


Meant To Be

by redcupcake



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I love Mew taking care of Gulf so here we go, M/M, Mpreg, angsty shits gonna follow, blame mr suppasit for this since he keeps talking about pregnancy, fluffy shits gonna happen, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23045638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcupcake/pseuds/redcupcake
Summary: "Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had."― Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong, Tharn Kirigun/Type (TharnType)
Comments: 103
Kudos: 361





	1. Yuan Fen (缘分)

**_Yuan Fen (缘分):_ **

_(n) A relationship by fate or destiny; the binding force between two people._

Mew wasn't really in the mood for a day like this, he didn't even like this place.He felt awful while watching those people, some were looking at them with the obvious jealousy in their eyes, some of them hated them deeply; Mew could sense it from the way they looked at him and his friends.Some of them had hopeful eyes, they wanted to get choosen and get rid of that dumpster.

"Mew, focus-If you can't find someone again, this time your mom and dad is gonna kick your ass out." Mild said as he patted on his friend's shoulder after realizing Mew was spacing out, and the bigger guy just nodded, sighing deeply since he didn't really want this.

"I don't think I can do this-" He turned at Mild and his friend quickly stopped him before Mew could walk back to the entering gate, they were in the Area C for 10 minutes and Mew was already wanting to give up.

"Hey-hey." Mild pushed him by his shoulders to look at his face. "I know that you hate it---I don't like to see these people suffering like this too, Mew." He said in a soft tone, patting the guy's arms since he knew Mew was extra sensitive about this topic. "But it's been years man, you are the only son in your family and you can't just let your bloodline die like this." He tried to sound soft but he knew this sentence put even more weight on his shoulders.His family was the strongest family in the Area X, they were one of the five families who created Area C and tried to stop the chaos, cause things were out of hand and nobody was actually reproducing.The crime rate went higher and higher, each day their world was turning into a hell, and his family was one of those people who put an end to that mess.

Years ago a disease appeared, women were not able to give birth to boys anymore.Not even one female gave birth to a male, and when they realized they couldn't find any cure for it, the panic was out of control.Cause that meant after the last man died, everything was going to end.They tried it for years but there was no cure, they managed to make some women carry boys, but they were never able to give birth; either the boy died, or both.It was simply impossible.They thought it was their end, cause the chaos was slowly burning everywhere and the fear people felt was horrific.

But it went even worse.

Cause when everyone lost their hope, thinking it was the way of world actually ending; a guy got pregnant.

It was impossible, nobody should've believe when the news broke out but they were dealing with this women disease for years and any little thing was worth to try.That was when things went even worse, cause men started to attack each other, all of them wanted to have a boy and they were beyond desperate.But soon it stopped, cause after examining the guy's body they realized they couldn't use him to reproduce cause somehow it didn't happen with everyone.This guy was already gay and he had a partner, he just went to hospital because he was throwing up and he thought the reason was the spicy meal he had last night.He didn't expect to be courted by cops and found himself as a lab rat.

After a year the pregnant men number increased, but now everyone knew how it worked.Grabbing a stranger and sleeping with him wasn't enough, in simple words, it wasn't like how it happened between men and women.They could sleep with every women and they would get pregnant if they were not infertile.But between men, it didn't work like that.All men couldn't get pregnant, and the ones who could actually bear a kid, couldn't have it after sleeping with a random guy.Fertile guys had to sleep with a match, the government gathered them up to make them reproduce to end this nightmare but it didn't happen, cause making them sleep with a complete stranger didn't change anything in the fertile one's body.They didn't have just one match, they saw one fertile guy having sexual intercourse with three guys in total, and all of them were successfull, meaning he was impregnated.

Back then the streets were dreadful, but it was mostly rape; but after the government revealed that fertile guys could only get pregnant with two conditions, crime rate increased in a horrible speed.Fertile ones could only get pregnant if they would get knotted during the right time, timing was everything.It was different for every person, it wasn't easy to tell it like women cause men didn't have periods, only themselves could feel it since they would be able to realize the little changes in their body.It lasted for about a week, mostly in every 3 months.So that was why not a lot of people was able to get some guy pregnant since it was hard to find the right time.But the second condition was the one who made everything worse; cause obviously, if the fertile one didn't want to get pregnant; knotting him meant nothing.They tried everything, but most of the test subjects didn't want to experience something like that; pills, medicines, needles, nothing actually work on them even if they were %100 fertile and doctors were forcing it during the right time.

Cause the subject wasn't accepting it.

And there was no way to change his mindset.Even if he would tell them that he wanted it because he didn't want to get imprisoned or anything else; still, deep down he wasn't wanting it.And it ruined everything.

That was why everything went worse in the city, cause frustrated men started to kill fertile ones, it was a disaster.Not only making streets bloody and people losing their minds, but they were also killing fertile men and that could be the end of them.They needed fertile men the most, they had no other option and that was why they had to stop this mess, as soon as possible.

So after a huge amount of fertile guys were murdered, they created Area C and gathered all of the fertile ones in there.It was a rushed solution since they couldn't risk any more fertile passing away.

But it wasn't the best since problems kept following.

"Leave him the fuck alone!"

Mew got startled with the sudden shout and turned around to see what was happening.This wasn't the best solution cause this Area was completely different from theirs, it was called dumpster for a reason.It was like an old, destroyed city.The government was giving them enough things to live and actually at first this area wasn't ruined like this.But when few of them teamed up against the weaker ones and tried to take the control, things went ugly in the Area C.But nobody actually cared since fertile ones were still alive, they preferred to use their sources on experiments instead of fixing their life.Simply, they were living in the dumpster.

"He is just a kid you asshole!"

Mew saw the angry, no, furious boy grabbing the kid who was being dragged by another man.

"I can choose anyone I want---And I'm choosing him, I have a feeling like he will want to have my kids." The guy winked at the angry boy and tried to take the kid again, he was probably 14 or 15, not older but maybe younger.

"Go fuck yourself!" The boy slapped his hand when he tried to take the kid again and the man sighed angrily.

"Don't make me call the guards, you ungrateful whore." He stared at him as he pointed his index finger, obviously threatening him cause this area was made for fertile men, yes, but it wasn't actually for them.That was why Mew felt awful while walking around like that, it was like a human shop, you could go in and pick one, nobody would stop you, instead of that they actually supported that and punished the ones who made problems.

"Move." The guy said, he was getting more angry as he glared at the boy but the boy didn't move, he was hiding the kid behind himself.

"I said, go fuck yourself." He said and Mew saw the way he glared back at the guy's eyes; he wasn't scared.If Mew wouldn't hear the threat, he would think the boy was also a normal man, but he was a fertile one and it was surprising since fertile ones didn't actually had nerves to piss off others.

"And I said-" The guy grabbed his collar all of sudden, he easily shook the boy since he seemed really skinny.

"Mew no-" Mild tried but in few seconds Mew grabbed the guy instead, pulling him away from the other boy and forcing him to let him go.

"The fuck are you doing?! Are you going to try to impregnate a kid?!" He asked furiously, his disgusted expression making the other guy get confused.

"Who the hell are you---aren't you here for the same reason?" He asked, pushing Mew off and fixing his shirt. "Such a fucking saint." He rolled his eyes, everyone knew younger ones were easier since their mindset wasn't so strong and making them pregnant was easier because of that, but most of them couldn't handle it and died with the embryo inside them, not that they cared, everyone was desperate enough to give it a shot.

"I'm just-"

"Shut the fuck up." Mew threw him a glare, he was trying so hard to stay calm and not punch the shit out of him. "Move and find someone else." He stated and Mild closed his eyes after sighing, he knew this mood, there was no way to make Mew step back now, he was dead serious.

"Who do you think you are? I saw him first, you can't steal him." The guy came closer, thinking Mew wanted the kid for himself.

Mew sighed before turning his back at the guy and facing the furious boy from before.He was wearing a very old and dirty shirt with some old jeans, his hair was fluffy and he seemed even younger from close.But his eyes were burning, he didn't even avert his gaze for one second.He was still holding the kid behind himself and obviously not thinking about moving.

"I can steal him and I will, move." He said to the boy and Mild had to stop the other guy since he was trying to get closer, still wanting to have the kid.

"Over my dead fucking body." The guy hissed, Mew was obviously taller and broader than him, even one punch would make him end up on the floor but the boy still stood there like a stone.

"You sick assholes should go and fuck your own holes! Are you even human?!" The boy threw him a disgusting look before spitting right beside his feet and Mew sighed deeply.

"Do you want me to call the guards?" He said in a higher tone and the boy was about to say something when he leaned a little closer.

"I'm just saving him, trust me." He whispered while the other guy was still struggling between Mild's arms, trying to get closer and grab the kid.

He saw the fluffy haired boy pausing for a moment and Mew give him a soft look, trying to show he was honest.

"P'." The kid said and Mew saw how scared he was when the boy finally moved away, revealing his face. "Don't give me." He mumbled and tried to hold his arm again but Mew saw the boy not letting him.

"The other guy is gonna take you if you don't go with him." He said, pointing at the other asshole as he averted his gaze.That was when Mew realized he couldn't look at the kid.He wasn't scared to get killed by attacking Area X's men but he couldn't look at a kid just because he couldn't save him.

"I don't want to---P!" He reached out for the boy when Mew quickly grabbed his hand.He took him to the building at the entrance, Mild also ran after them, leaving the disappointed guy behind.

"Please let me go-I wanna go back!" The boy was crying as Mew kept dragging him but he didn't say anything, this had to happen.The short kid was still sniffling and crying softly when Mew said his friend took an interest in the kid, which left Mild open mouthed.After few phone calls it was settled, nobody was allowed to take that boy out, cause Mild was going to have him as a mate when he become 18, which meant 4 years later since they learnt the boy was only 14.Mild had no chance but accept it, he didn't have a match either and that bastard was waiting to take this little boy, he wouldn't let that happen.But it wasn't that easy, he had to impregnate the kid in a year after taking him out, or else he would be back in Area C for other potential matches.

Mild sighed, at least he had 4 more years to think about that.

"Are you feeling better?" Mew asked after handing the boy a bottle of water, seeing his ruined clothes and puffy eyes made his heart ache.He really hated this but he was in no place to change it.

"T-Thank you." He mumbled while looking down and Mild exchanged looks with Mew as they saw the boy holding the bottle with his trembling hands.

"Hey, we are the good guys! You don't have to be sad!" Mild suddenly said in a cheerful tone and sat beside the boy. "You can stay with your brother until I come and take you out, we will be close friends!" He said with a smile, patting the boy's back and only earning a nod since the boy seemed so confused about everything that just happened, he really thought he was getting picked for being a mate, which scared the shit out of him.

"He is...not my brother." He said after drinking some water.

"Really?" Mild got surprised.

"Then why did he protect you like that?" Mew quickly walked closer with curious eyes.

"He..-I came here at 10." He said in a low tone, he was still looking down but he seemed better than before.Also kids usually got locked in there after being 10, government wasn't letting people know they were fertile until they became 10. "He's protecting me..-since then." He gulped, talking was still hard for him.

"For 4 years? He is here for 4 years?" Mew got surprised, they weren't even related and he protected the boy for that long? How did he even manage to stay there without getting picked for 4 years?

"He always..-makes a fuss. People think he won't want it..-so they don't choose him." The boy answered the question in their minds and both of them nodded.Mild kept comforting him and telling him they still had a lot of time to get worried about future, then the boy was returned back to the Area with guards beside him.

"Awesome, we came here to find you a match and I'm fucking matched to an 14 year old boy.Thank you Mew, you are the best friend I could ever have." He said while glaring at him and Mew sighed deeply before throwing himself on the bed.They were staying at a hotel close to Area C since his parents told him to not go home without finding a match.

"Tomorrow we are going there and you are grabbing the first guy who looks at you, there is no other way Mew.Prepare yourself." Mild said before leaving to go to his room.

He was right, there was no other way.

After 2 hours of staring at the every wall in the room Mew decided, he was gonna take the worst one in there; he wanted someone who really needed to get out of there, this way Mew could also help them.Or else he was going to lose his mind cause it felt awful to go and pick someone like that.

It took him a week to go back there again, he couldn't keep stalling since his parents kept pressuring him.

Actually he made his mind and he was really stiff as they walked into the gate once again.Soon his eyes landed on a boy who was staring back at him, and when the poor looking boy smiled at him softly, that was it.He was going to take that boy, at least he could take someone and change their life.Even if he could take just one, it was still a person, he could help them.

He was walking towards him when they heard a scream.

"It's okay, it happens a lot." The boy Mew planned to approach said as the other guys around him sighed like they were sicked of it and started to walk away. "Someone is probably getting raped, they never stop trying." He said with a tired voice.

This corner was pretty away from the guards and they didn't really pay that much attention, even other fertiles were used to it.

"Do you want to-"

"I need to go." Mew said before the boy could approach and quickly ran to the direction he was hearing some strong sobs.

He was ready to see a rape scene, his mind was really ready when he stepped inside the barn.But he gulped after taking a step in and seeing the view.

It was the guy from that day who was insisting about taking that kid named Son.

He was laying in the middle of the barn with a scythe stabbed inside his chest.His own blood was creating a pool around of his body and it took a minute for Mew to lift his head.

"Are you...---okay?" He asked, taking another step in but he wasn't really able to walk and pass from that dead body on the floor.

"Did you save him?"

Mew didn't understand what he meant when the boy suddenly asked.He quickly realized that his face was so much worse than that day, he was so pale and blood was all over him, he had huge circles under his eyes.

"Did you fucking save him?!" He suddenly yelled and Mew nodded quickly.

"Nobody can take him out until he becomes 18." He answered, his voice getting clearer.He watched the boy nodding.

"Get out." He said before crawling on the floor, he seemed like he had no energy and Mew got even more confused when he saw the boy taking a knife beside the man.He probably tried to attack the boy first, of course, he was a fucking asshole.

"You don't wanna see this, believe me." He said with dead eyes, he was seeming so tired and drained.Mew was still shocked and speechless because of the dead guy on the floor but his blood rushed to places when he saw the boy leaning on the hay stack calmly and slitting his right wrist with one quick move.

"What are you doing?!" He forgot about the dead guy and ran beside him, his palms quickly squeezing the place the boy just slit like it was nothing.

"Just walk away." He mumbled before closing his eyes, he seemed so exhausted.Mew was too confused to understand what was happening but he quickly threw the knife away, gulped as he realized how much blood was coming out.

"It will end quick, leave me alone." The boy said but he furrowed his eyebrows, opening his eyes as he heard a sound.

"I told you to leave me alone! No-No! Don't!" He tried so hard to push him as he watched the guy tearing a piece of his shirt and wrapping it around of his deep cut.

"No!----I don't want to be saved---Can't you see?!" He got furious but the guy didn't let him move away until he wrapped it tight and good enough for now.

"I want to die... Let me die..." He mumbled as his eyelids became so heavy, his head was dropped on the hay stack as the white cloth around of his wrist started to become red.

"How did it happen... I didn't want it... How could.." He mumbled to himself, his voice getting lower and lower as Mew stared at him with his confused eyes.

He had no idea what happened to that boy.

"Did he..." he finally realized.

"How?" Mew asked as he stared at the dead man on the floor, now not feeling bad as before since he got even more disgusted by him.

"He payed off the guards." The exhausted boy let out a weak chuckle, like it was always happening in there.

That guy didn't leave after them, he wanted to give him a lesson for letting Mew steal the kid and it was easy for him to make guards go away for a while, until he was done with the boy.

"But why..---Why did you kill him now?" Mew got surprised after realizing the guy raped him that day, but he was dead after a week.

The atmosphere was so heavy.The smell was so heavy, Mew's heart was so heavy, the boy's eyes were so heavy as they stayed there for few more seconds without saying anything.

"Let's get you to--" Mew grabbed his arm and was about to carry him since he needed a treatment right now and Mew was back on his senses.

"I can't----please." The boy pleaded, his tone was so low and when Mew looked at his eyes, he couldn't see the boy he saw a week ago.He seemed so fearless, so ready to fight, his eyes were burning; but now those eyes were so desperate.

He really wanted to die and it made Mew's heart drop on the floor.

"Come on." Mew tried again but the boy pushed him with all strength he got. "Just leave me alone---I don't want to be saved---just go away!" The boy was hitting his shoulder again and again as he squirmed and didn't let the guy carry him, doing everything to be not carried.

"He impregnated me!" He screamed when Mew was about to win and take him since the boy wasn't in his best state.

"He fucking impregnated me!---Do you understand?!" He looked at Mew when the guy placed him down again and pulled a bit away.

"But..--how?" He seemed confused, he knew the boy didn't want it.

"I don't know I--" The boy mumbled and Mew felt so awful, horrible in a level he never felt before when he watched the poor boy sniffling as few tears rolled down.He seemed really strong, he really took care of a kid for years and acted strong, but he was breaking like this.Mew couldn't imagine how hard it was to live a life like his.Like theirs.

"I--just can feel it." He said between his tears and Mew saw him looking at his stomach before closing his eyes. "Please..--walk away..---let me die peacefully.." He mumbled and in few seconds Mew realized that he finally passed out.

He lost himself for a while.

He was sitting across the boy and watching him getting closer to death with every second, the white cloth was already soaked in red.

He then looked at the man on the floor, the scene wasn't freaking him out anymore, he felt an urge to grab that thing and stab him over and over again.

"Oh my god!" Mew heard a surprised yell and saw the boy with few guards, he probably went to find someone since Mew didn't go back for a long while.

"Are you okay, sir?" One of them approached to him as the other was reporting others, telling them one of Area X people was dead, which meant the one who killed him was going to get punished.

"Did he hurt you too?" The guard pointed at the unconscious boy and when other two was about to grab him, Mew quickly put his hand on air, it was enough to make them stop since they all knew who he was.

"What happened, sir?" They were all confused, including the small boy who was watching from afar.

"I killed him." He pointed at the dead guy. "He was trying to force himself on my mate."

"But sir--"

"I said I fucking killed him!" Mew suddenly screamed and the guy quickly looked down. "Do you have any problem with that?!"

"No---my apologies, sir." He quickly said and the boy on the door gulped, realizing this man was something more than he thought, he never saw the guards acting like that.

"I hope he dies from losing too much blood and I will make you guys go through hell." He said angrily while lifting the boy up, he felt another tug on his heart since he was so light.

Guards ran after him, already reporting to the office that they needed medical help.  
  
  


**-**

  
"I left you alone---for an hour." Mild messed his hair before looking at his friend. "Just a fucking hour and---you are soaked in blood, Mew."

"Shut the fuck up, Mild." Mew glared at him, his hands still tugging on his hair as he was sitting on the chair with his bloody clothes.

"But seriously.." Mild sat beside him. "How did he get pregnant? I'm %100 sure he didn't want that scum's kid.This is nonsense."

"I don't know." Mew sighed deeply, he was feeling worse than he thought he would feel.He knew going there would destroy him, he didn't even like the idea of some people living like that because of his own family, but witnessing how hard it was with his own eyes was something else.He saw it in that boy's eyes, he was too tired for someone at his age, too hopeless.

"Oh, Mr.Suppasit." The doctor stopped when Mew stood up. "I need to report this--"

"What?" He didn't let him, kept standing on his way.

"He is completely fine, malnutrition and blood loss caused him to pass out.But his body is getting ready for the embryo, I can say that he was impregnated in this week and I need to report this." The guy explained and tried to move again but Mew's hand on his shoulder stopped him, causing Mild to get surprised.

"You don't have to report it."

"But he wasn't matched and it's not allowed to--"

"I'm his match."

Mild's eyes opened in shock as he stared the fuck out of his friend.

"I wanted to see if he lied or not, you know how they act like they will let you impregnate them but they actually don't do it after you save them from this place." He started to talk in a very, very fake tone and Mild knew every word was a damn lie.

"I was here a week ago, if you take further tests you can see that it happened on the exact day I was here." He said with a steady voice.

"Mew--"

"I'm the father." Mew said to the doctor. "Please report them like this and leave the rest to me."

The doctor nodded, seeming a bit surprised as he walked away but he knew the only son of Suppasit family had no reason to lie to him, it was nonsense anyway, so it was probably the truth.

"I am...--having a fucking headache." Mild said before taking his face between his hands.

Mew just stood there and pushed his hair back, taking a deep breath.

This was the first corner he chose to take, this was the first time he decided for something in his life; not forced by his family, this time he made this choice all by himself.

"Let's begin." He mumbled to himself as he stared at his buzzing phone, his dad was calling.  
  
  
  



	2. The Best Match

_**"In mathematics, two angles that are said to coincide fit together perfectly.** _

_**The word "coincidence" does not describe luck or mistakes. It describes that which fits together perfectly."** _

_**-Wayne Dyer** _

_**-** _

“Hurry up, Mild!”

“Fine fine---His name is Gulf, he’s 22 years old, it says that he caused a lot of problems like attacking the visitors and—holy shit.” Mild stopped looking at the tablet between his hands and Mew stopped walking, he was walking back and forth on the hallway.

“What?” He looked at his friend curiously.

“Remember what Son said---he said Gulf was here for 4 years and he was captured when he was 10 cause they always get kids here after 10—“

“What’s your damn point, Mild?!”

“Don’t yell at me---it makes me panic!” Mild said, closing his eyes and shaking his hands.

“He’s gonna wake up soon and I don’t even know what to do! He fucking cut his wrist in front of my eyes, Mild! He murdered a guy before and was—“

“He wasn’t captured at 10!” Mild looked at him, raising his voice as he tried to understand the information he just read.

“What?” Mew furrowed his eyebrows. “That’s impossible, the system makes sure that—“

“The system keeps it as a secret after spotting the fertile ones until they are 10.But he wasn’t fertile, his test was negative.”

“What?” Mew kept staring at him for few seconds, not getting what he was talking about.

“Reports are saying that he wasn’t fertile until he turned 18.That’s why he’s been here for 4 years, he was captured at 18.”

“What the…” Mew mumbled before grabbing the tablet, his eyes confirming the information Mild just explained.

“Does that even happen?” He asked to Mild while his finger tapped on the tablet, looking for more.

“Apparently, it does.That’s why we get tested until 20, there are some people who turned out to be fertile until that age but it never changes after 20.”

“Damn it.” Mew looked at him. “It means…”

“He lived his life like usfor a long time.” Mild completed and Mew sighed deeply, ruffling his already messy hair since he never stopped tugging on them since he stepped inside that building.

“It must be… so hard.” Mild mumbled, imagining how bad was the situation the boy was in.He was living a normal life and thought that he wasn’t fertile, and everything changed to hell after one test.

“Maybe that’s why he killed him.” Mild said and Mew stopped creating holes on the wall with his eyes but looked at his friend. “You said he attacked him right after us, but he didn’t kill him.---it probably…happens a lot here.” He added unwillingly, looking down before sighing. “—But he killed him after a week when he visited later, he probably lured him to that barn on purpose.”

“Cause he felt it.” Mew said and Mild nodded.

“Fertile ones usually feels it when they get impregnated.” He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, sitting on the chair and looking at his very uneasy friend calmly. “But Son said he protected him all these years---the reports say he took a lot of beating and worse for the younger ones.Why would he want to…--kill his own child?” He looked at Mew and Mew just shook his head, having an expression like he knew it already.

“Didn’t you see him?” Mew opened his arms, like it was too obvious. “I wouldn’t even realize he was a fertile if that guy didn’t mention it.They’re all used to be so docile and quiet since they come here really young and take the harder way---He wasn’t like that, cause he grew up like us.”

Mild kept blinking while looking at him, seeming like he still didn’t get it.

“He is a man, Mild.” Mew said, raising his eyebrows. “He doesn’t want to be protected like the boys in there, he doesn’t want to get picked and get out of here.Cause he doesn’t want to get impregnated.”

Mild sighed deeply before taking his head between his hands.

“He used to be a normal guy, this is all too much for him.” He mumbled, getting what Mew meant and feeling even worse now.Fertile ones were already living a very hard life but at least embracing their trueselves early before they discovered their own body and personality was a good thing, cause they were growing up and getting used to it.But it was all different with Gulf, that was why he kept causing trouble, he didn’t accept this.

They were both quiet and busy with thinking about all of that when a loud bang was heard and Gulf appeared on the door with a very, very unhappy face.He was wearing a hospital gown and his wrist was neatly wrapped up.He obviously ripped of the IV before storming out all of sudden.

“Did you---fucking save me?!”

Mild’s eyes got so big and he froze on his seat when the pale boy grabbed Mew by his collar in a second.

“Who do you think you are?! A goddamn hero?!” He screamed at Mew’s face and Mild gulped, this boy obviously a different one and Mew put himself into a deep shit this time.

“Mr.Suppasit—“ Two guard appeared on the hallway after his loud voice echoed.

“It’s fine.” Mew put his hand in air to signal them to not interrupt.

“What were you thinking?! Huh?!” Gulf didn’t seem like he actually cared about their surroundings right now, he didn’t seem like he cared about anything, he was just looking at Mew’s eyes directly with his fiery ones.Mew was obviously larger and stronger than him since the boy was too skinny, but he just let Gulf shake by his collar like that.

“Do you feel good?! Do you feel like a hero now?! You can go back to city and tell your friends that you saved someone while having a goddamn drink?!”

“Get in.” Mew said as he realized the boy was getting louder and angrier, he didn’t want everyone to learn his little lie.

“Let me go---“ Gulf furrowed his eyebrows when he was pushed inside the room again and Mew sighed deeply after getting punched in the face.

“Don’t fucking push me like that!” Gulf roared after punching him and Mild saw the scene in front of the door.He pressed his lips together, watching his friend rubbing his jaw and sighing.Mild knew this wasn’t going to be easy, he grabbed the doorknob and slowly closed the door, leaving the two inside as he sat back on the chair and grabbed the tablet, wondering if there was any other information about that loud boy.

“Why aren’t you hitting me?” Mew couldn’t find a time to talk when Gulf grabbed his collar again, pushing him against the door Mild just closed. “You saved my life---I’m being ungrateful---hit me back!”

“Calm down for a second and—“ Mew stopped when Gulf grabbed his collar tighter and jerked his body, hitting him against the door as Mew let him.

“Hit me back! Fucking show me my place!---I’m lower than you! Prove it to me!” He was screaming angrily as Mew closed his eyes and felt his back hitting the door again and again because of the furious boy.

“Hit me back---beat me up till I die.” He didn’t scream that one, his tone sounded different and it caused Mew to look at his eyes.

“I was supposed to die---why did you do it?” Gulf looked at him angrily, but this time Mew could see how scared he was.He really didn’t want this.

The boy pulled his hands away from his collar and turned his back at Mew, grabbing his hair and tugging on them for a while.

Mew didn’t say anything, actually he didn’t know what to say.He learnt a lot of things all of sudden and he knew he was in no place to give that boy a life lesson.

“Why are you still here?” Gulf asked, probably thought about everything after attacking Mew like that and realized him still being there wasn’t logical.

“You saved me, good job, get yor cookies and hero cap before walking away.” He spit the words angrily and Mew looked at him.

“I can’t.” He said and Gulf furrowed his eyebrows.

“What?”

“I told them that I killed him.”

“What?” Gulf’s eyebrows got worse as he stared at the man.

“I told them he tried to attack you and I killed him.” He looked at the pale boy’s big eyes, smiling weirdly. “And another one little thing,” he put his index finger in air, causing Gulf’s eyes stare at him harder. “—I said that I’m the father.”

“What?” Gulf kept looking at him as Mew sighed deeply, for nth time. “Why? What do you want?” Gulf seemed confused, he was probably trying to understand the reason but it was nonsense since nobody would do it, everyone wanted their own match and child, that was why they kept coming there and choosing one.Nobody would do something like this unless they lost their goddamn mind.

“I hate all of this, the system, the way it works, the way you guys have to live---everything, probably more than you do.” Mew said in a softer tone, taking few steps closer to the boy who was standing in the middle of the room with a suspicious expression. “I was forced to come and pick a match cause I’m the only son and—I never wanted it.”

Gulf’s thick eyebrows were still furrowed when Mew took another step closer, giving him some time to understand his reason.

“I think we can help eachother.” He said but Gulf quickly shook his head no, taking a step back.

“I’m not doing anything---I’m not living like this.” He said as he kept shaking his head.

“Gulf—if you say that I’m not the father and tell them the truth---they are gonna give you to some other guy, nothing is gonna change.They won’t let you walk away with a child inside you.”

“Shut up----shut the fuck up!” Gulf seemed like he got triggered by those words and closed eyes, putting his hands up like he was so close to lose it.

“Nobody is giving me to anyone---I’m gonna find another way.” He mumbled, his hand brushing his hair back as he nodded to himself. “Yes—I will fucking kill myself again.” He looked at Mew with determined eyes. “There is no way that I’m going to live like this.”

“Are you telling me that you’re gonna kill yourself just because you are able to get pregnant?” Mew walked closer again and the boy licked his lips angrily, he seemed so on edge.

“Don’t fucking talk like you know anything.”

“I don’t—I’m hating myself for being myself, living a life like I have since I stepped inside Area C!” Mew raised his voice and Gulf kept glaring at him, not backing off when the man moved closer. “It’s a piece of you.” Mew said, meaning the child and Gulf was easily triggered again.His stare got stronger when Mew felt him hitting his index finger at his chest.The boy was really raised like a normal one, even his instincts were not kicking at all.

“I’m not living like this.” He said, pressing his finger hard against Mew chest as he glared at him.

“It’s a piece of you.” Mew repeated, this time softer but it caused Gulf to gulp and close his eyes with anger.

“Shut the fuck up.” His fingers turned into a fist against the guy’s chest.

“It wouldn’t happen if you didn’t want it.” Mew said, his voice becoming lower when the boy’s fist grabbed his shirt tightly.

“What the hell do you mean? Do I look like I wanted to get raped by that filthy guy?”

Mew shook his head no, the boy was fuming but he was seeming calm as he grabbed Gulf’s wrist.He didn’t pushed his hand away or move away from the grip, he just held his wrist.

“It crossed your mind---even if it was just for a second, you wanted to have it.” He said softly and watched Gulf shaking his head no again.

“I’m a man---And I’m gonna die as a man!” He looked at Mew. “I’m gonna find a way, I’m going to kill myself until I finally do it!” He yelled angrily and Mew was about to say something when the door opened.

“Gulf?” A woman appeared in front of Mild and she seemed so disappointed. “Why would you…say that?” She walked in and Mew looked at Gulf, watching him getting tense and rubbing his palms together before he turned his back at them, not looking at the woman.

“I don’t want to see you---Leave me alone.”

“Gulf…” The woman walked closer, Mew knew it was his mom since he insisted about bringing someone from his family and learnt that he only had his mom.His dad died really early and Gulf probably didn’t even remember him.

“It’s been four years Gulf, don’t you think it’s enough?” Her voice cracked as she started to cry and Mew could only gulp, he already learnt that Gulf never let his mom see him after being captured, they could see their parents, it wasn’t easy but at least for few times in a year was possible; but Gulf was the only one who never accept to meet.

“It’s not! It’s not!” Gulf turned at them, the boy was crying and Mild quickly looked down, he knew he would start to cry too, especially after everything he read.The boy had the hardest life lessons in that place and Mild could understand his emotions.

“I can’t live like this!---This is---It’s not me! I don’t want this!” He screamed angrily as tears kept rolling down and Mew saw him closing his eyes when his mom made a move before Gulf could move away.

“I missed you so much.” She was crying but a smile appeared on her lips as she saw Gulf not moving away when she caressed his cheek.

“It’s fine, it will be fine.” She mumbled, cupping both of his cheeks and wiping his tears but Gulf shook his head again.

“It won’t---I can’t do this mom.” He finally opened his eyes and looked at his mom, Mew felt really weird since the boy seemed like a realy boy at his own age while looking at his mom; like he as actually a teenager, a young, scared and lonely one.

“I missed you so much.” The woman repeated before pulling him into a hug and Mew decided to walk out after seeing the boy hugging him back.

“She knows.” Mew told Mild after they left the two inside. “She knows that he doesn’t want to be a fertile, he got triggered when I used the child word and she never used anything like that.” He sighed. “That’s why he didn’t want to see him, he is ashamed---god damn it.” He cursed under his breathe, leaning the back of his head on the wall.He was lost in his thoughts when he heard Mild’s chuckle.

“What?” He lifted his head, glaring at his friend.

“It’s just…you wanted to save the worst one.” Mild smiled.

“Do you think it’s the right time for your lame jokes, Mild?” Mew gave him a tired look.

“No but think about it---it all happened all of sudden, like he was the one you were looking for, you know.” He said with a smile. “I think you got yourself the best match, bro.” He said, his hunch was telling him that.

“I just want him to live.” Mew sighed, looking at the ceiling with his tired eyes. “I saw the look in his eyes when he cut his wrist.” He mumbled, he saw how desperate the boy was, how exhausted.He just didn’t want to imagine the picture Gulf killing himself again just because of this disease, just because of this system which messed up his life and left him all confused like this.He needed a son and he was going to have it anyway, Area C was filled with fertile men, but if he could help Gulf he would feel so much better.He already hated this all and would give his everything to change it, but this was the only thing he could do, at least for now.

“Let’s have a talk.” Later at that night, Gulf’s mom invited him inside.

Mew had to go back to the Area X tomorrow morning, no matter what.He wanted to go back with Gulf but he wasn’t sure how things were going to work out.

“I will get some coffee.” She said after Mew walked inside and Mew just nodded, sitting on the couch weirdly.

“So…how are you?” He asked to Gulf, who was laying on the bed again.His mom convinced him to have the IV drip again.

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes.

“Okay.” Mew just mumbled, at least the boy wasn’t screaming now and it was a step, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me your opinions y'all!!!!! Thank you for reading and leaving kudos <3


	3. A Long Night

**_“Your strength doesn't come from winning. It comes from struggles and hardship._ **

**_Everything that you go through prepares you for the next level.”_ **

  
_― Germany Kent_

_**~** _

Mew mostly looked down instead of looking at the boy, cause actually his emotions were messed up.Mostly the people living in Area C was okay with this formation, they saw the chaos when fertile ones were not captured and they were all agreed to keep living like this.But Mew always felt awful about all of this, that was why he needed few days before making up his mind and going there again to pick someone.He hate to see everyone living like that cause he was thinking about something most of the people didn’t, the fact that it could be him.He could’ve been a fertile one too, his best friend could, anyone could; but nobody seemed like they thought about that.They were so focused on putting on a system and following it since they almost reaching the point of not being able to reproduce.

“Here.” He finally lifted his head and stopped thinking when the woman turned back to the room with a tray in her hands.He smiled softly and thanked her, holding the cup with both of his hands as he watched the woman sitting on the bed, placing their own drinks on the nightstand beside it.

“So, you guys already talked things out, right?” She asked and Mew smiled weirdly as Gulf sighed, rolling his eyes.

“I left you alone for more than 15 minutes, what have you been doing?” She raised her eyebrows and Mew looked at him innocently, not actually realizing it had been that long since he was lost in his mind.

“I just—“

“We don’t have to talk.” Gulf interrupted him and he looked at the boy, but Gulf was looking at his mother instead. “He’s the one who did this to me, he’s gonna take the responsibility.” He said, throwing a look at Mew when he saw the man getting lost for a second.

“Oh—yes---I mean yes, of course.” Mew quickly nodded, he realized that Gulf didn’t tell all the story to his mother.Maybe that was why she seemed happier than the time she stepped inside that room.She missed him for a long time and now seeing him alive and well was enough for him, that was probably why Gulf didn’t let her know about the way they treated him in the Area C, especially the rape part.

“I’m glad that he’s finally getting out of there.” She smiled at Mew and the man could only mirror it, he didn’t really know what to say, he didn’t even like his position right now cause that woman was dying to take his son back to his home but obviously, she couldn’t.Even if it wasn’t Mew, they were going to give him to someone else and it was making Mew feel even worse.

“He’s not gonna try something like this again—right?” She said softly as she grabbed her son’s wrist, caressing over the bandage gently.Mew looked at Gulf to see his reaction, the boy sighed as he saw his mother’s teary eyes.He gave her a soft nod but for Mew, it wasn’t so convincing.

“I can’t lose you too, Gulf.” She mumbled before sniffling and Mew saw Gulf averting his gaze when his mother’s hand caressed his own, he seemed like he actually forgot about his mother, like he did that on purpose and didn’t see her to not feel like this.He seemed much more loud and wild when his mom wasn’t around, but after a couple hours with his mother, his face seemed less stressed.

“I’m sorry for the trouble he caused, he won’t do it again.Please don’t report it.” She suddenly said to Mew with pleading eyes and Mew was surprised, he paused for a moment.

“Mom—“ Gulf grabbed her hand to stop her but she shook her head.

“No—it’s so nice of him to invite me here and—“ she wiped her tears before looking at Mew. “This is all too much for him but he’s not a bad boy—he will accept it eventually—I just need him to be safe and—please don’t report that he tried to kill himself—“ She was trying to stop crying and find the right words as she kept trying to convince Mew.They usually didn’t even let them see their parents, forgiving them after a mistake wasn’t even a thing, they had a lot of punishments for the fertile ones if they tried to kill themselves or try to end the pregnancy.It was simple, fertile ones were low life and Gulf’s mom was aware of it, so she was desperately trying to convince Mew to treat Gulf nice.

“Mom you don’t have to—“ Gulf was about to stop her again but he got surprised when Mew suddenly stood up.His mom was even more surprised when the guy kneeled down in front of her.

“I’m not going to report him.” Mew said as he looked up at her, grabbing both of her hands kindly.Gulf could only watch since he wasn’t expecting a move like that.

“Thank you I just—“ She tried but Mew patted on her hands, not letting her keep doing the same thing as before.

“I won’t report him for anything.” He said, realizing the woman was worried since she knew her son, she was scared that he would do something again and get reported.

“I know that it wasn’t easy, but it will be better from now on.You don’t have to worry.” He said with a gentle smile, he couldn’t think of any other words, he didn’t want to lie to that woman so he told the truth, he was doing this to make things better and he was obviously not after a fertile guys like the now-dead- one.

“Plus—you can easily see him, you will see it yourself.” He said and his smile got wider when he saw the woman chuckling before wiping her tears, that detail really made her happy.Cause people usually took fertile ones like pets and didn’t really bother to let them see their families or anything.Mew was the last guy who would do that but he knew telling all of these wouldn’t convince that woman, she was a mother after all, so he just told the truth and hoped that she would sense he wasn’t the bad guy in this unfortunate story.

“As long as he is well and healthy, I will be good.” She said while looking at Gulf and Mew knew what she was trying to do, she was still not sure about her son.She never mentioned the pregnancy or child, didn’t use any words related to that which gave Mew a quiet signal; he noted, it seemed like not using those words or bringing the topic up would be better for them.

“I’m sorry---Mew, she needs to go.” Mild suddenly knocked and walked in, Gulf feeling surprised as he kept watching Mew, cause the guy didn’t bother to get up when someone knocked, he thought Mew would pull himself up quickly to not let anyone see him kneeling down in front of someone like that.

“Okay.” Mew nodded, slowly getting up as the woman followed him.

“Don’t do anything stupid, take care---alright?” She told him while cupping his cheeks and Mew saw the boy nodding.Gulf smiled gently as she waved at him before walking out and waved back.But Mew watched his smile quickly disappearing after the woman left.He realized how strange this was, it was in the middle of night and they were alone in the room, actually Mew wanted her to stay that night so the next day they could go back to Area X together; he was lowkey scared of Gulf’s reaction anyway.But Mild warned him about not making the manager of building suspicious, the whole thing was surprising enough.

He rubbed his palms against to each other nervously, not really knowing what to say.But he raised his eyebrows and looked at the boy’s side as he heard some voices.He watched the pale boy getting comfortable on bed, completely covering himself with the white blanket and resting his head against the pillow.

“So, your name is Mew?” Gulf asked as he looked at him and Mew moved back to the couch across his bed, sitting down again.

“How old are you?” The younger asked and Mew looked at his big eyes which didn’t seem so fiery like before.

“29.” He answered and Gulf’s eyebrows made a quick move like he was surprised, but he quickly got himself together.

“I didn’t want to find a mate, I couldn’t stall my family anymore.” He explained without hearing him asking.He knew most of the people didn’t actually wait till his age.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” He asked so calmly, Mew wouldn’t actually believe he was screaming with that angry face earlier cause the boy seemed so calm and peaceful while having his cheek against the pillow like that and looking at him.

“We have mothers, but the next generation of men will not have mothers.” He was talking slowly, Mew realized that he actually kept ignoring the reality of being a fertile, so he never gave it a thought.He was really focused on helping the other kids in Area C, so he was only facing with the truth now.

“I don’t think I can replace my mother with anything.” He mumbled, one of his hands sliding under the pillow and making the corner of Mew’s lip curl up a little since he seemed like such an innocent move.

“They will still have a family.” Mew said after a while and watched the boy’s eyes finding his again. “You can’t replace your mom with anything cause you care about each other, cause she raised you and you are bonded.” He tilted his head. “Not because she is a woman.”

Gulf kept staring at him, this time his stare wasn’t hateful or angry, it seemed similar to the time he cut his wrist, he seemed tired.

Mew actually wanted to tell him to not hurt himself, tell him that they could try this out and it could be good for him, tell him that being able to carry a child wasn’t a thing to kill himself; but he stayed quiet until the boy closed his eyes.He thought saying one wrong word could flip everything again, the boy wasn’t stable and Mew wasn’t blaming him for it, this whole thing was even too much for him, he couldn’t imagine Gulf’s head now.So he chose to not say anything, he just sat there.Maybe letting the boy think by himself was better, he seemed calmer after staying with his mom for a while and Mew didn’t want to pres the wrong buttons.

“We need to leave tomorrow.” Mew said as he stood up. “Good night.” He said, not getting a reply as he walked towards door and turned the lights off before walking out.

Everything inside him was screaming that he needed to stay there, make sure the boy wouldn’t try to hurt himself again.But he thought this was the best for everyone, if he was determined about ending his life, Mew didn’t think he would be able to stop him.He did it once cause everything was too much and Gulf wasn’t even used to live like that, probably all of sudden feeling his body reacting in a way only he could understand was shaking for him.So he did a mistake, tried to end it with killing himself.But he was going to try it everyday, even under Mew’s watch he would do it one day.Mew thought this night was the boy’s answer.Gulf didn’t say anything to him in the room, didn’t say he wanted to kill himself or he would give it a try with Mew’s plan.

Mew looked at the door before walking away, tonight was going to be his answer.

**_-_ **

“God damn it!” Mew cursed under his breathe, he was done with turning around so he threw the blanket over and sat on the bed.He couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of finding Gulf dead in the morning and it was bugging the shit out of him.He knew there was no way to change his mind but still he wanted there to be a way.That boy didn’t deserve to die, nobody would protect other kids like that, everyone in there focused on getting out as soon as possible, fertile ones needed to be worried about themselves first and that boy was doing the opposite for years.

He sighed before ruffling his hair and leaving his room, going downstairs again.

“Is there something—“

“I’m just gonna check on him.” Mew told the guard who was having a tea in the end of the corridor.

He stopped in front of the boy’s door, closed his eyes and exhaled before slowly opening the door.The bad scenario was seeing the boy in the pool of his own blood, the good one was seeing him sleeping peacefully.So he tried to not make a voice, slowly taking a step in to be able to see his bed.

The room was stil dark and he saw a movement on the bed, he was about to take another step to be able to see it more clear but he stopped breathing when he heard a muffled sob.

Gulf was crying.

He was crying really hard, it wasn’t loud but Mew could hear the way he tried to take deep breathes and stay quiet.

After gulping and feeling the tug on his heart, Mew managed to tilt his head and have a clear view of the younger.He was sitting on his bed, his head was resting on his knees and his hands were tugging on his hair.

This view made Mew feel worse, he couldn’t describe the feeling around his stomach, it almost felt like falling down from somewhere high.

The boy seemed really small like that, Mew already know that he wasn’t able to eat that much in there and it caused him to gulp again, but the thing he felt in his throat wasn’t actually going down.It was so heartbreaking to hear his sobs, he couldn’t actually stand it for few more minutes, so he left the room quietly just like how he entered.

He couldn’t kill himself.It was 6 in the morning and he was still breathing, he couldn’t kill himself but he didn’t want to live like this either.Mew knew he would definitely do it again if his mom didn’t come, but he saw the way that woman looked at him,Most importantly, he saw the way Gulf looked at her.He wasn’t doing it again just because of her, but he still didn’t want this.

Mew didn’t realize he was sitting on the floor, right in front of Gulf’s door until the guard called him.

“Mr.Suppasit..? Is everything alright?” He seemed confused as he looked down at the man and Mew just shook his head no, checking his watch before standing up.

“Do you want me to—“ The guy said a bit loud and Mew quickly pressed his index finger on his lips.

“Shh!” He said before grabbing the doorknob and opening the door slowly, letting out a sigh after seeing the boy sleeping under the covers.

The guy gave him a confused look, not knowing what to do as he stood there until Mew made a hand gesture, signalling him to leave quietly.He just nodded and obeyed, then Mew slowly closed the door and took careful steps to the couch.He sat down on the couch and got relieved as he saw Gulf’s face not changing at all, he was probably exhausted after everything.

He leaned his elbow on the armrest, resting his cheek against his fist and sighing as he looked at the boy’s sleeping face.

At least he was alive, he cared about his mom and he was willing to try to not end his life, even if it was just for now, it was a good sign.

Mew closed his eyes, feeling better after making sure the boy was still breathing.He didn’t actually know what was gonna happen tomorrow, but he was also willing to give it a try.


	4. Drained

_Storms draw something out of us that calm seas don't._

**_-Bill Hybels_ **

_**-** _

Weirdly, Mew was more nervous than Gulf.The boy was wearing Mew’s spare shirt, it seemed really big on him and also made Mew realize he was even thinner than he thought.He also found him a pair of clean pants since his clothes were ruined.Younger took a shower before leaving and it caused his curls got fluffy on his head, Mew saw him trying to tug his bangs behind his ears for few times since it was really long.But the boy was quiet, he didn’t say anything else than _‘okay’_ and _‘yes’_ since he woke up and he was sitting on the passenger seat with his unchanged face.He didn’t really seem like he cared about being back in Area X, Mew could read his face since he saw the boy right before he tried to end his life.

The exhaustion.

It was still there but it wasn’t physical, Mew could see it.He chose to stay quiet too, so their ride was really, really quiet.

Completely.

Mew didn’t want to talk about a plan, or what they were gonna do, how things were gonna happen in future cause he could sense that it would trigger the boy.At least he was in the car, and alive.  
That was a step.

“We are here.” Mew said the first thing after hours, right after stopping the car.He didn’t move, he knew Gulf kept looking outside during all the ride but he also knew the boy didn’t even actually see.He was lost in himself, Mew already saw it last night.It wasn’t an emotional outbreak or one of the usual late night cries; Gulf was desperate and Mew could understand, well no, he couldn’t understand but he could imagine.

“No I—“ Gulf suddenly shook his head, his tight expression falling into pieces and surprising the older. “I can’t do this—I won’t be able to—“ He said, more to himself as he kept shaking his head.

“I can’t handle with being like this.” He looked at Mew, and the older knew he was meaning the child inside him.It was really fucking Gulf’s head up and nobody could actually blame him for it since his fertile side was late to come.

“Gulf, listen—“

“No no—I’m going to report myself—I can’t do this—“ He suddenly opened the door and walked out, but Mew quickly followed him out.

“Gulf!”

“I can’t fucking be your pet! I can’t—be like this!” He yelled angrily, the boy wasn’t even able to use the kid or pregnancy words, he wasn’t even looking down at himself at all.Like he was trying to deny it, ignore it somehow.

“Calm down, alright?” Mew took few steps closer to him. “You’re not gonna be anyone’s pet.”

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” Gulf pointed his index finger at him as his voice got really, really loud. “I was supposed to be normal! Normal!” He pushed Mew by shoulders and the older just closed his eyes, sighing as Gulf pushed him again. “Don’t act like you understand! You don’t understand shit! If you—“

“Get away from him, now.”

Mew got surprised when two security guards approached them.They were still in the garage and Mew’s family probably informed them, or else they wouldn’t dare to use such a rough tone at someone with Mew.

“What’s gonna happen if I don’t?” Gulf asked, looking at the two guys as he raised his eyebrows. “How about you guys get me down and beat me like—really good?” He said and Mew was going to tell him to stop, he knew Gulf was ready to do anything for someone to cause to lose the _‘thing’_ inside him.But Gulf was faster, Mew didn’t even see it coming when the boy punched him on the face all of sudden.

“Hey!---Hey!” He got alarmed when the two rushed towards Gulf, he was still holding his chin in pain as he stepped in front of younger. “It’s fine, go back to your job.” He said, putting his hand in air and moving his chin with a grimace.

“But sir—“

“I said—“ He glared at them. “—it’s fine.”

He sighed when both of them nodded before leaving and turned at Gulf.

“Get in the car.” He said, in a very serious tone.

Younger seemed puzzled with that even though his expression didn’t change at all.Cause the guy said they came and stopped the car, but he was telling him to get in the car again.

“Why?” He looked at him but raised his eyebrows when Mew stepped close.

“Get in the car.” Mew repeated, he didn’t seem like he was joking.He kept staring at Gulf since the boy did the same, but his eyes landed on the guy’s red chin for a while, Mew caught it.He then hit Mew with his shoulder before passing and sitting in the car again.

“If you think that you can scare me with—“

“You want to die, right? You want this to end.” Mew said after placing himself in the driver’s seat and Gulf looked at him carefully for the first time as older was running the car.Cause he seemed angry, he seemed mad, he seemed; in pain? But why? It didn’t make sense.

“Then let’s fucking die.” Mew said, even the way he was handling with the steering wheel was aggressive, Gulf could see he wasn’t bluffing or trying to scare him.The guy was really mad.

“I fucking hate this already! All of it!” He said as Gulf felt the car getting faster. “I don’t want to take a stranger from there and—sleep with him! I don’t want to have a kid from someone—like that! It’s fucking filthy and I feel so disgusted already---cause my family is a part of it! If you want to die that much—I will follow you cause you dying means I need to find someone---Have a kid from a stranger—Do you think I love this all?!” He looked at Gulf and younger was already watching him. “I don’t want to live the rest of my life with looking at my kid and knowing I had to ruin a life to get him---I don’t want it!” Gulf’s body got shaken on his seat cause Mew got the car faster and he grabbed the hand grip without knowing. “If you want to die, you are gonna take me with you---the child inside you and then your mother!”

“Shut up!” Gulf screamed back with his closed eyes cause the road made him woozy now since Mew was getting really fast.

“I won’t—you have a child inside you and you still have your mother—who loves you enough to beg to me like that! You know what would happen if I turned out to be a fertile?! My family would fucking abandon me!”

Gulf’s eyes were still closed and he was holding the handgrip tightly as he gulped.

“Let’s not give me a chance to live without feeling guilty for living the life I have! Let’s not give your mother a chance to see you living a better life---let’s not give any chance to the child inside you—“

“Stop it!” Gulf screamed. “Stop—stop the car!”

“For what? For you to give up after an hour?!”

“I said—stop the damn car!” Gulf screamed again and got shaken on his seat when the older stopped the car with a strong move.Younger quickly opened the door and Mew leaned his arms on the wheel, hitting his head on it as he saw Gulf throwing up.He stayed like that for a while and then lifted his head, grabbing a bottle of water from back and handing it to Gulf who just stopped letting it out.The boy took it but when Mew saw him not being able to open it, he felt like an asshole. Cause Gulf’s hands were trembling so hard and it was because of him.

He didn’t say anything as he took it back gently, opening it before handing to him again.

Mew was quiet as younger was drinking some water.

“I’m sorry.” He then mumbled, not really knowing what to say more.

“Do you think my mom would kill herself?” Gulf asked in a low tone after few minutes and Mew looked at him.

“She seemed like you were the only reason she kept staying alive.” Mew said with sad eyes. “She probably knew you would stay alive in Area C, you are a tough one.”

Gulf snorted.

“A tough one.” He mumbled. “With a child inside him.”

“You are wrong.” Mew said. “The ones with babies are the strongest ones.”

Gulf looked at him for a second but then he turned his head away again.Mew watched him sighing and leaning his elbow against the door before rubbing his face.

“Look---I know –no, I understand you—I don’t know, but I can imagine.” Mew said, being completely honest as he turned his body to younger in the car even tough Gulf was still facepalming. “You don’t want this, I understand—You don’t like this system, you survived there for years and saw it all---I understand—“

Gulf turned at him and this was the first time Mew actually stared at him from close like this.Cause the boy wasn’t making a fuss or anything, he just turned his head and looked at Mew’s eyes with his fiery ones.

“You can’t understand.” He said without averting his gaze, neither Mew did, he thought this was better since they could both see each other’s real intentions with looking the other like that.

“I..” Mew put his hands in air against to his chest, a soft gesture meaning that he wasn’t trying to offend younger. “I can imagine.” He kept the eye contact. “You never expected this, you never thought about it---it wasn’t supposed to happen to you.” Mew said, his tone getting calmer as he kept looking at younger who was looking right back at his eyes. “All I’m trying to say is—don’t you think it was too much to be a coincidence?” He tilted his head slightly, giving him a soft look. “I never wanted a mate, you never wanted a mate—I never liked my life, you never liked yours—“ Gulf sniffled and averted his gaze, turning his head away and looking outside before ruffling his hair, but Mew kept talking. “Everything’s happens for a reason, and you are the reason why I was there that day.”

“What are you trying to say?” Gulf turned at him again, his eyebrows were furrowed now but he didn’t seem too angry.

“I’m saying that we can help each other.” Mew said but Gulf just kept looking back at him. “At least we can try—come on,” he pointed at the road ahead them with his head. “—should we just run away like that or give it a chance—“ he looked at Gulf again. “I’m not playing Gulf, even if you choose to walk out of the car right now and go absent, I wouldn’t report you.”

“They would find me anyway.” Gulf stared at him.

“But I wouldn’t report you.” Mew repeated. “And I wouldn’t go back there to choose another one, this is already too much for me.” He got closer to the boy as he leaned to his side. “Let’s give it a shot, okay? You are tired, just get some rest for a while and—if you still don’t like all of this, we will think about it.”

“Why?” Gulf furrowed his eyebrows again. “This is not your problem, why do you want to keep up with it?”

“No—it’s my problem.It’s everyone’s problem.” Mew said quickly after shaking his head. “All my life I watched them doing this—horrible thing.” He closed his eyes while saying the last word. “I hate it, I hate it with everything I got and I’m so sick of it.Area C is everyone’s problem, everyone’s shame but they are just ignoring it.”

“Why can’t you?” Gulf asked, still looking right into Mew’s eyes.

“I just can’t.” Mew answered quickly. “It’s like drawing the short straw for you, right? Living this life?” Mew looked at him. “This life is short straw for me too.” He said and he was being completely honest, just like the younger boy in front of him, he was fed up as well. “I would rather to get thrown into that place and live like that instead of being on this side.” He looked at Gulf, waiting for a reaction but the boy kept his eyes on the older for a while, not saying anything.Mew didn’t pay attention to it but Gulf didn’t have anyone older than him in Area C, everyone was younger and he was the one who had to deal with the things, find a way.

That was why he had to turn his head away minutes ago, cause he felt so weird.He was used to be in charge for years, carry all the burden but this guy right in front of him was trying so hard to find a solution and it was normal to him, but it was so strange for Gulf.

“It had been years.” Gulf mumbled, sitting properly and looking in front of him again.

“What?” Mew got curious.

“It had been years since someone older than me—someone from Area X, talked to me like I’m not a piece of shit.”

“You are not a piece of shit, Gulf.” Mew said seriously.

“It’s hard to believe this when they treat you like that for years.” He said, his tone was really lifeless.

“Then let me treat you better.” He said and Gulf looked at him. “We can be friends, we can make this better for everyone—we can pull this off, Gulf.” He said, his tone sounded the opposite of younger’s, he was really believing they could pull it off.

“You can never know before trying.” He quickly said before younger when Gulf was about to say something, probably negative since his face seemed like that. “How about this—for a while, every time you feel like you wanna step back, ask for something to eat.”

“What?” Gulf seemed confused.

“Like—what do you want to eat right now? This is your first day out after years, what’s the thing you want to eat the most?” He asked with excited eyes and Gulf sighed, still seeming not really interested and tired as he slightly puckered his lips.

“Pizza, I guess.”

“Pizza---okay, that’s good.” Mew said and Gulf watched him running the car again with a relaxed face like he wasn’t the one who was about to drive them to death minutes ago.

He also rolled his eyes when Mew parked in front of a restaurant and forced him out.

He didn’t really see the light, Mew kept saying they could try it but Gulf wasn’t in a good condition to sit down and think about it cause he was the one who was having another life inside him, and that thought never left his mind.

They didn’t really talk while eating, Mew tried to start a chat for few times and Gulf actually replied, but he was just feeling tired, he was feeling like nothing really could make him feel better.

Mew was right.

He needed to rest.

He thought he handled it well when they were standing in front of his door.Gulf was still there and not trying to run away, so it was a win for Mew.All he wanted to do was taking him in and letting him have a good sleep, cause the boy needed it.

But he sighed deeply after entering the code and opening the door, cause his family was there.

“I thought we talked about this.” Mew said with an annoyed tone as he took a step in but then he turned back again. “Come on—get in.” He looked at Gulf, pointing inside with his head.

“We didn’t, you talked about it.” His mom said as they both stood up.

“This way.” Mew said to Gulf as he led the way and younger was kind of distracted since he didn’t expect him to act like this to his parents, he didn’t even got what was happening, so he just followed him.

“Mew, we just wanted to meet and—“

“This will be your room for now, we can talk about it later.” Mew said, completely ignoring his mom who followed them upstairs.

“Can we please—“

“Get in, take a shower and sleep.”

Gulf got surprised when the guy pushed him inside from his shoulder and shut the door.He was still standing in front of the door, blinking while staring at the door.

“I told you to not come!”

“But we were excited! We wanted this to happen for years!”

“And I said he is already not feeling well, mom! Why aren’t you listening me?”

“We just wanted to make sure that—“

“That I wasn’t lying? Yes, he is here—I’m not lying and my dad must’ve contacted the doctor already.So please give him some time before acting like this.”

Their voices got further away as they walked downstairs and Gulf kept standing like that for a while.After couple of minutes he turned around, he didn’t even take a look at the room, he really didn’t care.He just spotted a bed and approached, slowly layed down on it.

His eyes seemed like they lost their sparkle, he was feeling like a toy whose battery ran out.Even when he was in Area C, living in there while knowing anything wrong could happen, someone could actually take him, he never felt like this.He always stayed wide awake, he wanted to protect those kids cause nobody was doing it.But even then, he never thought about this happening; him, getting impregnated.Cause he would never want it, never.

He could handle with the beat, hunger, humiliation, even rape.He did.

But how he was supposed to handle with this?

His mind was completely blank, he was tired of thinking, it felt like his brain didn’t allow him to think further when his eyes got closed and he finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your opinions please!!! Quarantine updates, praying for everything to get better,  
> for all of us <3


	5. The Soft Breeze

**_“Night is a time of rigor, but also of mercy. There are truths which one can see only when it’s dark.”_ **

  
_― Isaac Bashevis Singer_

_-_

Gulf opened his eyes slowly when he heard few knocks on the door.

“Hey? Can I come in?” He heard Mew asking from the other side of the door but he closed his eyes again, not even moving as he kept laying on bed like that.He was still clothed, didn’t take a bath, didn’t get under the covers, he was just laying there like that.

Mew opened the door quietly and sighed, but Gulf still didn’t turn around or say anything.

“I’m sorry.” Mew said and it caused Gulf to open his eyes, but he was still not facing the older.The room was now darker and he saw the moonlight coming from outside, they were on the 15th floor of a building so it felt like Gulf could actually reach the moon.

“I’m sorry I—I don’t know what I was thinking.” Mew kept talking in a low tone, Gulf was still looking at the moon and not moving as the older sounded really uneasy. “I shouldn’t have say those things, I shouldn’t have—think them.” He said, he was being completely honest cause after his parents left he realized that he was actually acting like his parents, and he didn’t like it.For all this time he blamed everyone who were responsible for Area C, but he really said all those things to Gulf in the car.

“It’s…-- you don’t have to do anything for anyone, I’m sorry.” He repeated, but Gulf wasn’t really interested.His mind was too messed up to make a talk or actually sit down and think.

“I will find a way for the abortion.”

Gulf blinked for few times before turning his face to the man, quickly getting straightened up.

“What?” He asked, his voice coming out really hoarse.

“I was..---I don’t know what I was thinking, I never liked these kind of people and I actually tried to do the same to you..I..—“ He sighed, Gulf saw how displeased he seemed and he kept looking at the man when Mew crouched down in front of the bed and looked back at him.

“I meant it when I said we can be friends.” He said after a while. “I will help you with the abortion.”

“But—“ Gulf furrowed his eyebrows. “—They won’t let me—“

“You will tell them that I forced you.”

“What?” Gulf got even more confused.

“Look—I can help you about the abortion, you can have the operation secretly but they will eventually learn it and they will punish you for that.If we make a story which I’m the one who doesn’t want the baby, it will be fine.” He looked at younger. “At least you will have some time to…prepare yourself---your mindset—anything.” He shook his head. “You don’t want it right now, you are not ready.”

Gulf just kept staring at him, he could understand what Mew meant.If he would have an abortion with a fake story like that, they would just put him back in the Area C and just like Mew said he could have a proper match and more time to get himself ready.Not getting raped and almost killing himself like this.

“But…” Gulf mumbled after some time, it seemed like they were both just thinking and it was all quiet.

“Let’s just—“ Mew suddenly stood up and patted on younger’s arm gently. “—take you to your mom.”

“What?” Gulf tilted his head, looking at him with surprised eyes. “Right now?—Isn’t it late?” He asked cause he had no idea what time it was.”

“You don’t need someone like me right now.” Mew said with a sad smile, he seemed like he was really ashamed for the things he said cause he felt like he was also pushing younger to stay in this, like everyone else. “—You need your mother.” He smiled, grabbing the doorknob and looking back at Gulf.

“I will hand you some of my clothes—come on.” He pointed with his head and waited until younger got up from the bed.He seemed hesitant but he still followed Mew to his room.

“You are too skinny but I think---these will do.” He mumbled while searching for something in his closet and Gulf stood in front of the door weirdly.He was looking around, the room was big but it was so empty.The whole house was the same so it wasn’t surprising.It was all white and everything seemed so expensive, but it was dull.

“You can change here—“ Mew said, passing by him an stepping out of the room before looking at him weirdly. “Should I—wait here or go to the car?” He pointed at his back, not knowing what to do.

“You can wait here.” Gulf answered and Mew nodded before leaving the boy alone.

Gulf looked at the white t-shirt which seemed much bigger than his size and sighed.He took of the ones he also borrowed from Mew and put on the black track pants with the t-shirt.He folded the old ones and placed them on Mew’s bed, he was about to leave when his eyes landed on the wall mirror.He stopped and looked at himself for a while, he knew he was skinny but he seemed like a skeleton in Mew’s clothes.His face looked so pale, he could see the difference since he used to have a little bit darker skin than others.

He ran his fingers inside his hair, realizing how long it got before taking a last look and rubbing his face.

He then walked out.

It was actually 4 a.m. and Gulf was a bit speechless since he never thought Mew would take him to his mother at that hour.Streets were completely empty except few cars they saw from time to time and suddenly Gulf felt lighter.Like really, he let out a sigh without actually realizing when he leaned his head on the back of the seat and looked outside.It was the first time he actually saw around instead of just looking, he actually felt like he was out of that place.

Mew didn’t say anything, he just drove the car and stole few glances as the boy kept looking outside and feeling the breeze hitting his face, playing with his long locks.

“Take this.” Mew said after stopping the car in front of the place Gulf lead him to. “I didn’t have time to get you a phone, I will get myself a new one tomorrow and call you—so you can save the number.” He said as he handed younger his own phone and Gulf just blinked, nodding and holding the phone.He tried to remember how long it had been since he held his own phone.

“I’m sorry.” Mew repeated and it caused younger to look at him. “I really am, Gulf.” Mew said. “I wish I could do some more—for everyone but..—you don’t have to think about anything, just spend some time with your mother and I will try to handle the rest.” He said with a small nod and Gulf looked at him for a while, not saying anything but just nodding back before getting out of the car.

He had to walk for a while before reaching the house, like 30 steps or less, but that walk felt so special.It was still dark and the neighbourhood was completely quiet.The soft breeze welcomed him as he took few steps and he felt even lighter, it was the first time he was walking alone like this, 30 steps or less, it didn’t matter.He was out of that place, he didn’t have to hide, he was able to walk all alone in that hour and knock on his mother’s door himself.

“Gulf?—Is everything alright?” His mom seemed terrified as she quickly scanned him from head to toe but Gulf smiled, shaking his head.

“I’m okay, I just wanted to stay with you.”

“But—“ She seemed confused for a second but Gulf’s smile disappeared and he tilted his head after taking a good look at his mother.

“You were not sleeping?” He realized since her face seemed really awake.

“Just come in, honey.” She said and Gulf nodded, feeling bad as he realized his mother was busy with thinking.He looked outside before closing the door and saw Mew’s car still staying there.

He stood there for a while and then slowly raised his hand, waving his hand a little.It was actually so dark and he didn’t even know if Mew could see him.He just wanted to, it was a gesture to thank him, for his sincerity.

**_-_ **

“I’m sorry.” Gulf said as he looked up at his mom.He was on his couch after years, laying down and having his head on his mother’s lap.

“For what, dear?” She asked softly and Gulf closed his eyes for few seconds as she caressed his hair.

“For making you worried..For—everything.” He said. “I wasn’t supposed to be like this, I’m sorry.” He repeated as he closed his eyes tightly, feeling embarrassed to be a fertile.He knew his mother could have an easy life, not worrying about him every single day if Gulf wasn’t a fertile.

She just sighed like she knew what he was meaning and kept caressing his face and hair gently.

“I never told you but..I cried so hard that night, when we learnt that you were a fertile.” She suddenly said and Gulf got surprised, he opened his eyes and stared at his mother as she kept stroking his hair.He knew she got sad and probably cried, he didn’t get surprised about that but he never thought she would actually tell him that. “I was so upset, so heartbroken on a point that..I can’t even explain.” She looked down at him with a soft smile. “I knew about the Area C, I knew how hard it would be, I knew we would have to get separated, but it wasn’t the thing which made me so heartbroken.” She paused a little, like she was actually remembering that day. “I’m your mother, I know everything about you, I can tell your thoughts from the way you breathe.” She looked at him in a different way and Gulf gulped, moving a little without noticing since he got nervous for lying to her about Mew. “I knew you could handle it, you would be able to come back to here even it was so hard.” She smiled. “I know you, I raised you.” She cupped his cheek and Gulf quickly leaned against her touch.He missed her so bad and he was feeling awful for not showing his face to her for years but he knew he wouldn’t be able to survive in there if he would see his mom.

“I was so sad cause… it was a thing to be happy.” She said and Gulf looked at him with confusion in his eyes. “We should’ve be happy about the news, we should celebrate it, you should’ve smile instead of frowning like it was the worst thing that ever happened to you---We should’ve been happy when we found out that you were a fertile, dear.” She caressed his cheek lovingly. “Tell me, how do you feel?” She asked while looking into his eyes and Gulf knew what she meant, she meant the thing he couldn’t even say it loud and it caused him to close his eyes tightly, frowning before hiding his face against to her stomach.

“No, no Gulf—“

“I don’t want it mom, I can’t—“ He mumbled against to her clothes but she kept caressing his hair softly.

“It’s okay honey…-It’s fine.” She said soothingly but Gulf kept shaking his head against her. “Gulf—“

“No, mom—I can’t.” He tried to keep his face hidden when his mother was trying to see him.But she finally managed to make him look at her and Gulf looked up at her with his teary eyes, he wasn’t the troublemaker in the Area C anymore cause this was his home, it was his mom and he was just so tired of pretending.

“I can’t.” He repeated, not even being able to say the thing loud, not even accepting the ‘thing’ inside him as he looked at his mom like he was hoping for her to see it.But he was puzzled when she grabbed his hand and placed it on his stomach.He quickly tried to pull it back after realizing but she held his hand tightly, right on his stomach.

“Mom no—“

“Gulf, look at me.”

“No—I just—“

“Gulf.” She caressed his forehead with her other hand. “You can fool everyone, even yourself---but not me.” She smiled softly. “You don’t hate it as much as you keep saying.”

“No, I didn’t want it—“

“A part of you did.” She quickly said, knowing it wouldn’t happen if Gulf didn’t want it.

“I don’t know how it happened.” Gulf shook his head, not acting all mad or panicked as before since it was just him and his mom now. “I have no idea—but I know that—mom.” He looked at him when he tried to pull his hand away again but she forced her to keep it on his stomach.

“You think it’s a curse that ruined your life, I know that everyone thinks like that, I know everyone acted like it was a curse in there.I can’t even imagine what you have been through.” She stroked his locks. “But it’s not a curse honey, it’s a gift.”

“But I don’t want it.” He repeated and his mom gave him the same look as the times whenever she thought he was lying.

“Do you really think it’s that easy? I’m a woman and I cried for days after learning I was pregnant to you.” She chuckled, looking at her confused son. “I always knew you were gonna be an amazing father, Gulf.Better than your father, for sure.” She chuckled again.

“Mom—“

“Stay like this for tonight, alright?” She said as she patted on his hand, meaning his hand on his stomach. “Let me get some blankets, I think sleeping in the living room is a great idea.” She smiled before getting up and leaving him alone.

Gulf’s eyes found his own hand which was resting against his stomach and he quickly closed his eyes.But it didn’t help, he wanted to pull his hand away but he knew his mom would make him do it again, so he didn’t.

It felt really weird, his palm rested against his flat stomach for the whole night.Gulf was always a a good boy, he was the mama’s boy, the smart and hardworking son of the neighbor everyone always mentioned.His mother was the most important person to him, so he kept holding his hand on his stomach even after she fell asleep.

It was already bright outside when Gulf finally closed his eyes.He was finally home and it took a lot of weight from his shoulders.

-

Mew didn’t call him the next day, actually he got a new phone already but he still felt awful about the was he put more pressure on younger and wanted to leave him alone with his mother even if it was for a short time.

After two days the phone finally buzzed and that was when Gulf remembered the phone he left on the table.

_“It’s ready, I will pick you up tomorrow.Good night.”_

He read Mew’s text with a straight face and kept staring at the screen as he sat on the couch.Actually he expected Mew to back off since it had been two days, maybe he was just trying to gain his trust and he would just say that he couldn’t find a way.But Mew didn’t, he said it was ready.

Gulf sighed before putting the phone down.He spent the day in house, not really going out but mostly staying on the couch.He didn’t want to stay in his room since being with his mother made him feel really better.After that very very late night talk, his mom never brought that topic up again.They were just being their usual-selves, his mother was updating him about the series he used to like and telling him everything he missed, mostly the gossips which made Gulf laugh loudly.It was really relaxing, being at home instead of somewhere else and just having his mother smiling like that.

The next day he took a shower before wearing a pair of his own clothes instead of Mew’s.They also seemed big on him since he used to be a little chubby, but right now he wasn’t even close to that.He could see the look in his mother’s eyes, she also noticed but she chose to not say it loud; but Gulf see it from the way she always tried to stuff something inside his mouth.

“Hey.” Mew smiled kindly when she opened the door, it was early in the morning and Gulf felt really home as he heard the birds chirping.

“Oh—hey---Gulf! Mr.Suppasit is here—Why don’t you come in?” She panicked and Mew just put his hands in air, smiling gently and shaking his head.

“It’s okay—you can call me Mew.” He bowed his head. “We have an appointment, we need to hurry up.” He reasoned since she invited him in.

“Appointment?” She got confused but turned to Gulf as the younger appeared. “You guys are going to doctor? For check-up on the baby?” Her eyes glowed so quickly and a smile appeared on her lips which caused Gulf to stand there, he couldn’t just lie to her face when she was looking at him with hopeful eyes.

“Yes—for check-up.” Mew quickly said after realizing Gulf’s situation.

“We need to go—“ Gulf hugged her since he didn’t want to keep seeing her eyes, she seemed really happy about it. “Take good care of yourself.” He said as he hugged her tightly before letting go.He was about to follow Mew who bowed his head down to the woman again but stopped when she grabbed his arm.

“Gulf—“ She said and Mew also stopped, looking back at them. “Whatever you decide, I’m still here.” She smiled and caressed his wrist. “But make sure that you won’t regret it.” She said before giving his arm a soft stroke and Mew looked away after gulping, she actually knew they were lying.

Gulf just nodded and they walked to the car.

It was another quiet car ride, nobody said a thing.Gulf followed him when Mew stopped in front of a building and lead the way, they didn’t talk to each other before Mew went to talk to someone.The doctor was his friend and Gulf knew he probably set up things to not put his friend in fire cause he would get it really hard for ending a pregnancy like that.

“Are you ready?” The other guy asked, it was the first time someone directly asked a thing to Gulf and he just nodded as the doctor guy turned back at the documents.

“Are you okay?” He felt Mew’s hand on his back and turned at him.He was about to say that he is fine, but he actually saw the sincerity Mew showed to him so he just shook his head no.

He was nervous as fuck.

Mew sighed at his reaction like he was expecting it.But Gulf wasn’t expecting it when the guy wrapped his arm around of his shoulder loosely and gave him a short hug.

“Don’t be afraid, everything’s gonna be okay.” He patted on younger’s shoulder softly. “I will be waiting here.”

“Come on, let’s go.” The doctor said and Gulf nodded after gulping, following him to another room.He looked back before going in and saw Mew actually following them, he wasn't going to come inside but instead of waiting in that room he actually came up till there.

Gulf looked at him for the last time before a nurse shut the door. 


	6. First Month

_"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."_

_**– Walter Winchell** _

_**-** _

Mew settled himself on a chair, the whole corridor was completely empty since his friend took them to another floor with only one nurse beside him.He took a deep breath and let it out before intertwining his fingers.He was moving his feet unconsciously, he didn't show it to younger but he was too nervous about this.He really didn't want him to have an abortion, he wished younger would take his offer instead but after that night he realized he was doing the thing he hated the most.Gulf didn't want it, it was that simple; he didn't want it and he shouldn't have get forced to do it.That was the thing Mew defended for all these years so he had to take this step instead of forcing younger to keep up with his plan.

But still,  
he didn't like this all.

Gulf was going to go back to Area C after this and Mew knew there were a little amount of people who was thinking like him.So it was possible for him to get raped again, or worse, forced to get matched with someone horrible.

He didn't know the boy that well, they didn't spent a long time together but it was obvious; Gulf was so young, his fiery eyes was trying to hide the vulnerable side inside him and Mew could see the way he got scared.He could remember the look he had when he saw his mother and it was enough to confirm that Mew was right about the boy.

He knew Gulf didn't deserve to go back there and experience everything all over again.  
But he also knew he had no right to force him.

So he was moving his feet and hands like crazy and staring at the floor.

He got surprised and furrowed his eyebrows when the door opened all of sudden, it had been only 10 minutes or a little more.

"What's wrong?" He got alarmed and quickly stood up but his friend shook his head.

"Nothing is wrong, calm down." He quickly said after seeing the way Mew went too scared. "I think you should have a talk." He said as he gave Mew a look, pointing inside while Mew was looking at him confusedly.

"I will be waiting in the room." He patted on Mew's shoulder and he watched his friend leaving with the nurse who gave him a warm smile.

He opened the door slowly and spotted Gulf on the stretcher.

"What's wrong?" He asked, closing the door after him and walking closer to the boy who was wearing a hospital gown now.But his alarmed mode came back when he heard Gulf sniffling.

"Hey—what's wrong?" His tone quickly softened as he sat beside the boy and tilted his head.

"I don't know I..—this is so fucked up." Gulf chuckled angrily and Mew saw him wiping his tears.Older one felt like someone actually squeezed his heart really hard when the skinny boy looked at him all of sudden.He seemed really pale and his face wasn't angry or anything, he seemed so raw with his bambi-like eyes shining with tears.

"I don't want this, P'." He said with his shaky voice while looking at him and Mew let out a sigh, he was relieved. "I don't want to do this but—I don't want the other way either, I just...don't know what to do anymore." He said and was about to continue, but he got startled when Mew wrapped his arm around of his back and pulled him into a loose hug.

"It's okay." Mew said. "It's okay, you don't have to do it."

"But then I..." Gulf sniffled again, remembering his mother's words. "I'm not sure about the other way either, I just want all of this to end." He said the last sentence in a lower tone and Mew quickly pulled away from the hug after realizing younger was really close to have another breakdown.

"No no—look at me." He grabbed his forearms. "I will be here, I will help you—We will pull this off, you are gonna be alright." He said, his tone was obviously different from earlier and his face seemed happy.

"I promise, I will be here---like a brother, okay?" He said with a smile and Gulf just looked down as the older patted the back of his hair. "It's okay, it's okay." He repeated with a smile before pulling Gulf to another hug cause younger seemed really adorable like that, he was obviously sad and not wanting it but he also didn't want to have an abortion.

This was enough to make Mew keep going.

"Can we just..—" Gulf said while pulling away from the hug. "—get out of here? I hate hospitals." Mew chuckled as he watched younger wiping his face and trying to get himself together.

"Change into your clothes and let's go—I don't like it either." He said as his eyes landed on the stretcher, imagining the other scenario could have happen and feeling relieved.

"Why are you so happy about it?" Gulf looked at him with his furrowed eyebrows when they were in the car, cause Mew was obviously smiling while driving.

"Well---why not?" He looked at him as his smile got bigger.

"It has nothing to do with you and—"

"No, no." Mew quickly shook his head. "First of all, you better stop saying that cause it's about us." He stole a glance. "From now on it's not just you, we are in this together."

Gulf just sighed and kept looking outside through the window.

"Did you always want a brother or something?"

"How did you know?!" Mew asked excitedly, obviously playing and it caused Gulf to roll his eyes. "I always wanted one but my mom didn't get pregnant after me, so I'm all alone." He made a sad face in the end.

"Hey!" Mew hit his arm with his elbow after seeing him frowning. "Stop thinking already. It will be fine—it will be like having a roommate!"

"Oh God." Gulf face palmed.

"Come on! Hey- hey—" Mew kept nudging him playfully but the boy didn't respond as he kept making roommate jokes.

"Where are we going?" Gulf asked after realizing they were not going to Mew's house.

"Your home." Mew answered. "I thought you would want to get your things, you know." He said and Gulf just nodded, he knew Mew actually wanted to take him back there because of his mother and it was such a thoughtful thing.

"Thank you." He said but Mew quickly grimaced and shook his hand.

"Don't make me feel awful, just demand things, it's okay." He said in a playful tone again and Gulf sighed before rolling his eyes.Mew seemed really happy to see him changing his mind and actually it was so strange.Cause Mew wasn't a character in his story, yet he was trying too hard to put things on the right way.

"Hey mom." Gulf smiled as the woman opened the door pretty quick. "I came to—"

"I know." She gave him a warm smile before opening the door wider and Mew got surprised, cause she already packed his stuff. "I knew you would come." She said before giving him a hug and Mew just smiled when she looked at him.

"It will be okay." She said, caressing his cheek before turning at Mew. "Can I have your phone number?"

"Oh—of course." Mew quickly took a step closer. "Can you call her?" He handed his phone to Gulf and the boy nodded before doing as he said.

"We will text you his new number, the phone is in the car." He smiled as he pointed at the car and she nodded.

"Thank you." She said to Mew and he quickly bowed, knowing the meaning behind her words.

"Then I will take these to the car—" He said weirdly as he grabbed few bags and Gulf quickly did the same.

"I will call you, don't worry." He smiled at his mom to reassure her. "And don't go to bed late." He raised his eyebrows, knowing his mom was still worried about him.

"Don't worry about me, just focus on yourself." She gave him a pat on the shoulder and watched them going to the car.Her hand was resting on her chest after she waved at Gulf and looked at the car going away.She mumbled a prayer while looking at the now empty road, hoping her son would smile soon.Cause it had been so long since she saw him smiling for real.

_**-** _

First days were kind of strange, their breakfasts were a bit quiet and mostly Gulf chose to stay in his room.The room Mew gave to him was no different than the other rooms, it was mostly white, there was a bed, small closet and a bathroom for only him.He kind of liked the window since it was really big and because of being that high, the view was fascinating.Gulf used to live in Area X but his town was nowhere like this, obviously Mew's surname was one of the most known surnames in their country so it wasn't surprising for him to live in this environment.

But one day Mew knocked on his door and asked him if he wanted to go to market with him.Gulf didn't go out that much since he came back and it was weird to be inside a market again.He tried to not make it obvious but he was feeling strange.Mew bumped against to his shoulder and dragged him to the snacks.Gulf didn't really buy anything, sometimes he just said 'yes' or 'no' to the things Mew pointed at, that was all.But after that day they started to spend more time together, Mew was actually a good kind of guy he would be friends with.So it wasn't that hard to approach him.Older would simply knock on his door and ask him if he wanted to go out, or what he wanted to eat, would he like to watch something, would he like to play games? Mew was obviously trying to spend time together and he wasn't actually trying to hide it either, he was mostly joking about being roommates and Gulf wasn't so positive and smiley like him but he didn't say no either, he just let him lead the way cause staying in his room all alone was making him think, and he didn't want to do that.So he kept sticking with Mew instead.

It got better when Mild visited.He was a funny guy and the fact that both of them were completely ignoring the fact that Gulf was actually pregnant was the most important thing.Cause it actually caused him to forget it too.After the first awkward days it got better, Mew was always at home and when Gulf asked if he didn't need to go to work he said it could wait until he gets used to his roommate, made Gulf snort again.

"Not like that!"

"No no---I made it!" Mew hold the pan proudly after flipping the omelette and Gulf face palmed.

"You were about to drop it!"

"But I didn't." He grinned and Gulf just grabbed the plates, after few weeks he was starting to learn which thing was in which drawer.

"I like it more when it's—" he suddenly grimaced and covered his mouth.

"What?" Mew turned at him but before he could understand what was happening the boy rushed to the trash bin.

"Oh." Mew mumbled and stared at younger like he just remembered he was actually pregnant.It was the first time he threw up.

"I'm sorry I—" Gulf tried but Mew quickly handed him a paper towel.

"It's fine, I will get rid of it." He grabbed the trash bin, taking it away.

"Damn it—I think I should go to bathroom." Gulf mumbled as his hand found his mouth again and he rushed to the bathroom.Mew followed him after a while, he was holding a glass of water when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

"How are you, dad?" He answered the call, stepping inside the bathroom and finding the boy sitting on the floor.He handed the glass to the pale boy but Gulf leaned down again, throwing up as Mew looked at him worriedly.

"Oh—yes I know---I know dad—" He kept talking, standing there with the glass. "I know." He sighed. "I will call you later." He said before hanging up.

"Are you okay?" He looked at the boy who seemed really exhausted and was leaning his head against the wall.

"No." Gulf answered, he was still grimacing as he took the glass and drank it all.

"It's been a month." Mew said softly and Gulf just closed his eyes. "My dad was insisting about taking you for check up but I said you needed some time."

Gulf looked at him with that.

"But I think we should go now." He said and it caused Gulf to sigh, a sulk appearing on his face in seconds.

"Hey! Don't do that." Mew crouched down.He knew Gulf was getting moody every time they talked about the real deal, but it needed to happen soon. "We will just go, check on the ba—make sure everything is fine," he quickly stopped himself when he was about to use the baby word. "—we will get some information, we don't even know what's gonna happen, right?" He tried, nudging younger's shoulder.

"Come on."

"P!"

"Come ooonn!" Gulf was whining but Mew didn't mind him, grabbed his arm and dragged him to his room.

"You can call your mother if you want, we can wait." Mew said when they were walking inside the hospital.He would actually call her but since he gave Gulf a phone, he thought younger would do it.But she wasn't there.

"It's fine." Gulf said, obviously didn't call her.

Mew just nodded, realizing he didn't want his mother to see him like that.Gulf was still not okay with all of this, and he probably didn't want his mother to see him upset like that.

"Stop being so stupid!" A guy yelled all of sudden and most of the people looked at him, he was passing right beside Mew and Gulf so it caught their attention too.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." A poor looking boy said, it was so obvious that he was a fertile since his goddamn belly was in a shape to make Gulf stop breathing for a second, thinking about himself.

"Don't be sorry!" He suddenly slapped the boy's shoulder and Gulf's eyes widened.

"The hell are you doing?! Huh?!" He pushed the guy hard by his shoulders, placing himself in front of the smaller one.

"Gulf!" Mew quickly followed him.

"Can't you see that he is fucking pregnant, you dickhead?!" Gulf tried to approach him again but Mew grabbed him tight and didn't let it happen.

"Gulf---Calm down."

"Who the fuck are you?" The guy looked at him. "I do whatever I want, it's my toy—mind your own business."

"Your what?---Let me go—P'Mew!"

"What's happening here?"

"Oh—where were you guys when a pregnant fucking guy was getting abused?! Why do you only appear when others are involved?!" Gulf roared at the security guards, he was trying hard to get rid of Mew's grasp and punch one of them; the asshole guy, one of the guards or one of the ones who kept watching and did nothing.But Mew was stronger than him and he just couldn't punch him either.Yes he did it before but now they were friends and even he was looking at him with fiery eyes, threatening him to let him go, he still couldn't punch the older to get away.

"Please calm down, you can't shout in here." One of the guys said as they pulled the other guy away, he wasn't actually trying to attack Gulf anyway.He seemed surprised about someone interrupting him, it probably didn't happen before.

"I can't shout?!" Gulf shouted at his face. "I can't shout but he can abuse someone pregnant?! Is that it?!"

"Gulf!"

"What?!" He turned at Mew. "What are we?! Your goddamn slaves?!" He yelled angrily, turning at others who were watching the whole scene in the middle of the hospital. "When did you all become this blind?!"

"You need to calm down and—"

"Don't fucking touch me." Gulf quickly pulled his arm away when the security guy grabbed it.

"We have to take you out, please don't make us—"

"What do you think you are doing?" Mew suddenly grabbed the guy's hand when he was about to touch Gulf again.

"Mr.Suppasit, you might come in now." The girl said in the middle of the mess and it caused the security guy to take a step back.

"I'm sorry sir, I was just trying to—"

Gulf snorted, having a disgusted look on his face since he changed his attitude right after learning who he was.

"Take him out first." Mew said in a steady tone, pointing at the one Gulf wanted to punch.

"Is he gonna leave like that?! He is not treating him right and—" Gulf pointed at them while two security guards were escorting the two out.

"You need to stop yelling." Someone said and Mew turned his head, seeing his father was actually there. "Get inside, now." He demanded, everyone was looking at them and he really gave an order in that tone.

"I'm not a dog." Gulf said, he didn't move an inch but he didn't yell at him either.Everybody was obviously aware of the power he held, the atmosphere quickly changed.

"I can't say that I'm surprised." He said to Mew as he walked closer to them. "Of course you had to choose a problematic one to annoy me." He said and Gulf was about to talk when he felt Mew tugging on his wrist.

"Actually..—he was the one who chose me." Mew said in a calm tone. "Weird, right?" He smiled at the guy who was watching them with curious eyes like others.

"I said get in, now." His father looked at Gulf again, demanding in a harsh tone.

"Dad." Mew answered instead of Gulf and honestly younger was kind of surprised at his tone since they had an audience and he didn't think Mew would go against his father like that.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not here to fight." His dad said, obviously them having fights were usual.Gulf could imagine it since Mew's personality was really different from the others in Area X. "I just want to get updated about my grandson, that's the most normal wish, right?" He said and it caused Gulf to close his eyes, sighing slowly.

"Come on." The elder opened the door, even the doctor inside seemed really stiff, nobody was actually breathing after he made an appearance, except Mew.

"He is going alone." Mew said all of sudden and Gulf looked at him. "It's about him, his body, his kid." He said while looking at his father, who was still standing in front of the door.

"He is going alone or we are going back home." Mew added, knowing his father wouldn't back off easily.But his father also knew him, Mew always caused problems, didn't get along well with others and it took years to convince him to go to Area C to find a match.

"Okay, fine." He smiled, putting both of his hands in the air before walking away from the door. "I will just wait." He sat down on one of the chairs casually like others were not looking at him with scared eyes.

"It's fine." Mew mumbled to Gulf. "Go in." He said as he patted on his back.

It wasn't actually a big deal since Gulf realized his family would be pushing, they were waiting for a grandson all this time and their opinions about fertile ones were obviously different than Mew.So he was expecting them being there as he got examined like a lab rat, but he wasn't expecting Mew to resist like this.

He just nodded and walked in, closed the door on the faces of the curious ones.

"I told you to not to come, dad." Mew said as he sat beside his father.

"And I didn't say I wouldn't."

His answer made Mew sigh.

"I did what you want, we made a deal."

"Yes, I said that I wouldn't intervene with the way you treat your match and I'm not." He looked at him innocently.

"You are, you can't give him orders like that." Mew glared at his father.

"It wasn't an order, I asked nicely."

"Dad—" He was about to keep grumbling when the door opened again.

"P'Mew."

Mew quickly turned his head as he saw Gulf poking his head out of the slightly opened door.

"What's wrong?" Mew looked at him with a frown.

"Can you come in?" Gulf asked in a low tone, which caused Mew to stare at him for few seconds but then he got what younger meant.

"So you are allowed but I'm not?"

"Dad." Mew looked at his father after the comment but he just shrugged.

"P'?" Gulf asked again.

"Oh—I'm coming." Mew quickly stood up and walked in, closing the door afterwards.

"Is it your first time?" The doctor smiled at Gulf who was standing in front of the door weirdly.

"Yeah—he didn't see---the—thing you know?" Mew mumbled, pointing at his own stomach, still trying to not use the baby word even though they were about to see him.

"It's only a month old, so you are just gonna see a little dot." He joked, but Mew and Gulf were not in the mood for laughing.

"Gulf." He nudged younger's shoulder when the doctor looked at them, cause he was waiting for younger to lay down but he was still standing beside Mew.

"Okay..—yes." Gulf mumbled, more to himself before scratching his nose, coughing for few times as he approached the stretcher slowly.

This was gonna be difficult, Mew thought.


	7. Little Drops

_"Your good deeds might seem invisible,_

_but they leave a trail that is imprinted on the hearts of others."_

**_-_ **

"No, no—I can't." Gulf said after getting close to the stretcher, which caused him to turn his back at it quickly.

"Hey—hey." Mew quickly stood in front of him when younger tried to walk towards the door.The doctor was watching his with surprised eyes since he saw all the drama from before and he was actually curious about what was happening.Cause usually nobody allowed the fertile ones to be this free, some people were really nice to them but still the way this boy created a mess like few minutes ago wasn't really common.

"God..." Gulf covered his face with his hands and sighed, obviously having issues again.

"Gulf—it will be fine." Mew grabbed the boy's arms as he stepped closer. "Let's just make it quick, okay? You will feel so much better after it's done." He said in a soft tone and it caused Gulf to pull his hands away from his face to look at him.Older could see how disturbed he was, he really didn't want it and he was literally begging Mew with his eyes.

"Sooner is better." Mew raised his eyebrows as he looked at Gulf. "Let's make it quick and find something to eat." He rubbed the boy's arm softly and after another deep sigh, Gulf just nodded.He knew he had to do this, now or later, he had to.

His mind stopped working when he layed down, he didn't even realize it when the doctor put some gel on him.He was staring right at the ceiling, one part of him still denied the fact that he was actually carrying a live inside him but other part was kind of curious.Out of nowhere he started to feel curious after laying down on that stretcher.But still he didn't even take a glance at the monitor, he focused on the ceiling.

"Everything seems fine for now." The doctor said after few minutes and Gulf just gulped, straightening up when he handed him a paper towel. "But you seem unhealthy, I checked the other results they sent before you came and---" he suddenly looked at Mew instead of the boy. "He is not even on his ideal weight and during pregnancy he needs to gain even more than that."

Gulf saw Mew nodding with a serious face, like he knew the doctor was gonna bring this up.But he didn't say anything, he was the damn main character in the room but he still denied, so he wiped his stomach before pulling his shirt down again.

"I'm going to be honest with you since you seem like you are already having difficulties." He said while looking at Gulf. "The next 3 months will be really rough since your body needs to create some space for the baby, cause you are not a woman and half of this process will be about your body actually recognizing this." He kept explaining and Gulf just listened quietly, not saying or asking anything. "For now let's not scare you more." He smiled, realizing his stiff face and thinking about the actions from before, this boy's situation was obviously more complicated than others. "I will only say that since your fertile side showed itself really late, it will be more difficult for your body to get ready for this.Morning sickness are gonna start, they can be a little much—" he looked at Mew with that. "Don't worry about it, since he is a rare one, symptoms can be tougher than the normal ones.That's why you need to visit me a lot, just to be sure." He turned at Gulf again. "You will get used to it after the first few times, I'm not that scary." He smiled before rolling his chair back to the monitor.

"It's yours." He handed the ultrasound to Gulf but the boy didn't even take a glance at it, he kept his eyes on the doctor as he tried to not look down.

"Thank you." Mew quickly took it, pushing it inside his back pocket in a heartbeat. "Is there any kind of medicine he needs to take? In case if it gets bad?" He asked and the other guy shook his head.

"No, for now we just need to wait and see.It might not be bad as we thought." He answered as he stood up. "But I think he should take some vitamins, it will be an extra problem if he doesn't get on his ideal weight." He repeated and Mew nodded, already knowing how important that was.The boy seemed better after leaving Area C but he was still too thin even though Mew was literally creating excuses to make them eat a lot.It was probably because of stress and Mew didn't know how to stop him from stressing out since the boy tend to do it in every 5 minutes.

"So?" Mew's dad quickly stood up as he saw them walking out. "Everything's fine?" He raised his eyebrows and Mew sighed.

"Yes." He answered, walking closer to his father. "You are make him feel uncomfortable, he is feeling stressed and him being in distress means your grandson not doing well." He said in a lower tone to not let Gulf hear it, the boy was already keeping his distance from them anyway.

"Calm down." He remained calm before looking at Gulf across Mew's shoulders. "I hope everything goes well." He said, looking at his son again. "Don't mess it up." He said to Mew and caused him to roll his eyes.

"Let's go---next time let's call each other before meeting, dad." He said with a mean look but his dead just smiled, Mew knew he was so gonna meet that doctor and learn everything anyway.

"See? It's done, I told you it would be fast—well, there were few interruptions but still, I think it went well." Mew said when they were in the car and Gulf glared at him. "What? It could be worse." Mew puckered his lips before running the car.

That night Gulf was too quiet while they were eating, Mew thought it was normal since even sitting there and not losing his shit during the ultrasound was really big for him.So he didn't push him or asked questions.After few days he seemed back to the normal, he was really trying to get used to this and it made Mew feel good since he could see the boy wasn't trying to walk away like before.Yes, he still couldn't get himself collected for a while but it was better than before.

"Are you okay? Damn it—" Mew tried to open his eyes when he walked into the kitchen after hearing a loud crashing voice. "—are you okay?" He repeated cause the boy was standing too close to the sharp pieces on the ground.

"Yeah I just—I was trying to have some water." Gulf said in a very tiny tone, which caused Mew to quickly sober up.Cause it wasn't Gulf's usual tone, Mew realized the boy looked really pale when younger brushed his hair back in a nervous way. "Just go back to sleep Phi, I will---" He couldn't finish as it hit again and quickly covered his mouth.

Mew sighed, rubbing his face to get more awake as he walked closer to the boy who was holding the sides of the trash bin.

"How many times?" He asked softly as he stroked Gulf's back for few seconds.

"This was—the fifth." Gulf mumbled like he had no energy and Mew knew the reason.

"Why don't you---" He wanted to get mad at him and ask why he didn't wake Mew up.He was almost two months old and Mew kept telling him to call for him every time he needed a hand, but obviously younger was trying to deal with everything himself.

"Here---just go to sleep, I will clean up." He grabbed another glass and handed him some water instead of making that conversation cause the boy seemed really exhausted.

The following days were no better and Mew started to freak out when the boy didn't stop throwing up.He was already pale and tiny, taking out everything Mew tried so hard to make him eat wasn't doing him better.

"Oh—fuck."

Mew heard the boy grumbling and quickly stopped walking.He was going to check on him during the night since Gulf never actually woke him up and asked for help, but he got surprised after spotting younger in the living room.The lights were off and he was on the couch, sitting on his knees with a grimaced face.

"Offf—" Mew watched him whining in pain before younger leaned down and rested his arms on the couch.He was in a really weird position and the voices he made was enough to realize he was in pain.

"Hey." He said softly to not scare him and turned the lights on.

"Can you—turn it off?" Gulf's voice came out muffled since his head was hanging down and Mew turned it off, having a worried expression as he approached younger.

"What's wrong? Where does it hurt?" He asked, sitting beside him and only being able to see his face through the city lights.

"It just...feels like—it's stretching my insides." Gulf answered while sitting on his knees again, seeming really uncomfortable because of the pain.

Mew knew 'it' meant the baby, so he pressed his lips together before moving closer to younger and patting on his arm gently.

"Maybe taking a bath would be good, huh?" He offered. "They say hot water helps this kind of aches." He said but Gulf was grimacing in pain, his arms were wrapped around of his stomach when he shook his head no.

"I can't stand the light, my head is---so close to explode." He said and Mew got why the boy was talking in such a tiny tone, even his own voice was making him uncomfortable at the moment.

"I guess I have..." He mumbled, making his tone lower after hearing the boy was having a strong headache.He got up to check few drawers and smiled after finding what he was looking for. "--few candles." He showed them to the boy.

"You don't have to Phi, it will get better after--"

"I will get the tub ready then." Mew said before giving him a chance and went to younger's room, getting into his bathroom to get the water ready before putting candles on the counter.

He only turned on the next room's light to make it easier for them to come to his room again.Cause he knew Gulf never wanted to bother him, if his headache was on a normal level younger wouldn't even tell him that.

It was really heavy if Gulf was saying it loud.

"Thank you." Gulf mumbled and Mew smiled.

"Just stay in for a while and if that doesn't help we will think of something else." He patted on younger's back softly as Gulf nodded and walked in.

He was yawning when he sat on younger's bed.He was going to wait for him to come out since Gulf wouldn't actually wake him up if that bath wouldn't help, so he had to stay awake.But after few more minutes he dozed off.He didn't wake up until something hit his leg.It caused him to sigh before opening his eyes to look around.He realized that he slept on younger's bed and thought Gulf just came out of the bathroom.But when he saw how bright was the room, he got confused, it was already morning.

His eyes stopped moving and he didn't breathe for few seconds when he felt some movement beside him and then heard younger's whine as the boy squirmed on the bed.

He thought Gulf would wake him up or choose to sleep in the living room, so it caused him to pause for a moment.He knew they were not strangers like before, he actually cared about the boy and he also knew Gulf wasn't treating him like before.But he knew younger still didn't trust him that much, at least he trusted him enough to have him in the hospital room, that was enough for Mew.

He leaned on his elbows and looked down, seeing the thing touching his leg was Gulf's knee.That made him smile since the boy seem like he didn't have any problem with having Mew close, but his smile didn't stay long since Gulf kept grumbling in his sleep and switching positions.He slept peacefully after the bath but the pain was hitting again and he seemed really uncomfortable.

Mew slowly stood up, pulling the curtains to make the room dark again.He looked back at the bed and saw younger hugging his stomach like before, it really hurt enough to make him grimace during his sleep and Mew knew he was going to wake up soon if it would keep hurting like that.He called the doctor few days ago since Gulf wasn't telling him anything in detail and Mew was kind of worried.But the doctor said every fertile one went through that since their body wasn't convenient for carrying a baby, he said fertile ones were not special because they were functioning like women.They were special cause their body were accepting the evolving, it wasn't like they born to carry a child.That was why first months were mostly painful cause their whole body and insides were switching into another shape, trying to adapt to the baby.

After talking to him Mew relaxed a bit cause he was so close to drag Gulf to a hospital even though younger would probably pick another fight.

He quietly left the room and went downstairs, had to call his cleaner lady since he couldn't find the hot water bag.Few minutes later he was back in younger's room and now Gulf was literally curled into a ball, his arms were still around of his belly instinctively.Mew knew it was just because of the pain cause Gulf never touched around that area, like it would be accepting it.

He leaned down and placed the bag a little higher than his belly since the doctor said it would be fine unless they overuse it.Plus he made sure the water was not too hot but enough to ease his ache a bit.

He knew Gulf would actually wake up cause younger lived in Area C for too long and he wasn't really comfortable, he had to keep an eye open all the time.But he was so tired, too tired enough to just whine before hugging the bag.

Mew was about to leave when he realized the boy was pressing the bag too hard on his belly.He grabbed his wrist to stop him slowly but Gulf kept doing it, probably because the pain was too bad.

"No Gulf--you are gonna hurt the..." he stopped himself, didn't say the baby word when he sat on the bed and didn't let younger to press it hard on his belly.But Gulf groaned, squirming and opening his eyes with an unhappy expression.

"It hurts too much Phi." He said with a weak voice and it was the first time Mew felt that soft for the boy.Gulf was really younger than him but he always tried to act like he was much older than his current age.This was the first time Mew actually felt like he wanted to protect Gulf.

"I know, I'm sorry." He said softly after sighing and then reached to the boy's head, ruffling his half wet hair. "Do you want to see a doctor?" He asked but Gulf closed his eyes, shaking his head no as expected.

"Then don't press it too hard, it will help..--at least for a while, okay?" He said as he placed the hot bag carefully.Gulf didn't answer and he was obviously half awake, he probably didn't get much sleep because of the pain and it caused older to smile since Gulf seemed really different in this state.He would never thought the boy who screamed at others face in Area C like he wasn't afraid of anything, would look this cute.His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were pouty, he seemed like a little boy who was about to throw a tantrum because he didn't want to do something.

Mew's smile turned into a sad one after glancing at younger's stomach, seeing his thin arms wrapped around of his of stomach and holding the bag.He was really growing a baby inside him when he didn't even dare to use the 'baby' word for once.

He patted on Gulf's head gently before leaving the room, he decided to go out to find something to eat.He had to search for the things which would help this situation, lately younger was always in pain, he was exhausted and he kept throwing up.The doctor said he needed to get on his ideal weight and he didn't even seem close.

It was stressing Mew out.

He didn't want younger to feel like giving up again.

_'When will you come back to work?'_

He saw his father's text and sighed, it meant he wanted him back and if Mew would push it his father wouldn't stop bugging him until he turned back.So it was better to not force it.At least the guy really played with his rules and let him stay home for a while.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Gulf was looking at them with his confused eyes when Mew walked inside with his mom beside him.

"Oh god..--you seem even thinner, sweetheart. Are you okay?" She walked closer, scanning him from head to toe while Mew was busy with placing the bags on the floor since he bought a lot of things.

"I'm fine..---I just throw up a lot." He mumbled as he hugged his mother back. "Why are you here?" He asked again, looking at Mew and then his mother.

"I called him to ask if I could see you, he sent someone to drive me here." She answered, her hand caressing his son's hair as she kept checking him. "You really seem sick, honey."

"I think your cooking would make him feel better." Mew said with a smile before pointing at the bags. "Feel at home, please." He said kindly before pointing upstairs. "I need to take a shower and go to work."

Gulf raised his eyebrows at that.

"You are going back?"

Mew nodded.

"I might be late but your mom is already here, she should stay for few days since the drive is really long.It won't be worthy if she goes after few hours."

Gulf got surprised at that, looking at Mew while his eyes were asking if it was really fine.

"It's okay, don't think too much." Mew said with a smile. "Then I will let him to your hands." He turned at the woman and she smiled, nodding before Mew left to upstairs.

Gulf knew his family was one of the families who created the whole system, he also knew Mew was working under that community.They talked about it but Mew never gave too many details since he knew it would make younger uncomfortable.

Mew left quickly after the shower and few hours later the whole house was captured with his mother's cooking.He smiled, thinking that maybe this house was too null because of that, cause now it was the closest time it ever felt like home.Something was always missing in that house, Gulf knew Mew felt it too.

He really felt better after spending the whole day with his mother, she knew what he should eat or how he should sit to avoid the pain and somehow Gulf was more comfortable about his pregnancy around of his mom.He wasn't comfortable with it even when he was all alone, but his mom had something, making Gulf think like it was there and it was okay, it was still okay.

"Did he really send someone to take you here?" Gulf asked during the evening, they were sitting across each other in the kitchen and she smiled before shaking her head no.

"Actually..." She put her hands on the table between them. "I didn't even call him, he was the one who called me." She said and Gulf closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. "I realized that he was a nice one when he came to our house but..." she looked at him. "--I didn't think he was this nice, I don't think anyone else would allow this." She smiled, and they both knew the way fertile ones were treated so there was no doubt.

"People treats the gifted ones like they are cursed--" She grabbed his hands on the table. "--and he is not treating you like you are normal either." She patted on his hands gently. "He is treating you like you are really special." She said with a smile. "I'm not going to lie Gulf, it was so horrible to wait for you all those years.I felt like I was losing my mind, I just needed to know if you were eating, sleeping---breathing." She said, her expression changing for a second like she felt everything again but then she held Gulf's hands tighter. "I'm so glad that you got matched with him, I really am."

Gulf couldn't say something, he actually didn't know what to say.He also knew one side of him was happy about Mew saving him cause he would never see his mom that happy if he would die in that dirty barn.But still, another side was so much in pain and confusion because of the _thing_ inside him, it was clouding his view.

Mew was still not home when they went to sleep, his mom was at guest room when Gulf was staring at the ceiling.

Mew really drove to his mother's house himself, it must've took hours since their home wasn't close to there and after that he went to work.He already handled with Gulf whole night and left to shop before doing that all.

Gulf sighed, he was still thinking when he heard footsteps.

He quickly closed his eyes and acted like he was sleeping when someone opened his door.He would actually think it was his mother when he felt a hand patting on his hair.But he was used to Mew's perfume, he knew it was the older when the familiar scent hit his face.

He opened his eyes again when the other left.

He already realized Mew wasn't a bad one, no, more than that, he was obviously a good one since he took a great chance with fooling everyone, saying that it was his child in Gulf's body.Even a normal person, _a not bad_ one wouldn't go that far.Mew was really good, he was ridiculously good.He could just let Gulf be, that was why younger didn't bother him when the sickness hit or anything.Mew already did him a favor, they were both making each other's favor and if Mew just wanted to keep having his life, it was fine for Gulf.He didn't have to wake up in the middle of his sleep and try to find something to help Gulf, but he was doing it.Younger wouldn't blame him for leaving him alone in the house since it was what he needed to do, but he was still driving for hours to get his mom since he knew Gulf would feel better.

Gulf smiled before touching his hair where the older patted, he never thought he could meet someone like him, especially in the Area C.


	8. Beautifully Broken

_“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”_

_**-** _

Honestly, Mew kept blinking for a while, feeling surprised and not understanding what was happening.He kept looking at Gulf, who was standing right beside his bed, which meant younger actually opened Mew's door and walked in while he was sleeping, plus woke him up by poking his arm.

This was really surprising since he never did it for 2 months.

"I think something is wrong." Gulf said and Mew furrowed his eyebrows, quickly straightening himself up in bed and pushing his messy bangs behind to look at younger.

"What---What happened?" He got alarmed.

"I..--" Gulf grimaced, scratching his nape. "--I can't pee."

Mew kept looking at him for a while, his mind calculating in the background.

"What do you mean you can't pee?" Mew asked, actually he seemed kinda funny with his bed face and confused eyes, he was obviously alarmed but also confused, which made him look even funnier.

"I haven't pee for the whole day." Gulf said. "And now I really need to pee but I can't."

"Okay--" Mew stood up, he was only wearing his black shorts when he turned the lights on. "--Let me get my keys and--"

"P'Mew." Older stopped when Gulf grabbed his arm. "--Can't we just..--buy some medicine?" He asked and Mew knew younger didn't want to go to hospital.Their appointment date already passed and Mew didn't really forced him to go since he knew seeing others in the hospital was bugging Gulf a lot.He was still not comfortable with the idea of being a fertile instead of being on the other side.

"I will call the doctor then."

"Phi." He grabbed his arm again. "It's 3 a.m."

"So what? He is a doctor it's his job and--" Gulf placed his hand on Mew's phone screen when he was about to unlock it.

"Are you gonna wake him up and tell him that I can't pee?" 

"What? It might be serious." 

"Phi----Phi!" Gulf tried but couldn't stop him when Mew dialed the number.He was pushing Gulf's hands as younger tried to reach him and stop him, walking around the room until the other side picked the call.

"Hello---It's Mew--I'm sorry that I called at this time but--Gulf is having a problem and I thought it might be important."

"Oh my god." Gulf facepalmed before sitting on older's bed.He remained quiet and glared at Mew as older kept informing the other guy about the was Gulf couldn't pee all day.

"Does it hurt when you try to pee?" Mew asked and he nodded with a pout, still glaring at the man.

"--Yes--he says that it hurts." He said to the guy before turning at Gulf again. "If you have to give it a point from 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?" Mew asked again and Gulf thought for a moment.

"7."

"He says 10." He said to the phone and Gulf closed his eyes, sighing loudly.

"He's gonna text me the name of the medicine---He said it happens a lot and there is nothing to worry if the medicines makes it stop." He explained it to Gulf after hanging up, he was already in front of his closet and picking some clothes.

"I said 7, Phi." Gulf glared at him.

"I heard you." Mew said as he put his white tank top on. "But your 7 probably means 10 so I did the math."

"What do you mean?" Gulf kept looking at him as older grabbed his wallet and keys.

"I mean you always try to make it seem lesser---" He grabbed younger's arm, opening the door and pulling him out. "--even when you are in pain." He said pointing downstairs. "Let's go and grab the medicine."

Gulf just nodded and followed him.He already knew Mew would be loud about it, somehow older was really panicky about his health and Gulf knew it was probably because he felt guilty.He couldn't even find himself a partner since this all system make him feel bad for being on the winning side.Gulf understood that Mew wasn't one of those people who acted like they were chosen so they got to be on the top and treat fertile ones like a trash.He thought Mew was nice and he was okay, but he realized his mom was right.Mew wasn't just being kind or worried in a normal level, he was about to call the doctor if Gulf would cough more than 3 times.

Actually he wouldn't wake Mew up, even thought he was in so much pain.But he wanted to go to older's room cause Mew was making him feel like he was younger, younger than he actually felt.Gulf was sent to Area C when he was 18 and he was really a good boy.His mom was so sweet and Gulf took after her, he was living in a basic neighborhood even if it wasn't much, it was still in the Area X.He never had to fight for anything, he was the good, quiet and easy going kid around.But after his fertile side revealed itself, everything turned upside down.It was already hard to accept the fact that he wasn't normal like others, but he also had to watch out for other in Area C cause he was the oldest around and there were so many kids.People never thought twice before using them like they were not kids, not like normal kids just because they were born with this function.So he had to leave the sweet boy out and be strong for others cause they were so fragile and innocent, it really bugged Gulf but also helped him to live in that place.Like giving him a purpose, since nobody else really cared about the kids in there anyway.But he did, he tried to help the most of them and not let the personnel or others take advantage of them.He wore this new personality on him like a new piece of cloth and after 4 years he got really used to it.Even after coming back to Area x and having a friend like Mew beside him, he still didn't let Mew take care of him or told him that he was sick.Gulf learnt to be all alone in that place, he learnt to take care of himself and he also learnt that being sweet in there wouldn't make him good, those people were awful towards the fertile kids and the personality Gulf had in Area X would crush into pieces, he wouldn't be able to see that dirty things happening everyday, watching the kids crying while holding a stranger's hand and leaving that place.Gulf knew he would really give up, he would try to kill himself so much earlier cause the boy his mother raised couldn't face with that place, that people.

That was why he believed Mew after knowing him, when the older said he couldn't stand this and he would rather to be in Area C since he wouldn't feel horrible like this, he actually felt it was real.Mew was like him too, he didn't want to believe people could be so ruthless towards others, Mew also couldn't face with that place, that people.

But after having his mom at Mew's place for a week, Gulf started to feel different about older.At first he really thought Mew was just being nice, like paying back.After all he was a guy who took the risk, no, more than the risk, he actually accepted having someone else's baby as his.At first Gulf wasn't on his best condition to think about the whole thing, but later, after getting calm and collecting himself, he actually realized Mew was more than he thought.Even the doctors in that place got stiff and nervous after seeing his father, he really had a big influence, he was also one of the founders of this system and everybody was scared of him.Going to few places with Mew and realizing the change of other's behaviors after hearing his last name was enough to let Gulf see how strong they were.

He was that strong, he was that rich, he was on the lucky side; he had everything to be like that guy at the hospital, pick one pretty boy for himself, he could probably pick more than 3 since his family was making this thing roll, he had everything to be an asshole and act like they were all rats.It would be easier than torturing himself for being lucky.

But here he was, trying to find the nearest on-duty pharmacy.

It was a simple move, walking towards his room and poking him, telling something was wrong.But actually it meant a lot for Gulf cause after coming back, he wasn't feeling well, everything happened so fast and he was fucked up.Like these things were not enough, he also had someone who was trying to look after him, just like how he was supposed to live before going to Area C.Gulf couldn't adapt to all of these cause he had to built another personality to be able to handle with the world around of him.

He just wanted to wake Mew up, he wanted to feel like the old Gulf even if it was just for a night.He wanted to remember the feeling.

'How's your _ping pong_ doing?'

He snorted after seeing Mew's text.He still had the phone Mew bought for him but he didn't really use it, he didn't want to see any friends from his past cause he knew it would make him feel worse at the moments, seeing them having the life he could have.

 _'If this is your way of asking about it, I peed.'_ He texted back, turning back to the puzzle Mew took home two days ago.He was insisting about taking younger out but Gulf always rejected, he was spending a lot of time inside and Mew was trying to find way to keep him busy.At first he wasn't going to give it a try but he got really bored, so he was sitting there with 1000 piece puzzle on the big glass table in the living room.It was beside the large windows and Gulf actually liked it cause it felt like everything was fine, he was on top of a tall building, nobody was allowed to see him or reach him.He was good like this.

His phone buzzed again and he smiled, shaking his head after seeing Mew sending clapping and confetti emojis as an answer.

He didn't realize it but his mom staying over for a week made him feel more comfortable, he was already okay with Mew but the house felt so off.He felt like he was one of those hospital buildings, like a lab rat.Everything was so expensive, so white and so out of the world Gulf was used to live.But his mom's existence helped him to feel like it was a home too, he could think like Mew said, like they were roommates.It might've work.

"What---are those?" Gulf raised his eyebrows, he walked downstairs after hearing the door since he knew it was Mew, but saw him with a lot of bags.

"I got you a gift for peeing." Mew grinned, teasing with a cheerful tone as Gulf glared at him.

"Ha ha, Phi.So funny." He imitated him before walking closer, he was wearing his blue shorts with an old black T-shirt and Mew was still in his suit.

"Why did you buy so many----no." Gulf peeked to see what they were and shook his head after realizing they were supplementary food, a lot of them.

"Yes." Mew said while taking off his jacket and rolling his shirt's sleeves up before starting to take out the cans.

"I called P'Non and he said you should eat this one---after the breakfast." He put one of them on the counter. "--and this one after dinner." he placed another one on top of it. "Everyday." He said and Gulf furrowed his eyebrows.

"Who is P'Non?"

"Oh--he is your doctor, his name is Non." Mew said as he kept taking out the cans and Gulf sighed.

"Why do I have to--"

"Cause you are still not on your ideal weight---come here." He made a move with his hand and Gulf rolled his eyes, taking a step.

"Get closer." Mew repeated and Gulf took another step.

"See?" He poked Gulf's cheek with his index finger as younger kept glaring at him. "--there is no meat, no meat means that's not okay."

"I think I'm doing pretty fine." Gulf said, realizing there were a lot of cans as Mew kept placing them on the counter. "Did you buy the whole shelf?" He sighed.

"Did you have dinner?" Mew asked, ignoring younger and leaning his palms on the kitchen.

"No, I was waiting for you."

"Good---I got us steak."

"Oh my god----Phi!" Gulf facepalmed after seeing the amount of meat Mew bought. "Thank you for trying to take care of me but I'm not eating any of those things." He pointed at the cans. "I don't want to eat steak, it makes me me feel nausea and--"

"You only gained 2 kilos, Gulf." Mew said in a serious tone. "You don't even have cheeks."

Gulf sighed, looking at the cans and shaking his head again.

"I will just make myself a sandwich and--"

"I told him to tell my dad that we visited, he will cover our asses and we won't have to go for this month."

"Really?" Gulf got surprised.

"Yes." Mew raised one of his eyebrows. "But if you don't gain at least 4 kilos until our next appointment, we will have to visit him 2 times in a month."

Gulf kept blinking for few seconds.

"Are you threatening me?"

"I'm just telling you the rules." Mew opened his hands like there was nothing he could do. "4 kilos." He showed it with his fingers.

Gulf looked at him with his opened mouth.

"How can I gain 4 kilos in a month, Phi?!"

"With these." Mew pointed at the cans. "And these." Then at the meats.

Gulf kept grumbling, still saying that he won't eat those cans cause they smell disgusting and seeing the meat makes him want to puke already.But after few minutes he was helping the guy while making a salad.

Mew just chuckled at younger's behavior, it was good to have company in his house.Actually Mew never had a close one, he had Mild, but they were never too close, at least not for Mew.Cause other people tend to act good to him, tried to get closer since everyone was aware of his family.So he never really let others got too close, it took few years to understand a lot of people just used him and had no interest in his personality.

"I never had one." Gulf answered, they were eating in the kitchen when the chat went into the girlfriend topic.Now they were not weird with each other, they always found a topic to talk about until going to bed.

"I bet you had a lot." He pointed at Mew with his fork. "You must be a popular one."

Mew chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

"And what makes you say that? Just because I'm rich?"

Gulf shook his head no, gulping his piece before talking.

"You are caring." He said. "Girls likes caring guys, I guess."

"Maybe." Mew puckered his lips before placing another piece of meat into Gulf's plate and earning a deep sigh. "I only had one, it was all good and I actually thought I would get married to her." Gulf was listening with curious eyes, not expecting an answer like that. "It took me 2 months to realize she was sleeping with one of our business partners." He added before biting another piece and Gulf could only look at his face. "I actually walked in the hotel room and saw her under him."

"Phi." Gulf's tone came out really tiny as he placed his fork down, getting really surprised.

"It's okay." Mew smiled. "It's better than getting married to someone who doesn't really love you, right?" He added with a sad smile. "She was only after the money, they actually got married---You are gonna finish that, Gulf." He pointed at Gulf's plate and this time younger grabbed his fork again, nodding and eating since he felt bad for him now.

"I had a bad feeling when I heard them getting a fertile since she can't give birth to a boy and the guy really wanted a son." He sighed, Gulf was watching his face as older kept looking at his place. "Somehow the one they took home couldn't make it after 4 months." He said, tilting his head and looking at Gulf. "They covered it up, acting like it was the boy's fault to not take care of himself and dying.But I heard that she was really jealous since she couldn't give birth to a male like him---I don't know." His expression changed, he looked away before looking at Gulf again. "--I got really sad at first but after seeing all these things happening...I could really ruin my life with getting married to her."

Gulf nodded softly, not daring to say anything since he felt like he didn't have the right words.

After few minutes he chuckled, covering his mouth as Mew looked at him.

"What?"

"I just--" He kept chuckling, trying to finish his food before speaking. "--Don't get mad at me for saying this but she might be the most stupid person ever." He was still laughing when he shook his head. "I mean, how can someone be together with you because you are rich?" He said and Mew furrowed his eyebrows, not getting his point. "Yes, there are a lot of people who would like to have some money but with you--" He pointed at Mew. "You are like a whole package and money is really below the list, you have like --everything.You are good looking--" he started to count with his fingers. "--you can sing, yes I heard you in the shower that day--you can cook, you are caring, you don't look down on others, you are considerate, you can accept your faults and try to fix it, and seems like you were also the loyal one in that relationship--I don't have enough fingers." He stopped counting with a smile. "So if she chose an asshole over you, she won't be able to enjoy the money at all." He added.

"Are you trying to comfort me?" Mew smiled, leaning his arms on the table and looking at younger.

"Not at all." Gulf said after another bite. "It's such a shame that they only see you as money when you have all the good deeds."

"I'm not that good." He smiled. "But it's good to hear that you think I'm good."

"Don't get ahead of yourself." Gulf tilted his head. "Technically you are the only guy I saw after leaving Area C, I'm not counting the few assholes." He said and Mew chuckled.

"You're right." He nodded. "Also--" He turned back to eating as well. "--I'm not this good to everyone." Gulf looked at him with that. "I'm only good to you cause I actually like you and if you don't eat two of these cans everyday--" he pointed his knife at Gulf. "I won't be good to you either."

Gulf let out a laugh with that and it made Mew chuckle too, he didn't say it loud to break the mood but this was the first time Gulf burst into laughter like that.

"I'm so scared." Gulf teased back, rolling his eyes. "I bet you can't even hurt an ant."

"You bet." Mew mumbled, raising his eyebrows.

"Phi." Gulf called him after few minutes. "How about... 1 can in a day?"

"I said 4 kilos, 4 kilos it is."

"How a person can get 4 kilos in a month?! It's so stupid!"

"It's not, do you realize how skinny you are?"

"It's because I keep throwing up!"

"It's because you are not eating enough!"

"You are being ridiculous, Phi."

"You don't even have cheeks."

"I do have cheeks!"

Their bickering started and continued until Mew threatened him with eating meat everyday, so younger chose to eat one of the little cans instead of feeling nausea all night.

Both of them didn't know this kind of bickering would become their usual thing,  
they didn't have the slightest idea.

They were just two broken souls, trying to hold onto something to keep living.Mew held onto Gulf, thinking that making him want to live, taking care of him and actually having younger's son as his would help the boy, also him, it would ease his soul.Gulf thought having a friend after so long, someone who actually knew about all of his secrets and still chose to not look at him like others, would be nice.

He could give it a try.


	9. The Surprise

> _  
>  _

_“You don’t get explanations in real life. You just get moments that are absolutely, utterly, inexplicably odd.”_

_**-** _

Gulf was biting his lip nervously as he got on the weighing machine.

"What is it?" Mew asked, he was trying to see the screen but the doctor was blocking the way.

"Looks like..." Non, apparently his doctor, checked some files as Gulf sat on the stretcher again. "--you've gained 3 kilos."

"Damn it!"

"I knew it!"

Mew and Gulf started to talk at the same time and it caught the other guy by surprise since they were mostly quiet.

"It's just 1 kilos, Phi!"

"I said 4! It was the deal!"

"It's not fair---I ate those disgusting things!"

"He said 3!"

"Actually..." The doctor started, causing both of them to look at him. "I think 3 is not that bad, if he keeps going like this he will be on his ideal weight in two months.Then he can gain naturally during the last months." He explained.

"You heard him." Gulf looked at Mew.

"But he is still not on his ideal weight, right?" Mew asked at doctor and Gulf sighed.

"It's cheating!"

"But you are still skinny!"

"Well, that's true." The other guy said, causing Gulf to roll his eyes. "But I think you are getting better, do you still have morning sickness?"

Gulf nodded. "I'm handling with it and--"

"Actually it got a little bit aggressive, I mean he was throwing up before but now it's causing him to feel nausea for a long time." Mew said and Gulf facepalmed, rubbing his face angrily since he wasn't thinking on telling the doctor those things but Mew just said it all.

"Why did you use the word ''aggressive"?" He asked curiously and Mew puckered his lips, sitting beside Gulf on the stretcher and earning a death glare by younger.

"Do you wanna explain?" Mew asked to Gulf.

"I'm fine, it's not that bad."

"It is." Mew turned back at the doctor. "I'm trying to understand what's happening and he is always acting like it's not a big thing when it actually is----Imagine how tired I am."

"Phi!" Gulf nudged his shoulder angrily.

"Aggressive like-- there is no second his body gives him a rest." He ignored younger, tried to explain it to the doctor. "Like--it's always trying to make him remember that--it's carrying something, you know." He quickly ignored the baby word.

"I get what you mean." He said with a serious face and it made Gulf stop glaring at Mew, turning his face at the doctor since the guy seemed like it made sense. "Pregnancy is not easy, it's not even easy with women and it's harder with fertile ones.But it doesn't mean that you have to be in pain for 9 months.Yes there are the times it will be bad but it should give you some time to recover.Do you feel like that?" He looked at Gulf. "Like...--your body is getting quiet, at least for few hours and letting you rest?" He asked, raising his eyebrows like it meant something.

And Gulf shook his head no.He hated to admit but Mew was right, he had no idea how the hell older realized it since he didn't say it loud.But it was really like that.Yes, having morning sickness or feeling sick, having aches were normal; but they never passed, there wasn't a second Gulf breathed without any pain.

The doctor sighed and put the documents on his lap, completely turning at Gulf like these had nothing to do with papers.

"It's your third month." He stated. "I can see that you are better, both physical and psychological.But your body is never at ease, it's like a clock and you are supposed to feel some hits if they are meant to hurt.Not all the moves." He tilted his head, looking at him with sympathetic eyes. "If you don't embrace the fact that you are carrying a child, it will never let you rest."

"What do you mean---I already accept it, this is why I'm sitting here." Gulf said, averting his gaze since he didn't really like these visits and them getting longer was the last thing he wanted.

"No---yes you accept the conditions you are in, but that's not it."

"What do you mean?" Mew asked curiously.

"You both know that fertile ones won't have a child if they don't really want it, right?" He said while looking at Mew and he nodded. "They have the ability of turning their bodies into vessels, but it's like a button, if they don't press it, the ability just stays hidden."

"Like we have a choice." Gulf mumbled angrily, looking away from them.

"He's already pregnant, it must've mean that back then he accepted that fact for a moment.But right now, he is not." He said and Mew looked back at him, both of them knowing Gulf's situation, and also aware of the fact that younger wasn't so happy about being pregnant.

"Are you saying that, him not mentally embracing it causes him to get extra pain?" Mew said after few seconds and the doctor nodded.

"His body keeps pushing him even when nothing is happening and there is no reason to feel pain cause it wants to make him allow it, like acknowledging it." He tried to explain and saw Mew nodding, he seemed like he got what the other meant.

"This is getting really boring." Gulf stood up. "I'm doing fine, the _thing_ in me is doing fine---So, what's there? I think we can leave now." He said and walked towards the door without looking back, obviously couldn't stand to stay in there more.

"Any tips?" Mew said, standing up after the boy and looking at the doctor.

"They usually embrace it completely, but his case is rare, you know it." He said and Mew nodded.

"He still refers the baby as a 'thing' or 'it'." Mew said, sighing softly. "Do you think I can make anything to--" He stopped as they heard loud voices coming from the hallway.

"Damn it." Mew mumbled, rushing to the door and walking out to see where Gulf was.

"What do you mean I can't fucking walk out?!" Gulf was yelling, really really loud and it made it easier for Mew to spot him in front of the exit, screaming at the security guy who was 2 times bigger than him.But of course, nobody laid a finger on Gulf this time, they would actually handle it pretty roughly if it was another fertile boy, but the gossip spread really fast and nobody wanted to get their ass involved with Suppasit family.

"I'm sorry but it's the same for everyone, you can't go out without--"

"Without an asshole beside me saying that I can go out?! Like the one you didn't stop that day?" Gulf walked really closer to the guy and he was obviously holding himself to not touch Gulf, staying still and letting the boy press his finger on his chest in a threatening way. "I still remember you." Gulf tilted his head. "And I don't fucking like you."

"Gulf." Mew walked closer as the doctor was watching the scene from his door.

"Oh---here it is! The normal human being you can actually take as a person! Not someone like me, yeah?" Gulf kept yelling angrily, causing everyone to look at his direction. "Seems like I'm your pet, Mew." The boy looked at him when Mew approached, trying to find the right words to stop the boy since he knew it could backfire.But he got surprised at the way younger called him, he never really called him with only his name.

"They say I can't even go out without my master's permission." He hissed while glaring at the one special security guard, obviously not liking him.

"Stop saying things like that." Mew said as he got closer to him. "You know that I don't like it." He said it in a lower tone, looking at Gulf like those words were really not making him feel good.

"Get off the way---you piece of shit!" Gulf pushed the one he didn't like, really hard and the guy stumbled towards back.But of course he didn't do anything in return, just watched the boy walking out while squeezing his fists.

"They don't even let me leave the building! I can't believe this----they are using us like pets and--"

"Gulf." Mew walked after him and interrupted his grumble by grabbing his arm. "You can't do this."

"What?" Gulf furrowed his eyebrows, turning at Mew. "What am I doing? I'm just saying that people are treating--"

"You keep attacking around every time you feel how real the baby is." Mew said and saw the way Gulf paused for few seconds.But then younger pulled his arm back in a harsh way.

"I already know that it's real." He said while walking back to the car, slamming the door after getting in and causing Mew to sigh.

He still keep calling the baby 'it', and Mew didn't feel good about all of this.He knew Gulf was good at enduring the pain, but after listening the doctor he could understand that it would be a torture for him if he would keep doing this to himself.And he himself was the only one who could change that, Mew wasn't in a place to do anything to help him.

He just hoped Gulf would accept it, at least enough to not make his body keep reminding him the baby.

But it didn't happen.

After two weeks it was even worse than before, Gulf's dark circles under his eyes became bigger and he was going to start to lose weight again if he would keep throwing up that much.It almost felt like his body was forcing him to surrender, torturing him so bad on a point that nobody would like to experience.Gulf never said it loud but the way boy kept turning off the lights for too long was enough to make Mew understand his headache was never leaving him.He saw the hot water bag on the counter for few times, meaning his pain and discomfort was still there, probably worse than before.While they were eating together or watching something, Gulf would try to hide his uncomfortable face as he moved one of his legs, like he was trying to handle with the sudden ache his body decided to hit him with.

Mew could see it all and he tried to talk to Gulf for few times, but all of his attempts were useless.The boy kept changing the topic or telling him that he was okay, it wasn't that bad.

"Do you want to go out?" Mew asked after spotting younger on the couch.

"No, you can go alone." Gulf answered without tilting his head, kept looking at the puzzle in front of him instead.

"Not with me---I meant, do you want to go out alone?" He asked again, this time causing younger to stop trying to find the right piece and looking at him.

"They didn't even let me walk out of the hospital." Gulf threw him a mean look. "They asked some kind of--"

"Card." Mew completed and Gulf looked at him with angry eyes.

"Yes, like I'm some kind of dog." He spit angrily but Mew didn't mind him, he took a card out of his back pocket and placed it on the table in front of Gulf.

"Oh---is this the card? Ah, it has my owner's name on it too." Gulf said with a smile, obviously getting mad again as he took the small card into his hand.

"Gulf." Mew raised his eyebrows but younger looked at him, shaking his head.

"What? Isn't it right?---Should I put it around of my neck like a collar?" Gulf kept going and Mew sighed deeply before resting his elbows on his knees, rubbing his face roughly for few seconds.

"You know that I hate it too." He looked at Gulf after running his fingers through his hair, having a really displeased expression. "But it's the only way for you to go out and have some time alone." He stood up as the boy kept looking at the card. "You can buy some eggs before coming back." He turned his back at the boy and was about to head towards his room.

"Do I have the capability of buying something?"

Mew stopped and turned at him again.

"Do you really want to keep doing this?" He looked at younger and Gulf stared back at him with a challenging look.

"Yes." He stood up like the older. "Why? Don't you like it? You officially have a bitch now, right?"

"When did I treat you like that?" Mew furrowed his eyebrows, still being calm despite the fact that younger was trying so hard to pick a fight.

"Everyone treats me like that, and I have a fucking collar like a dog!" He said while hitting the air with the card in his hand.

"Do I treat you like that?" Mew asked as he walked closer to the younger.

"Everybody does! They just--"

"Gulf." He stopped him when he was standing right across him, still having a calm tone. "Do I treat you like that?"

Younger one looked at him for few seconds, still seeming angry for some reason.

"Does it make you feel better?" Gulf tilted his head. "Yeah, you don't.You are such a good guy.Congratulations, now you can go and put your head on your pillow easily! It's not your fault anyway!" He yelled before pushing Mew by his shoulder and walking away. "Nobody's guilty! You are not to blame, I'm not to blame." He stopped in front of the door, looking at Mew for a while. "Then who am I supposed to blame, Phi?" He shook his head, seeming even more pissed off then before. "Do you have any idea? Cause I don't." He said before walking out, holding the phone and card in his hand.

He never went out alone before, not that Mew was against to it, actually he tried it a lot but younger wasn't into it.He didn't even go out with Mew that much, the idea of being a fertile one was becoming too real when he was out, Mew noticed that too.That was why he never forced him that much or mentioned the card.It was something that give the fertile ones the permission to wander around alone.Most of them didn't have it, it was their choice to let them have the card or not.Mew knew it would made Gulf feel even worse so he didn't mention it before but now he could see it clearly after talking to doctor, it was almost his forth month and things could get really worse if he would keep being in pain like that.

"Oh god--!!" Gulf was still fuming with anger when he held onto the wall, the sudden pain he felt in his stomach caused him to grimace and close his eyes tightly. "I know!---I fucking know you are there!---Give me a fucking break!" He cursed loudly, causing few people to look at him but giving really no fucks about it at the moment.He didn't even know where he was going.After seeing the doctor that day, he was extremely angry.He was furious, at everything.

Every time he thought this was enough, he could pull this off, something new was popping out.

"How the fuck I'm supposed to accept it mentally when I don't fucking want it?" He kept talking to himself, walking to the entrance of the building.

"Wait a minute you--"

"Here,---shut the fuck up now, you fucking asshole." He slapped the card on the glass between them when the security guard was about to create a fuss.He didn't see the two workers staring after him with surprised eyes because of the sudden outburst, he was too on edge to give attention to other's reactions anyway.

He felt like he was so ready to explode, like, just few seconds away from it.

"That's true---I don't fucking want you, do you hear me?" He talked to himself as he walked out of the area, getting on the street without actually knowing where he was going. "I don't want you, you are not fucking wanted and you were not supposed to exist!" He said while looking down at his stomach. "I tried to kill myself to get rid of you---if you need my approval for existing---I feel like you are not going to make it!" His fast and angry walk had to stop with a stronger force, a sharp pain on his back.

It didn't stop Gulf to keep talking, saying it all loud while walking on that street.Talking about how he hated the thing inside him and he wasn't wanted, he kept repeating it all over again and the pain kept hitting him harder every time.

_**-** _

Mew was holding his phone, he was about to call Gulf's mother since he couldn't think of something else and the boy's pain kept growing everyday with his anger.He was really trying but he felt like he caused Gulf to get even madder.

He was still thinking with his phone in his hand, it had been few hours since Gulf left and Mew was still feeling awful about the way he talked to him before going out.He knew it would be so much easier to blame someone, he knew Gulf was having hard time and he should've let him say whatever he wanted.At least he could do that for him.But it actually hurt Mew every time Gulf talked about being someone lower than him.He hated it as much as Gulf hated it, maybe even more.

He got startled when his phone buzzed in his hand and got surprised as he saw Gulf's name on his screen.

"Gulf? Are you--"

"Oh---hello sir--your mate had an accident and--"

"What?" 

_"He is going to panic----give it to me!"_ He was already standing when he heard Gulf's voice.

"Who are you? Where is he---hello? Hey!"

"Phi---it's me, it's not something important."

"I'm sure." Mew said after hearing the way Gulf was breathing, he quickly grabbed his car keys. "Where are you?"

Actually Gulf tried it before too, he tried to make people beat the fuck out of him after he came back to the Area X.That was why Mew said that he was attacking around, he was right, he was trying to pick a fight with everyone, hoping that they would beat him so hard and cause the thing inside him to die.

Cause it wasn't supposed to be there, just like how Gulf repeated it that day, he didn't want him.

He didn't, he really didn't, but he also couldn't just lay down on that stretcher and get that thing out of himself.He didn't know what stopped him that day, but every time he felt a little good about himself, he was getting disgusted.He was getting disgusted at the fact that he wanted it for a second, even if it was lesser than a second, Gulf wanted it and it was the reason why that thing was alive inside him now.And he was feeling even more disgusted when he woke up and spent few hours like it was okay, it was okay to have that thing in him.

He kept attacking everyone he could see, but the one who didn't let Gulf have a break was himself.He wasn't letting himself embrace this all, he was forcing himself to not want it.He was forcing himself so hard on a point that he couldn't handle it anymore.

He was really calm when he walked closer to the guy who was wearing a suit, sitting on a table in the corner of the restaurant and insulting the boy in front of him.The boy made Gulf remember one of the boys from Area C, one of the ones he loved.

He didn't think much when he punched the guy in the face.He hated this, he hated it all, they were all child and these people didn't even feel a little bad about humiliating them like that.IT made him feel sick, he couldn't handle it.

He couldn't handle with himself.

That was why it felt good at first, he felt really good when he was the one getting punched and kicked after few seconds.The guy was really huge and he chuckled, he didn't have intention to fight back anyway.He could hear the staff getting around them and talking, trying to make him stop.But he was already in a state he wouldn't be able to fight back even if he wanted to.

He thought he wanted this, he should've done it that day, he should've lay on that stretcher and get rid of the thing inside him without thinking what was going to happen to him or Mew.

But when the guy's strong kick landed on his stomach, his whole sight went black for few seconds.He stopped hearing all the sounds, just a high pitched strange voice which cause him to grimace until it stopped.He lost his breathe and felt like his all emotional state changed in a heartbeat.He was furious, so angry at everything including himself; after punching that guy and getting it back from him, he was pleased, it hurt yes but he believed that was what he wanted.

But now, his heartbeats were getting so much faster, he tried to gulp hardly for few times and his hand clutched his t-shirt, right on his stomach.

After all the emotions, now he was feeling the strongest one.Which beat all of them.

"Stop it!" He screamed, his arm covering his stomach instinctively. "I swear--" He spit some blood before trying to pull himself away from the guy.

"What? What are you gonna do, huh? Who do you think you are and you can--" The guy was walking towards him again.

"Suppasit--" Gulf said after spitting again, the blood taste in his mouth getting heavier every second. "--I'm Mew Suppasit's mate." he said, making it loud and clear.Actually he never thought he would use this, it was the thing he hated.But right now it was the last call, cause that kick made him feel how real it was.Yes he kept hating on everything that made him feel how real baby was, but that kind of pain made him feel like he was looking down from a high building.

He didn't like it.

"You are lying." The guy looked at him, others getting concerned after the mention of the surname.Gulf knew nobody would do anything if a guy was beating the shit out of a fertile, unless he wasn't dead and he could still perform his duty, nobody would mind.But in these months he also learnt the power Mew's family held, he witnessed it with his own eyes. "Their son doesn't have a mate." He said, Gulf sighing in relief at his reply.Cause the guy really stopped hitting him and also knew about the family having only one son.

So his observation was right, probably there was nobody who didn't know Suppasit family with the other few families since they were the one who created this all shit.

"Holy...---shit." The guy mumbled after checking the card Gulf threw on the floor with the last piece of strength he got.

"Get me a glass of water." He said before laying his head on the ground and taking few breathes to ease the pain in his stomach but it made it even worse.

"Now!" He yelled at the guy and saw him putting his card back on the ground before cursing under his breath.

"Seems like..." He mumbled to himself as he closed his eyes, laying on the ground just like that without caring about others and placing his palm on his stomach. "..--Mew saved us again."

__

_**-** _

The guy who kicked the shit out of him was the same guy who brought him a glass of water and looked at him with that big concerned eyes.After the phone talk everybody realized the son of Suppasit's was coming there.

"You know---unlike you, Mew and I have a close relationship." Gulf said, he was sitting on a chair with his swollen eye.Actually it hurt so bad down there but he was trying to cover it, he was still not over with that guy. "And he is such a good guy---have you met him before?" He looked at the guy who kept staying quiet. "I wonder what is he gonna do when he learns that you tried to kill his baby---oh what about his father? I'm carrying their only fucking grandson you stupid asshole!" The guy sighed so deeply when Gulf slapped the table.He was all over him minutes ago, showing him who was the boss and now he couldn't even say anything.

Gulf's eyes turned at the boy sitting beside that guy, seeming even more scared after the whole scene.

"I'm sorry." The guy said as he looked at Gulf. "They will take everything from me if you tell them." He said in a low tone and Gulf rolled his eyes.

"Good to see you know that." He grimaced in pain as he tried to lean his back on the chair, giving up and sitting in a weird position. "Give me your number--" Gulf took out his phone and placed it on table between them, pushing it towards the boy.

"Oh--me?" The younger one pointed at himself.

"Yes." Gulf answered.

"But sir I..--don't have one." He said and Gulf glared at the other guy.

"Give me your number, get him a phone and send me his number later." He said to the guy. "I will call him every week and I hear one bad thing about you I swear I will do worse than making Mew take everything you have." He said in a serious tone with threatening eyes as he leaned to the table between them.

The guy seemed in doubt for a second, they all knew nobody cared about their mates that much but there were also rumors about Mew since he stayed alone for a long time and refused to have a mate.Plus one could never be able to fake it like this if it was the other way.

He typed down the number and gave him a nod, but still sitting there since he wanted to see how honest he was.

Gulf could read his thoughts through his face, it caused him to roll his eyes.These guys were dumb as fuck and still thinking they were the powerful ones.

"Gulf!---Why are you still here?! I told you to let them take you to an hospital and--" Mew started to talk right after spotting him but after walking closer his eyes scanned him from head to toe really quickly.

"Who did this?" His tone changed into a dark one after seeing the bruises all over Gulf's face and arms.He wasn't able to see them but Gulf was sure he had worse on his legs.

"I don't know---Do you think I recognize everyone in Area X?" Gulf said with a whiny tone after throwing a look at the guy across him.

"Did you all see it?" Mew asked all of sudden and Gulf realized that he was looking at the staff working there. "--this place has cameras, right?" He was about to step further in when Gulf grabbed his arm.

"You need to take me to hospital, now." He said and Mew hesitated for a second, but when he saw Gulf holding his stomach, his eyes quickly looked back at Gulf's.He never saw him doing that move, it wasn't weird since he always chose to address the baby as if it was a furniture.

"Oh god--" Gulf had to let out a fake whine since Mew still seemed confused.He didn't want his plan to get ruined, he knew Mew was a smart one and if they would spend few more minutes there he would understand what was going on.But Mew had a flaw.

He panicked easily, especially if it was about Gulf.

"Alright---take it easy." It worked, Mew dropped the topic and wrapped an arm around of the boy, helping him till his car.The sight was enough to make that people realize Gulf wasn't kidding, he actually played the Suppasit guy like that without even moving from his seat.

"Does it hurt? Did you get hit on there?" Mew asked as he was driving, seeming really worried as he kept looking at Gulf's side.

"Yes." Gulf nodded slowly, seeming like he was having the exact opposite mood of earlier. "It hurt like hell." He said as he leaned his head on back of the seat and sighed. "I'm sorry Phi, I know it hurts you when I talk like that." He suddenly said in a really soft tone and it got Mew confused for a second.

"It's okay, it doesn't matter." Mew replied like it didn't really matter as he focused on driving faster, feeling more worried after learning Gulf actually got hit on his belly.It caused younger to open his eyes and look at the guy who was driving.Mew was really just getting worried about him at the moment like the things he said didn't hurt him, Gulf knew they did, Mew already told him how awful he felt to be on the lucky side.

Gulf let out a sight before closing his eyes again, at least everything was more clear now.

Maybe he really needed a kick to get himself together.

__

_**-** _

After getting his swollen eye treated he was laying on the familiar stretcher, but this time with a different expression.He never looked at the monitor during the times he come there, he barely even talked.

"Is everything okay? It hurt really bad when I got a kick on there---I don't think it's serious since the pain is almost gone but still---is he alright?" Gulf asked while the doctor was focused on the monitor now, but just like Mew, he also turned at Gulf with the last question.

He never referred the baby as 'him' before, it was always 'it' and it really got Mew confused since hours ago the boy was acting all different and now he was all calm and fine.

"Yes---it seems like he is doing fine." The doctor smiled before telling him to not sleep on his right side for few days and he was lucky cause the hit wasn't strong enough to effect him.

"I can't believe this." Mew mumbled after the doctor's speech, looking at Gulf's bare stomach as the doctor kept moving the stick on it. "How can a person have heart to do this?" He asked, more to himself as he looked at the slightly purple mark on the right side of Gulf's stomach.

Mew didn't notice it but Gulf smiled as he looked at him, this man was really different from all the others Gulf kept seeing around.

They didn't realize the way doctor's eyebrows got raised as he leaned closer to the screen.Cause Gulf reached for Mew's hand and grabbed the guy's wrist.

"It was my fault Phi, it's okay---it doesn't even hurt anymore." He said with a small smile after seeing how bad Mew felt.

"Don't say that." Mew looked at him with his displeased face and making Gulf smile again before nodding.He really stormed out after saying that things but Mew was still scolding him for saying it was his fault.

"How about I start to eat 3 cans of those vegetable things you bought?" Gulf said, looking at Mew and seeing the way he got surprised.

"You are lying." Mew said and Gulf chuckled.

"I swear!"

"Guys---we have a problem." The doctor said all of sudden and both of them turned at him.

"What---what's wrong?" Mew quickly asked since the doctor seemed terrified.He took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead for few seconds.

"Phi! What is it?" Mew repeated as Gulf felt his heartbeats getting faster,

did his stupid breakdown really caused him to get the baby damaged?

"It's a girl."

He said and the room fell silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heey guys! It's been a while~~~Tell me if you like this chapter, I missed your comments a lot!! Stay safe <3


	10. Fon

_"True love is not always about romance, candle lit dinners and flowers._

_Real love is about the respect, care, trust and compromise you have in your heart."_

_-_

They kept staring at the doctor after hearing that, nobody saying anything for a while.

"Are you...---like, sure?" Mew asked as he slowly sat down on the edge of the stretcher Gulf was laying on.

"I checked it---it's all clear, there is no doubt." The doctor said as he looked at the screen again. "It's almost the fourth month and...---I've never seen this before." He seemed really speechless, everyone in that room knew that all the fertile males always give birth to males, there was nobody who actually gave birth to a girl and that was why everybody was addressing the babies as 'him' even before they were born.Gender reveal wasn't even a thing, nobody counted months to learn it since it was already the same.

"It's a girl." The doctor repeated, looking at them. "I mean...think about it--" He rolled his chair closer to them , seeming really excited. "--He didn't want to get pregnant, there's a low possibility for the ones who doesn't really want it, they might get pregnant yes but he was totally against to it but it still happened."

"What..--what are you trying to say Phi?" Mew seemed really confused, he was trying to connect the dots in his head but he was really shocked because of the gender.It wasn't even the last thing he expected.

"I am saying--" Non looked at Mew. "--he already broke the first rule, it was a must for getting pregnant.We didn't think about it a lot since it might get explained as him actually wanting it down---But this, it's not like that.This is something new." Both of them were looking at him with empty eyes. "We need a lot of tests, I need to be %100 sure and then--"

"Wait, does that mean you are not sure?" Mew asked.

"I'm sure, %99,9." Non answered as he stood up, gathering Gulf's documents excitedly. "It's just a confirmation, then I have to talk to others about the possibilities of--"

"Wait wait--Hold on." Mew stood up well, taking the papers from the guy and surprising him. "You are not telling this to anybody." He looked at the doctor. "My dad can't learn it."

"But Mew--he is going to learn it eventually, you can't hide this." Non said, he started to call him with his name a month ago since Mew insisted.

"Just---let's think about it for a while, okay?" Mew put the papers away. "What are the possibilities you mentioned?" He asked, seeming really nervous and confused.

"It might be another disease." Non looked at him, talking in his doctor tone seriously.

"I'm having a headache." Gulf mumbled as he massaged his temples with a nervous expression.He was already sitting on the stretcher but not looking at them.

"This disease changed our all society rules, it happened all of sudden, even years later nobody could find a cure and it could be our end if fertile ones were not revealed.But if they also get a disease, there is no other way." He looked at Mew seriously. "But it can be the other option." He turned his eyes at Gulf this time. "Either you are diseased, this is a start of another hell or your daughter will be different."

"Great---amazing." Gulf mumbled, turning back to rubbing his forehead. "Just hours ago I was supposed to accept the fact that I'm having a son and now I'm having a daughter----fucking awesome!"

"What do you mean different?" Mew ignored him, staring at the doctor. "You mean she must be diseased?"

"What?" Gulf tilted his head with that. "Is that possible?" He asked with a disturbed face.Actually he wasn't so comfortable with this idea, still, and it seemed like he would keep feeling like this for a while, but a big side of him was giving into his instincts, it was like reflexes.Just like the time that guy was beating him up, all of sudden he thought about something to make him stop cause the kick he got on his stomach made him feel it in his guts, he felt how hurt the 'thing' inside him could feel.He didn't like it.

"No no---I'm not saying she can be diseased, we would've seen it if something was wrong." He fixed his glasses before smiling, still seeming excited while the other two was dumbfounded. "I'm saying that she might be the cure."

"What?" They both asked at the same time.

"I know how it sounds but--I have a good feeling about this.It's been years and none of the fertiles gave birth to a female, it's either white or black." He kept talking fast with shining eyes.

"I'm not following." Mew kept blinking.

"What if this can turn the circle back, like how it was?" He looked at Mew with a smile but both Mew and Gulf kept looking at him without understanding anything. "It's so early to talk about this, I need to discuss it with others and after the tests...--" He kept talking and talking, Mew handed Gulf a bottle of water during his explanation, which meant nothing for them.

"Can you please talk in a way we can understand?" Mew interrupted after a while.

The doctor took a breathe, ruffled his hair and put his hands on his legs. "After this disease, all the women started to give birth to only females, and the female ones they gave birth, gives birth to females, that's how the circle goes." he talked slowly. "The circle always has men and women, but the thing is---the way it works in our world, changed.The woman gives birth to girl, the guy gives birth to a boy and this girl and boy--" He put his index fingers together. "--can't generate a male." He looked at them like he was explaining it really simply. "The woman can't give birth to a boy and the man can't give birth to a girl, the circle keeps going like this." He looked at Gulf. "But if the guy gives birth to a girl, maybe the girl---" he put his fingers together again. "--can get together with a boy and give birth to a boy." He opened his palms, looking at them with his really enthusiastic eyes. "Do you get it now?"

"Are you making scenarios of a 4 months old baby, giving birth?" Mew raised his eyebrows.

"Oh my god." Gulf mumbled under his breath before opening the bottle and drinking some water again.

"This is huge, this can be--"

"Phi---slow down, okay?" Mew put his hands up. "Let's just---think about it for a while and--we will see each other next month."

"Next month? Do you want me to hide this information for a whole month and--"

"Yes." Mew turned at him again. "I want you to do that."

"But--"

"You know that they are going to use him like a lab rat." Mew said in a lower tone after getting close to him. "Don't do this." He looked at him with sincere eyes, knowing that Non didn't mean any harm but he was really excited.

"But it doesn't have to be the bad option, maybe it's something good."

"Yes---but we can't be sure yet, right?" Mew said after turning his back at Non again, holding Gulf's arm gently and helping him to stand up.

"What if it's the bad call?" Non asked and Mew stopped, looking at him. "What's going to happen then?" He asked like he knew what Mew was trying to do, they became friends during this months and Non was smart enough to see the way he cared for the younger one. "They might want to take Gulf back and--"

"Nobody's taking him anywhere." Mew stopped him with a steady voice when Gulf was grimacing with the pain he felt in his body because of the beat from earlier, wrapping his arm around of the older's shoulder.He paused, not because of the comment but because of Mew's tone and the way he slightly grabbed his arm tighter than a second ago.

"This can change everything, Mew." The doctor looked at him with serious eyes. "Good or bad, we can't hide it for long."

"I got it." Mew said, seeming like he was starting to get annoyed as he loosened his grip again, pulling Gulf towards the door. "Let's think about it for a while." He said and Gulf kept staying quiet, looking at the doctor and seeing him nodding, seeming worried now as his excited face disappeared.

They both remained silent during the car ride, their minds were really fucked up and this day was already being too much for Gulf.He already had one mental breakdown, he got beat up and now his swollen eye was actually hurting, so he chose to close his eyes and lean back, trying to think about the things the doctor said.

"Do you want me to turn the lights off?" Mew asked as he stood beside the wall, only having his gray shorts on him.

"What if it's a bad call?" Gulf asked the same question after hours.They didn't exchange any words and it was already dark outside, Gulf was curled up on the couch with his black shorts and blue tank top. "What if--" Gulf turned his head, looking at Mew. "--it's a good call? That's even worse, it means they will..--they won't even wait her to be an adult, they will start their experiment on a baby and--" He was saying his thoughts loudly but stopped when Mew turned the lights off.He was confused, but then watched the guy coming closer to him.They were in the living room and being on a high floor like that was allowing them to see around with the city lights help.

Mew sighed, sitting beside Gulf's head as the boy was still laying on the couch.Messy haired boy got a little surprised at that, they were close and actually friends now, but they never got this close at all.He didn't got up or move, just tilted his head a bit and looked at Mew from the place he was laying down.

"Did you notice it?" Mew asked, causing Gulf to furrow his eyebrows. "It hurts, right?" He reached out and touched Gulf's swollen eye softly, checking the red part.But Gulf didn't even move away cause it was such a gentle touch, he felt Mew's thumb ghosting over his eyelid for a second and that was all. "But does your stomach hurt?" He asked as he looked down at Gulf and younger kept blinking for a while, realizing what Mew meant.

"Who did it?" Mew asked again, his tone was soft but it was obvious that he was worried about this all situation too.Gulf tried to focus on his question since Mew didn't pull his hand away after the touch and it was actually resting on his cheek now.

"I told you, I didn't--"

"You are lying, Gulf." Mew said and Gulf stared at him for a while, getting the fact that Mew smelled something wasn't right.

Younger sighed, closing his eyes before putting his palms on the couch and pulling himself up, placing his head on Mew's leg before looking at him again.

"Will you believe me if I say that it was for a good reason?" 

Mew looked at him for a while, he then nodded softly.

"Okay but-- you can't get yourself into things like that again, it could end up really bad."

"I know, I know." Gulf closed his eyes and Mew's stare got softer when he saw the boy putting his hands on his stomach.He never did that when Mew was around. "Do you remember when you saw me in the barn, Phi?" He mumbled without opening his eyes and it let Mew be able to look at his face without averting his gaze.

"Mh." He mumbled, brushing the boy's long curls back softly.Remembering that scene actually hurt his heart, he could still remember how lifeless Gulf seemed, he was beyond hopeless and Mew never felt that emotion till his bones until he saw the boy like that.

"Even at that time...--I didn't feel like dying." He talked softly and slowly, like he was trying to find the right words. "I felt like dying when she got hurt." He opened his eyes before saying that, looking at Mew with his big and calm eyes, like realizing that was also a surprise for him. "It's so strange, it's insane." He chuckled, shaking his head after hearing his own words but Mew quickly caressed his hair.

"No Gulf, it's more natural then you think." He said softly, making the younger look at him. "In the barn, when you tried that..--you were just scared and panicked." He started to talk, they were alone in the house but for some reason they were both being really quiet and gentle with their tone.It wasn't disturbing, in fact, it was sincere. "Everything you did was normal, Gulf." He was looking down at younger as his thumb caressed over Gulf's forehead. "You wanted her to be gone and tried it, but you couldn't do it.Cause you don't hate her as much as you think." He kept talking and Gulf kept looking at him, listening quietly. "Do you want to know what would happen if I get pregnant tonight?" He asked with a smile and Gulf chuckled, rolling his eyes. "I would freak out, I would never ever accept it for months but if someone would try to take it away from me, I would kill them."

Gulf looked at him for few seconds, he knew Mew was telling the truth.He nodded softly, understanding it better now.

"But still---I can't imagine you pregnant." He chuckled. "--It's just..---arghh!" He made a disgusted face, shaking his head on the guy's legs and making Mew laugh too.

"You're right." Mew ran his fingers between the boy's messy curls. "But it suits you." His expression got serious all of sudden and Gulf was watching his face to see his meaning, but Mew's eyes were focused on the boy's hair, watching his curls getting between his fingers. "I don't think I'm that strong." He added, causing Gulf to stare at him for a while.

The boy let him caress his hair for a while, then he closed his eyes and turned his head.He rested his cheek on Mew's thighs and turned his face to the man's stomach, practically hiding it to not let Mew see his face.

"I'm really glad that we met." He said, his nose slightly touching Mew's bare stomach and his voice disappearing against his skin.

Mew smiled at that and was about to say something back, but Gulf was faster.

"But it's okay." He continued. "If it's a bad call, I wouldn't mind you to let them handle this.I mean it, Phi." He said and there was a silence for few minutes.

"Really?" Mew asked after a while, puckering his lips and still watching his fingers between the boy's dark curls. "You wouldn't miss me at all?" He asked and watched Gulf revealing his face, with his angry stare.

"I'm being serious, Phi."

"Good for you." Mew looked back at him. "I'm being serious too, you are staying with me and nobody is taking you anywhere.We are a duo, team or whatever you want to call, we come as a set." He said and smiled as he heard Gulf's sigh.

"You really want some trouble, don't you?" Gulf looked at him and Mew chuckled. "It's a girl Phi, you didn't sign up for this."

"What I signed up for doesn't mean anymore." Mew stopped playing with his hair, letting it rest between his curls as he looked at the boy. "You are not a stranger anymore Gulf, I care about you.There is no way for me to let them put needles in you for hours and use you as a rat." He said with a serious tone. "Plus everyone thinks I am the father, so if a girl or boy, I will be the father."

Gulf stayed quiet before sighing dramatically, causing Mew to raise an eyebrows.

"You would be such a terrible father."

"Excuse me?" Mew laughed.

"You get panicked so quickly! I mean--what if she falls off bed? What are you gonna do? Sit down and cry?"

"Why would she fall off the bed?!"

"I don't know, babies fall."

"They don't, if you take good care of them." Mew hit his forehead softly and Gulf chuckled.They were both smiling until Gulf closed his eyes again.

"We are so fucked up, Phi." He mumbled and Mew leaned his head on the couch.

"I know." He mumbled back. "But we are in this together." He added, wrapping his arm on the boy's torso and resting his hand on his shoulder. "So what are you gonna name her?" Mew asked, his eyes were also closed now.

"Oh god...like everything is not enough, I also need to find a name." Gulf said and they both chuckled again. "--we, we also need to find a name." He fixed it, causing Mew to smile softly as the boy adjusted himself and got comfortable on his thigh.They both didn't talk or stood up and leave, they fell a sleep like that after few minutes cause this night they really wanted the other's company.Lately it was like they were each other's secrets, everything they did, every word they said to each other felt private.They shared some kind of connection, they were good at understanding each other and tonight, they both needed to feel that a little bit stronger to be able to get over that day and woke up with a positive mind.

But things didn't go as they planned.

Mew opened his eyes with the pounding on his door, Gulf also getting startled and getting up from his lap.

"What's happening?" Younger one looked at him and they both stared at each other for a while, the banging on the door was not something sweet for sure.They didn't got any guests, not at all.

"Open the door Mew, we need to talk."

Mew sighed deeply after hearing his father's voice.

"He told them." He mumbled, knowing the doctor didn't listen to him and went with his way instead.

"I want to talk, it's not like how imagine it in your head." His dad said and Mew could hear the footsteps.

"Why do you have so many people with you if you just want to talk, dad?" He yelled angrily,knowing his father was trying to get Gulf away since he probably heard about doctor's theories as well.

"You didn't want this, we both know how hard you tried to not go to Area C."His father kept going and Gulf was staring at his back while Mew was busy with staring at door, ruffling his hair again and again like he was trying to find a way out of this but it wasn't going really well.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying--you should let the doctors do their job, it's not a boy so our deal is not valid." His father answered calmly.

"It's still your grandchild!"

"I know!" He yelled back. "And nothing is going to happen to her! Do you think I'm heartless enough to send your child to death just because of experiments?!"

"I can't be sure sometimes!" Mew roared back as he pulled on his hair, not liking this situation.

"You are being sensitive! Nothing is gonna happen!---Doctors are going to their jobs, that's all."

"If that's fucking all---why are you trying to get into my house with an army, dad?!" Mew screamed angrily but he quickly took a step back after hearing the card voice, his father was making them open his apartment door.

"Dad!"

"Yes---it's easier to talk when we don't have a door between us, right?" He smiled after stepping in but Mew was fuming.

"You are not taking him." Mew said in a softer tone as he stepped back until he was in front of Gulf, other men following his dad inside and stopping behind him like dogs, ready to attack anytime he ordered.

"You didn't want this from the start, I'm taking the burden away.You did your part, and this part is--"

"We are friends now! I'm with him for months, dad! He is my nong!" His hand was still facing Gulf when he touched the boy's arm instinctively.

"He can't be your friend, he is not like you." His dad shook his hand on air like it wasn't something important. "Let's just stop this, I don't want to fight with my own son anymore."

"Then you can try to listen to me for once and--" Mew paused when he felt Gulf pushing his arm away.

"It's okay, Phi." Gulf mumbled before taking a step, not hiding behind Mew's back anymore. "We don't have a choice." He said, knowing his father owned this all and if he wanted to take Gulf, he was going to take him.

"See? That's a smart boy there." He pointed at Gulf and chuckled. "It will be so much easier if you just come with us, or else things will get a little bit ugly." He said and it caused Mew to stare at him with disgust.

"Are you actually threatening someone who is carrying your grandchild?" He chuckled angrily, rubbing his face. "That's...---too much, even for you."

"It's okay I will just--" Gulf was about to take another step when Mew grabbed his wrist, really tight.

"I will come with him." He was looking straight at his father. "I'm the father of that child and I have right to see all the progress---all the shit you plan to do to them." He said, his voice sounding really angry like it would feel nice to punch someone right at the moment, his grip also getting tighter on younger's wrist.

"See? That's amazing, we don't have to create a scene." His father smiled, opening his hands. "Let's go." He said, but didn't tell his men to leave, they waited until Mew and Gulf was walking out and Mew knew his father, he would take no risks.He also knew himself, he would actually try to hide Gulf or make a move if there were not so many guys.But he would lose in the end and if his father would take Gulf away with force, he would never tell him where he took the boy.

Mew couldn't risk it either.

They were sitting side by side on the backseat of the car, both of them didn't say anything as they watched the raindrops hitting against the windows.

"It's strange." Gulf mumbled, still looking through the window. "I stayed in Area C for years and...--I never felt this scared." He chuckled, turning at Mew. "What if it's the bad call, Phi?" Ha asked again, looking at Mew with his bambi-like eyes.

 _"Fon."_

Mew said. "How about Fon?" 

Gulf looked at him for few seconds before turning his face at the window again, seeing the rain getting harder than before.

"Fon." He mumbled, it meant rain and somehow it sounded right. "Fon." He repeated, leaning his head on the back of his seat and watching the raindrops until the car stopped.

They both didn't have a good feeling about this, but they were holding on the fact that they were still together.

"Wait--what?----Hey!" Mew was following them with Gulf when he suddenly found himself in a room and heard the lock. "Are you kidding me?! Dad!"

"I'm sorry but you will get hurt if you see the all progress."

"What do you mean---Dad! What do you mean?!" Mew lost it after realizing the real meaning of his father's words and he was forcing the doorknob, slapping it as he kept yelling. "--He's my friend! Don't hurt him!---You can do things without hurting people!---God damn it!" He kicked the door when he heard them walking away.

"Don't be scared!----Gulf!--I will find you! It will be okay!---Gulf!" He kept yelling while hitting on the door but there was no response.He knew younger was already scared and he also knew Gulf would feel better if he was with him, it caused him to hit on the door harder but there was no way for him to get out of there.

"IT'S MY DAUGHTER! DAD!" His fist kept landing on the door but it was no use.

Gulf smiled as he looked back at the door Mew was still forcing to open, maybe it was time for Mew to stop saving him.He did it for a lot of times and maybe this was the dead end.


	11. Mew's Nong

_“Your memory feels like home to me._

_So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you.”_

_**-** _

Mew already had a bad feeling, he knew his father would try something but his mind was too messed up, everything was so new and their current plan needed change with the news Non gave them.He was trying to find a way out, something to make his father listen to him and go with his way, just like before.He managed to do that before so he could do it again if he would be able to find a way, he was distracted, panicked.

Cause he knew his father more than anyone else, he would do everything to end this disease.This thought make him walk inside the room faster, he knew his father wouldn't hesitate to hurt Gulf because of his purpose, he was still not sure about the baby, maybe, but he wasn't sure about him not hurting his grandkid either.

Basically, his father was the last person he could trust.

He did good with not telling him the truth and try to fix the things between them.Cause if he knew the baby wasn't from his bloodline, he wouldn't care about her too.

"I'm going to lose my fucking mind!" He kicked few chairs in front of him, tugging on his hair as he stopped screaming in front of the door and walked towards the window.

He realized that he still got his phone with him and tried to call his dad for few times but of course he didn't answer.He got surprised with the name hi saw on his screen, but quickly answered the call he received.

"Why did you do that?! I told you to wait!" He roared at the phone, he was beyond angry at the moment cause being trapped in there was sending him to edge. "I thought I could trust you---I thought we were fucking friends!"

"I'm sorry----we are friends, Mew."

Mew groaned angrily, rubbing his face and starting to draw circles in the room again, he couldn't stop walking or kicking things cause he was feeling like he was about to explode.

"They would learn it eventually and---I know that you are angry right now but I did the right thing for all of us."

"What do you mean?! You caused them to come to my house with an army, took Gulf away and lock me in a goddamn room! Is this how you fucking help us?!"

"If they would learn that I was lying, they wouldn't let me keep being his doctor."

"Wait---" Mew stopped walking. "--Do you mean--you are still his doctor?"

"Not the only one from now on, but still one of them."

"I'm going to lose my mind---I'm going to lose it." Mew mumbled, rubbing his forehead harshly since he knew his dad would grab the best doctors, best ones were the worst ones in his eyes and he could see the scene they were all towering over Gulf.

He didn't like it.

"You need to calm down, Mew."

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down!" Mew yelled again, Non wasn't familiar with this side of him, nobody was actually familiar with it since Mew tend to solve things without getting this much angry.He was a guy who would like to talk instead of going with the hard way.

But right now, he was really furious.

"He is all alone and he is scared! Do you know what that means?! He never shows his fear and he said that he was scared---that means he is terrified!" Mew kept screaming, not caring about anything else since he saw the way Gulf looked at him in the car, he was scared, for the first time he wasn't even hiding it and Mew knew what it meant.

"I will try to help as much as I can, I'm sorry Mew."

"Yes---be sorry!" Mew yelled before hanging up and throwing the phone over the glass desk without giving any fucks. "Be fucking sorry like it's gonna change something!" He groaned, having an urge to beat the shit out of something to calm down but he only got walls around of him.

After Gulf walked into his life, everything happened so fast.It started with blood, lies, strangeness and distance.But in the blink of an eye it kept going with late night talks, laughs, puzzles and food cans.Mew didn't think anybody could understand the thing between him and Gulf now.He loved Mild too, he was his best friend and everything; but he never felt like this with him.Gulf wasn't just a friend to him, he knew it too, he was something really precious he had to protect cause he had this thought in his head for years.This system was pushing him to hate the way he was, and Gulf was the boy he took from that place.He couldn't do anything to change this all, not now, but he had Gulf and at least he could protect him.He could do that much and it actually made Mew feel better, seeing the way Gulf started to smile with him and actually got comfortable was a sacred feeling.He knew Gulf was feeling the same cause the boy didn't like the way he was either, both of them were supposed to hate each other.Mew admired Gulf for being so brave and strong.He couldn't take a step for the things he found right, but Gulf did, he did it in a place like Area C.Gulf admired him for being normal, looking at Mew like that made Gulf think about the life he could have if he wouldn't turn out to be a fertile.They were both supposed to hate each other but somehow they both found comfort with each other.Day by day, being together got really fun.For Mew, eating dinner with someone was a nice feeling.For Gulf, having someone who looked at him like he was just a boy, was a nice feeling.Both of them were treating each other in a way they actually wanted it all this time, it just happened.

Mew didn't know it but it had a huge effect on Gulf.He was still disgusted by himself when he met with his mom and he got confused when he actually felt a little bit normal when he was with her.Like him having a 'thing' inside his belly was that abnormal, like he wasn't supposed to hate himself that much because of that.And after some time, it happened with Mew too.Older didn't notice it at all, but Gulf did.It was the reason why his aching got so worse and his doctor made that talk about Gulf needing to accept this situation.Cause he wanted to embrace it every time Mew was acting like it was such a holy thing, like it wasn't disgusting as Gulf thought, like it was something to be proud of.These thoughts pushed him to force himself to hate the 'thing' again, and caused that breakdown.It was difficult, but it led something better.

Gulf knew he liked Mew a lot, having him by his side became something so usual, like it was his mom standing by his side.Mew wasn't some guy who had a good heart and wanted to help him, he was like that at first, but now, he was someone Gulf cared about.

It was strange as hell, cause Gulf knew himself.He needed to be furious right now, he was supposed be so angry while that guys were taking him to that room and not even informing him about the things but ordering him to lay on the stretcher.Gulf should've been so angry, he should've create a mess, make a fuss, yell and punch few guys until he was trapped on that stretcher.But he didn't feel like that, he just layed on it like they said and took a deep breathe.

He wasn't feeling angry.

He was scared.

He realized being scared was so much worse than being angry.

The side he created in Area C wouldn't let him feel scared like this, but spending so much time with Mew caused him to let that side go.It wasn't needed anyway, Area X was safe and if something would go wrong, Mew would somehow fix it.That was why his mind was quick to tell that he was Mew's mate when that man didn't stop hitting him.He never thought about this, but deep down he started to rely on Mew more than he thought.

And he knew it wouldn't hurt this much if Mew was there, it was weird, maybe absurd but the thing they pushed under his skin wouldn't hurt that much if Mew was in that room.

He just knew it.

__

_**-** _

__

__

Mew's father sighed after unlocking the door and walking in.Everything in the room was messed up, shattered and ruined.Mew tried to take his anger out of those things but it didn't even work.

He looked at his son who was sitting on the floor, his hair messed up because of tugging on it too much and few buttons of his shirt were opened up.He really looked like a mess.

"We should talk." He said and watched Mew getting up, seeming really drained as he walked up to his father and looked at him.

"Are you going to tell me where he is?" He asked with a hoarse voice and his father just stared at him.

"Then we have nothing to talk about." He said before turning his back at his father and walking out.

_**-** _

__

__

"How do you feel?" Non asked when the boy was finally back into his room.It was probably his room since a week already passed and he kept waking up in there after losing his consciousness in the other rooms.

Gulf didn't say a word, he just turned his back at the doctor and faced the wall while laying on his bed.He never talked to him when others were around, now it was the first time they were alone but Gulf still didn't talk to him.

"Look--" Non said in a lower tone after closing the door. "--I'm sorry, it was the best option for us and--" he sighed, looking at Gulf's back and realizing the boy wasn't really interested in listening his excuses.

"Even if I would hide it for another month, they would learn it and this would happen.I thought--having me between them would be better." He said but the boy still didn't utter a word.Actually even for Non, he was acting strange.Gulf used to get aggressive easily, a lot of their meetings ended up with Non watching Mew trying to stop him from attacking someone.But he was unusually quiet, he did everything he was told and didn't even protest.He didn't react at all.

"I'm sorry, I know it's painful but really--" A nurse walked in and Non had to stop talking.

"Here, painkillers." She said, handing him a small plate and Non watched Gulf taking two pills, drinking the water she offered.He did it really fast like the pain was really bad, but his face didn't show anything or he didn't answer it when Non asked about it.He thought Gulf would also scream at his face like Mew, he was ready to face hem since he didn't mean any harm but he was also trying to help.

"It's not supposed to ache that bad." Non furrowed his eyebrows.He also knew Gulf now since Mew kept grumbling about the way younger never showed how hurt he was and Mew had to realize it by his own.Seeing his grimacing and taking the pills in a heartbeat was enough to make him understand he was hurt, badly.

But Gulf wasn't replying, he turned his back at him again and layed on the bed without giving him any answers.He thought it would get better after a while but even after another week, Gulf still ignored his existence.He wasn't talking to anyone unless the other doctors asked him something, but still Non knew younger would talk to him if the conditions were not like this.

"You shouldn't lay down for a while." Other doctor said after injecting something in his stomach and Gulf just nodded. "We will back after 30 minutes." He informed before leaving but Non didn't leave.

"Here." He took a pill from his pocket. "They are not giving you too many painkillers since it's affecting the tests, but it's okay, it will make you feel better." He said and handed it to him, the boy looked up at him for the first time and just when Non thought they could finally have a conversation, Gulf slapped his hand, causing pill to fall on the other side of his small room.

"Gulf..." The older guy looked at him with sad eyes, he really didn't want things to be like this but he had no choice.He could see how hard it was for Gulf, they were always injecting something, making him sleep, doing tests for hours and adding the stress to this physical pain, Non knew Gulf was in much more pain than he thought.

But he wasn't accepting Non's help even if it was little, he was losing weight again and right now nobody cared about it.They were focused on keeping him alive since they needed to learn what was the deal with the baby, all the kilos Mew fought so hard to make him gain were fading really fast since Gulf's state wasn't good.He didn't talk to anyone, he didn't even have time to think since he was always so exhausted cause the amount of medicine he got in him was crazy, plus their methods were not so thoughtful.Every needle and 'things' Gulf tend to not stare carefully since they terrified him, was hurting him so bad.Not just during the tests but it kept hurting for days, and when they were about to get healed, the doctors were doing them all over again.He was treated like a sample, not a person.He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked so pale, he was looking like when he was in Area C, the exact same look in his eyes.

But this time he wasn't aggressive, he was tired and hurt.

Non sighed deeply as he watched Gulf leaning his head on the wall and closing his eyes since the other doctor told him to not lay down.But he seemed really exhausted.

Non hesitated for a second, checked his watch and realized they wouldn't bother Gulf for a while since they needed to wait for medicine to work before taking few other samples from him.

He walked towards the door and locked it, causing Gulf to open his eyes.But he didn't ask him the reason, he just closed them again, like he wasn't interesting in anything Non offered.

The older guy took out his phone and called the one who was calling him nonstop till the first day they took Gulf in.

"Hello---yes, I'm with him Mew."

Gulf quickly opened his eyes and Non saw the way they changed with the mention of Mew's name, he didn't seem dead like seconds ago.

"Here." He mumbled before handing him the phone and Gulf took it without hesitating.

"Phi?"

"Gulf? Are you okay? I'm so sorry---I said nobody will take you away and they---I'm so sorry but I will fix this, okay?--I just need you to be alright----Are you okay?" Mew started to talk in his panicked tone Gulf was familiar with and it caused the boy to nod without noticing.Non felt bad at the sight, he seemed really happy while talking to him and knowing that he was like a ghost for two weeks was enough to be able to see the difference.

"It wasn't your fault." Gulf said in a low tone.

"I will get you back, we are a duo, remember?" Mew said and hearing his smile through the phone caused Gulf to snort.

"We can't be a duo, I'm technically two at the moment."

"But technically, she is still in you so we can't be a trio before she comes out."

Their usual bickering got them both chuckling.

"Are you okay?" Mew asked again. "Are they hurting you?" He asked in a tiny voice like he was afraid of the answer, already knowing it must be hurtful since his father didn't allow him to stay with Gulf cause he would definitely stop them.Gulf knew it too, he knew Mew really cared and he would be sadder if he said that he was hurt.He never said it loud anyway, it didn't change the fact that Mew knew it.Somehow he always knew it when Gulf was hurt.

"Yes, Phi." He answered with closed eyes and Non was really surprised to see a little tear drop rolling on his cheek. "It hurts--- so bad." He confessed for the first time even though he knew Mew would get sad, he just wanted to act like Mew's nong again cause he wasn't treated like that here.

Mew was quiet on the other side when Gulf sniffled, rubbing his sleeve against to his nose before taking a breath.

"Can't you just--come here?" He asked with a soft voice and Non was surprised at that, he thought younger already knew the facts and he accepted it since he never made a fuss.Gulf wasn't stupid or childish, he must've know his father wouldn't let him come.

"I didn't cause any trouble---I did everything they said." Non turned his back at the boy with that, rubbing his face and closing his eyes as he realized younger was being docile since he thought it would make Mew's father change his mind.

"But Phi---" The doctor didn't hear what Mew said on the phone but he also felt bad when he heard the way Gulf sucked a breathe in, crying softly. "--I can't take it anymore..--" his voice disappeared against to the phone, so low yet so painful.

"Okay---Yes---Yes Phi." He mumbled few words and Non had no idea what they were talking about but when he heard some footsteps, he quickly unlocked the door and took the phone from him, dropping it back to his pocket.

A nurse was back to check on his status and Non watched Gulf brushing his hair back, wiping his eyes and seeming better than minutes ago.

Actually he was a little bit confused when he left the room.He knew Mew and Gulf were close friends, he realized it from the way Mew cared about him since nobody actually cared about their mates that much, even the good ones were just good, they were not like Mew.But seeing the way Gulf only allowed Mew to see that vulnerable side of him, was really dumbfounding for him.He decided to think it was because of all the pressure, stress, pain and the medicines they give to him.Of course he would seek some comfort, not from someone who gave him away but actually from Mew, so it wasn't that weird.

But when he heard some loud voices coming from the entrance later that night, he realized it wasn't just friendship.Maybe they didn't notice it yet but Non was sure, nobody would throw everything to a side and come to face with their father just because a boy cried on the phone.Especially when their father was someone like Mr. Suppasit.

Actually Mew found where they were keeping Gulf, it took him a week.But Mild insisted about him not just rushing there since they wouldn't let him in anyway, his friend said calming down and thinking about it, trying to find a way to save Gulf from this bullshit would help more.

But Mew was done with that way after hearing the boy's voice.

Actually he didn't question it, not even a bit, he just heard the way younger sounded and he decided.Gulf wasn't going to spend another night in there, he wasn't going to let that happen.He didn't think he was acting a little bit extra just for a friend, he was already too furious, going back to his home felt so awful since he was used to have Gulf in there, looking at the half puzzle made it even worse, he wasn't even talking about the untouched cans.

He didn't calculate, didn't question or didn't think about it.

But Non was sure, they had something more than just friendship.

"Do you really want to make it like this? You already know that you won't be able to take a step in if I don't allow you." His father said, appearing behind the guys who were holding Mew back.They literally had to hold him since he tried to storm inside, punched few guys on his way until he was captured by the others.

"Let's make a deal." Mew said, causing Non to get surprised, also his dad.

"What?" Old man furrowed his eyebrows. "A deal for what?"

"A deal for you to let Gulf come back to my place." He was still struggling between the guys when his father made a hand gesture, the 4 guys quickly pulling away from the young man.

"Why do you care so much? He is just a kid and--"

"If you agree on letting him come back and stop this, I will get another mate."

Mew's father got surprised, he looked at Mew with his surprised eyes and Non was even more than surprised.He wasn't expecting something like this.

"What do you mean with stopping this?" The old man asked and Non knew he was interested.

"He will get the normal check-ups, normal medicine and everything will be normal.I will decide what's going to happen to my daughter after she is born." Mew took a step closer to his father, seeming really determined. "You are not gonna pull any other games, he is going to stay with me till the birth and we will discuss the things after birth." He said, causing his father to raise an eyebrow.

"Deal." The old guy said and Non closed his eyes, shaking his head as he watched the scene from the corridor.He knew Mew's father wouldn't let this opportunity to go, someone like him would like to have a lot of grandsons since it was the only thing that mattered in their world at the moment and he had no other legacy than Mew.But Mew being Mew, wouldn't get more than one mate and the fact that his mate was already having a girl was stressing the old man, so this was a deal he couldn't dream of.Either way he was winning.

"But I'm going to choose your mate this time." His father added and Mew just nodded, he wanted to walk further but the guys stood in front of him again.He turned at his father, raising his eyebrows and seeming really impatient.

"Let him." Mr. Suppasit said and Mew didn't waste any seconds as he walked through the corridor.

"Where is he?" He asked to Non after spotting him and Non sighed, making a gesture for Mew to follow him.

This was really getting out of control, in a strange way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for the sweetest comments!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3


	12. The "Daughter"

_"Sometimes two people have to fall apart  
_

_to realize how much they need to fall back together."_

_**-** _

"What's happening--" The doctor seemed surprised as the door opened really loudly like someone was in a rush and he got even more surprised after seeing Mew.He looked at Non, obviously panicked since he thought Mew wasn't supposed to be there but he wasn't brave enough to say something against their boss' son.He took a step away after seeing the way Non shook his head.

"Gulf?" Mew's voice came out weird, like he wasn't screaming his name while they were trying different rooms to find Gulf.Seeing him laying there with closed eyes made Mew feel different.

"He is--not conscious." The doctor said, pointing at the serum which was attached to the boy and started to explain what they were doing to him, but Mew didn't actually care about all of those.

"But--" He tried to stop him but Mew pulled the needle out of Gulf's arm and throw it down.

"When is he gonna wake up?" He asked after taking all the papers from the dumbfounded doctor and taking a look at them.

"---Probably in an hour." He answered, having no idea what was happening.

"Are you sure about it?" 

Suddenly the voice they heard made the two doctors look at the door, but Mew didn't even flinch, he kept reading the files to see what they were doing to Gulf.

"You can't try any games after I get you a mate."

Mew hit the papers on the doctor's chest after getting done, getting up and throwing a stare at his father.

"You know that I won't kill him, why are you doing this?" He asked, seeming actually surprised at the fact that Mew was going this far for the boy.Cause he knew his son, Mew always hated this system and the way it was working, he was the one who tried to convince him to get a mate for years and he did it so damn late, enough to piss off the old man.So he knew Mew would accept anything other than having a mate if he had a chance, right now his father wasn't forcing him to have another one but he was doing it willingly, just for that young boy.

"I think you lost that feeling long time ago, dad." Mew said without looking at him, Non was watching the way he slid his arms under the unconscious boy and carried him in bridal style easily, which hurt Non a bit since he knew Gulf already lost a lot of weight.Seeing the way Mew's eyes changed for a second, Non knew Mew felt it while lifting the boy.

"I don't enjoy watching people getting hurt." He added, looking at his father while holding the boy in his arms.

"It's for--"

"--all of us, science, humanity, yeah, I know." He didn't let his father talk as he passed by the doctors and stood by the door. "You all are losing your senses." He said, looking at Non and turning at his father again. "--acting like robots, hurting people and---not even caring if they are in pain, all alone or feeling hurt---Would you like them to treat me the same if it was me?" He turned at Non again. "Would you like it if he was someone you loved?" He asked, pointing at the boy who was laying between his arms like a dead body. "No?" He raised his eyebrows when nobody answered.

"You are being too emotional, this is--"

"No, dad." Mew didn't let him again. "You are being too cruel." He said before walking away with Gulf, not wanting to spend another minute since he felt like he was getting furious as he kept looking at those people's faces, including his father.They were all acting like it was something normal, but it wasn't.

It was wrong, completely wrong and there was no excuse which could make Mew accept it.

He was still feeling angry after driving the car for a long while.He was mad, he was so mad and nothing was able to make him feel calmer.Even punching those guys didn't work, nothing worked, he couldn't believe some people were able to look at Gulf's face, who was just a fucking kid in his eyes since the boy spent the most important parts of his life in that Area and he was already traumatized by everything they couldn't even see in their dreams, they could look at him being so hurt and sad like that, and they could keep hurting him.

It pissed Mew off.

He didn't want to face with the fact that people could be that cruel.It was okay cause it wasn't their son, brother, anyone they loved.It was okay cause it was some kid nobody cared.

That was wrong and Mew wanted to punch everyone who thought it was right, punch them again and again until their thick skulls would get it right.

Gulf was still asleep when he stopped the car beside the lake.He turned his face to younger and leaned his cheek on his seat, staring at Gulf with his calm eyes.

He knew the boy deserved so much more, he already saw how good Gulf was in his heart.He was someone Mew wanted to be. he didn't hesitate to punch someone in the face when he saw them treating the others bad, he didn't flinch to scream at their face.Gulf didn't care about what was going to happen to him, he couldn't stay quiet in front of heartless people like them and it was the most precious thing in the kind of world they lived in now.Cause everybody was turning into those people, they were not thinking about the chance of themselves being a fertile, any of them could turn out to be a fertile and it was enough to make people treat them with kindness.But the lucky ones were acting like they were the chosen ones so they were using the power they had to make others life harder.They should've treat fertile ones better than themselves, not kicking them into a dirty place like Area C but giving them somewhere even better than Area X.This way all of those kids would grow up with a strong mindset, not trying to not get raped or beaten up, Gulf wouldn't suffer this much if that place was actually somewhere designed to help fertile ones.No, it was designed to make them understand they didn't matter, when they mattered the most.

Mew sighed deeply, he was lost in his thoughts again while knowing he had no power to change anything.

He couldn't sleep for a lot of nights since his mind kept wandering around, thinking about Gulf and any way he could fix this up; again and again.

So it felt good to be side by side with the boy again.Gulf wasn't awake but it was enough for Mew, it was really quiet and the sounds of the waves were also soothing.It didn't take long for him to get pulled into sleep.

It was already bright outside when Gulf opened his eyes.He couldn't keep them open for long since a strong and sharp pain hit him right in his groin.He quickly closed his eyes, hissing and grimacing as he waited for the pain to get better.Soon he noticed he wasn't laying down, he was actually sitting and took few seconds for him to see Mew.

He quickly turned his head around, realizing they were in his car and somewhere away from the place he was held in.

"But..--how?" He mumbled, looking down and seeing he still had the hospital dress on him. "Did he--?---Am I dreaming?" He kept mumbling to himself, not knowing what to believe since the medicines they gave to him fucked his mind up a lot, so he was confused.

"P'Mew." He called him softly, reaching out and poking the guy's shoulder.

"Oh---you are awake." Mew quickly opened his arms, running his hand inside his hair and getting himself together.

"Did you---This is a dream, right?" He asked, but more like he was talking to himself since he just sighed after the question and leaned his back, closing his eyes. "This is the lake in my town---I'm fucking dreaming." He turned at Mew again. "I was happy for a second." His lips got into a pouty shape and Mew puckered his lips, forcing himself to not smile.

"Happy? I thought you said you wouldn't miss me." He played along, leaning his back on the seat and looking outside.

"Well---you could just come and take me!" Gulf suddenly said in a loud and whiny voice, Mew got surprised for a second since Gulf never acted like that but he quickly fixed his face, realizing the boy was acting like that cause he still thought it wasn't real.

"You said we were a duo and look at me---They kept poking things inside me everyday." He sighed tiredly. "Of course I miss you." He looked at Mew without flinching, probably because he thought it was a dream. "I even miss your stupid vegetable cans." He pouted so hard before ruffling his hair angrily and Mew's eyebrows got into a shape as the same every time he saw an adorable thing, the corner of his lips lifted up slowly since younger was being really cute at the moment. 

"I wanted to take you to your mother but since you seem really sick and tired, I thought---stopping by would make you feel better." Mew said, causing Gulf to tilt his head and look at him with his big and confused eyes.

"It's not a dream." He smiled, reaching out and flicking the boy's forehead softly. "I got you back."

"---Are you serious?" Gulf's eyes wandered around again, trying to be sure that it wasn't a dream.

"Do you want me to slap you?" Mew asked and leaned closer without getting an answer, pinching the boy's cheek. "See? You still have no cheeks." 

Gulf looked at him while rubbing his cheek.

"I have cheeks." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"How did you get me out of there? When do we have to go back?" 

"We are not going back." Mew said, pulling back and grabbing a bottle of water from the backseat, opening it before handing it to the boy. "I made a deal with dad, so it will be fine."

"A deal?" Gulf seemed surprised.

"We will talk about that later, all you need to know is we are back to normal and they won't take you again." He said with a firm voice and then pointed at the bottle. "Drink some." He said and Gulf obeyed, already feeling thirsty.

"You really missed me, huh?" Mew teased after a while and Gulf put the bottle down, remembering the things he said.

"Shut up." He mumbled before getting out of the car and Mew quickly followed.

"But you were saying--" His grin quickly disappeared when he saw the way Gulf took a step out but grimaced quickly as his hand found his stomach. "--Are you hurt?" He rushed to younger's side. "Should we let them check before we go back to home? Maybe--"

Gulf chuckled softly, causing his pain to get a little sharper.He actually missed Mew panicking over him like this.

"It's okay Phi---I wanna have some fresh air." He said, grabbing Mew's arm and older accepted it quickly, helping Gulf to take few steps until they were leaning against the car and facing the lake.

"They didn't take you out." Mew stated, realizing it just now.He felt the anger growing up inside him again and sighed deeply, trying to control himself as he rubbed his face.

Gulf didn't say anything, the weather was nice since it was early in the morning.It was kind of chilly and Gulf missed to feel the wind against his face like that.

He nudged Mew's shoulder.

"Did you miss me?" He asked with a smile, which kicked Mew's all anger out all of sudden and made the older chuckle.

"Why I should miss a brat like you?" He teased back and Gulf puckered his lips.

"I thought you liked me a little."

"Well, you were wrong." Mew said with a smile. "I like Fon, I missed her--- not you." He pointed at his stomach.

"I don't think she missed you." Gulf said as he put a hand over his belly and Mew opened his mouth like he was deeply hurt.

"What do you mean? I'm sure she likes me." Mew nudged his arm back but Gulf quickly returned the nudge.

"No, she doesn't."

"Hey!" He touched younger with his elbow this time and Gulf let out a chuckle, biting his lip in the end since laughing made him feel extra pain.

"Your stomach is still not showing." Mew said, his eyes fixed on the boy's hospital dress, where Gulf's palm was resting on.

"You would like to tease me about having a round belly, right?" Gulf said and Mew chuckled at that.

"Come on." He nudged the boy's shoulder again, they were leaning against to the car side by side and it felt really nice. "They say you can feel her movements during next months, imagine feeling a kick." 

"I would like her to stay still, she is giving me enough pain."

"Come on!" Mew nudged his arm again. "Imagine her responding when you do this--" Mew poked his stomach through the hospital gown and Gulf smiled, pushing his hand away.

"Why do I feel like you are more excited than me and---Phi!" He chuckled when Mew kept trying to poke his stomach.

"It's not even showing---" Mew pouted. "It should get bigger so we can play."

"Play?" Gulf looked at him. "You are unbelievable." 

"Why? Don't you like it?" Mew grinned. "How about--" He started to poke his belly again.

"Stop it already---Phiiii--" Gulf kept trying to push his arm and soon they were both laughing again.They were not even back at home but it already felt like home.

_-_

Non tried to ignore Mew's hard stare as he checked on Gulf's wounds.Mew was already angry and seeing the wounds on his stomach after taking him home didn't help at all.He spent the all night with thinking how hurt Gulf was supposed to be and still smiling, telling him that he missed him like that.

Mew was a peaceful guy, he never had murderous thoughts, till now.

"Why does he have so many wounds?" He asked after the doctor's treatment was done. "I thought you said you were going to help." He stared at Non while handing Gulf his t-shirt.Usually the boy pulled it up during their visits to the doctor but this time Mew made a fuss about him taking it off since he must've more wounds, and he wasn't wrong.

"I tried my best." 

"I'm sure." Mew raised his eyebrows. "I read some files, were you guys trying to understand she was diseased?"

Non nodded while putting his staff back into his bag.

"I saw some tests about Gulf, not the baby." Mew looked at him curiously and Non nodded again.

"We were trying to see if his body would be able to handle with this."

"What does that mean?" Mew furrowed his eyebrows. "You said he was all good a month ago, why would you test that?"

"It's complicated, we've never seen a girl growing up in any fertile's body, so they wanted to make sure."

"And?" Gulf looked at the doctor.

"You are not perfect vessel." He said honestly. "But you are good." He added.

"Of course he is not perfect vessel, if you keep creating holes on him and lock him into a room without any information----I'm afraid he can't be the perfect vessel." Mew grumbled angrily, earning a sigh from the doctor.

"I know that you are still mad at me, but I had no other choice." He looked at Mew. "They were gonna try to end the pregnancy if I wasn't there."

"What?" They both looked at the doctor with shock.

"They made a lot of tests because of that, to see if the baby was good news.If there was a possibility for her being the bad news, something worse than we already have, they were going to end the pregnancy."

"But--you can't be sure unless she is born, right?" Mew asked, his eyes still seeming so surprised at this new information.

"Yes---but he is the only person who has the ability to have a female baby inside him, and even if there is a small chance of her being diseased or useless, they wanted to end pregnancy since they don't want to spend months with waiting for her birth time."

"Wait---wait." Mew stood up, chuckling angrily and shaking his head. "Are you telling me that--you guys were thinking about ending his pregnancy to get him impregnated again?"

The doctor nodded, watching Mew walking towards the other side of the room and rubbing his face for few minutes before coming back.Gulf remained silent, Non tried to see how he was feeling through his face but he kept a straight face.

"He told me--" Mew seemed angry again, pointing at the door as his voice got louder than before. "--he told me that he wouldn't hurt my daughter!"

Gulf looked at him quietly, seeing how furious he got in few seconds.He tilted his head and watched the way Mew was throwing a tantrum, he was acting like the baby was his.It caused Gulf to imagine how Mew would act if the baby was actually his.

Non had to calm Mew down with saying he wouldn't allow that, he tried to explain it to Mew before but the guy was already too much angrier than Non thought he would be and if he would tell him the real reason why they wanted to have tests on Gulf, Mew would definitely lost it.So Non chose to keep an eye on Gulf, quietly effecting others ideas and trying to convince them letting Gulf keep the baby was the best decision.

"I wouldn't let them do that." Non said before leaving the house. "I know you don't trust me, but I wouldn't let them." He repeated and somehow Gulf knew he was sincere.Other guys in there wouldn't think twice before ending his pregnancy, but Non would definitely snitch on them and let Mew stop them before doing it.

After that talk Mew realized if he wouldn't go there at that night and make a deal with his father, it could be too late.

"He thinks that it's my child---He thinks that it's my unborn daughter and he was still going to--"

"I would also believe it." Gulf suddenly said.Non left a while ago but Mew was still shaken because of the things he heard.He knew they were hurting Gulf and probably testing for some stuff he wouldn't like to know, but he never thought they would go that far.They were not even thinking about ending the pregnancy because she could be diseased, they just wanted to end it if she wasn't useful cause this way Gulf could have another baby faster.It was making Mew fell sick.

"What?" Mew turned at him, he was walking around the house, trying to stop himself from going out and finding his father. 

"I would also believe that you are the father." Gulf chuckled. "Sit down for a while, Phi." He said calmly, like he wasn't there while Non told them the real purpose of this all.

"Come on." Gulf patted beside him on the couch and Mew seemed confused as he obeyed, coming closer and sitting beside younger.

"They didn't do it." Gulf said as he grabbed Mew's arm, squeezing it as it was on older's leg. "It's like the tenth time you saved someone from ending it, including me." He chuckled again but Mew furrowed his eyebrows, closing his eyes and shaking his head no.

"It's not like that--"

"It is like that." Gulf didn't let him, he smiled since he knew Mew wasn't like the way he talked about himself.It was actually so adorable since it was Gulf himself who was talking shit about himself, but Mew couldn't even stand that.

"You are fuming for days and it's all good, I'm okay." He patted on older's hand after crossing his legs on the couch and moving closer to him. "You need to stop being so angry, it's weird." He smiled. "I never thought you could get that much angry.You seemed like someone who wouldn't punch back after getting punched---well," he grinned. "--you didn't punch me back when I punched you."

Mew finally smiled, still seemed tensed when he shook his head.

"I told you, I'm not like that with everyone." He said while placing his hand on Gulf's, which caused younger to look at their hands.

"I was feeling like I forgot something---thank you for reminding me." He suddenly said with a smile, squeezing Gulf's hand before standing up. "You said you missed the cans so--"

"Phi!" Gulf whined, throwing himself on the couch as the guy walked towards the kitchen.

"It's not that bad!" Mew said, coming back with a can and spoon.

"It is! Did you ever try it?" Gulf glared at him. 

"No cause I keep them all for my precious mate." Mew teased and Gulf just rolled his eyes while taking the can and spoon from him.He was about to grumble when they heard the door.Gulf got startled and Mew was quick to notice it.Younger was used to stand up for himself and don't feel scared easily, but he knew the days he spent in that place was enough to make him don't want to go there again.

"It's fine---don't worry." Mew said with a calm tone and smiled at him before opening the door.

"Aren't you going to invite us inside?" His father said when Mew just stared at him for a while, still thinking about his dad was about to kill his unborn child without hesitating.

He didn't say anything, just opened the door and let him walk in with the boy beside him.

"Okay, let's keep it simple---oh, how are you?" He stopped after seeing Gulf. "--I didn't notice that you lost that much weight, you should take good care of him." He said, turning at Mew who was closing the door and earning a death glare. "Anyway, he is 18 years old and--"

"Lhong?" Gulf furrowed his eyebrows after seeing the boy behind the guy. 

"Oh, you already know each other?" Mew's father looked at the boy and then Gulf. "Sounds amazing." He smiled. "I guess you will get along well." He said before walking towards his son and patting his shoulder. "Let's see how you will handle it with your way." He said in a soft tone before walking out.

This was the first time Mew actually got personally involved, put his hand under rock about something he didn't like.He always hated this but he never did something to change it, this was the first time he was taking action and he knew his father was aware of it too.

He sighed deeply after his father left and tilted his head, was about to explain it to Gulf.But his eyes got bigger and he quickly rushed towards them when Gulf grabbed the boy's collar in a heartbeat.

It seemed like the first meeting wasn't going to end up well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Hello Lhong~~ 5555 tell me your opinions please! I hope you like it, I know it's kinda complicated but I'm trying my best to make you guys understand my messy thoughts easily :D Love y'all!!!!!


	13. Closer

_"What a plot twist you were."_

_-_

"Gulf!"

"Let me go!"

Mew managed to pull younger away from the new boy, they obviously knew each other and he was sure of the fact that Gulf didn't like the boy at all.

"Give us a second---okay?" He told the boy while trying to hold Gulf, not allowing him to reach to the boy since he felt like Gulf was about to give him a nice punch in the face.

"What are you doing?! Let me go---Do you know what he did---Why is he here?!" Gulf screamed angrily, not even being able to finish his sentences cause he was fuming at the moment and Mew was kind of surprised at that.He saw the boy like this for a lot of times but after taking him out of Area C, it didn't happen that much, not on this level.

"He is---wait--" Gulf suddenly stopped, looking at Mew when older pushed him inside another room and closed the door. "--Was that..--the deal?" He furrowed his eyebrows, walking closer to the older. "Did you---agree on having another..--" He paused and started to laugh, causing Mew to lean his back on the door and let out a sigh.

"Did you fucking agree on having another one from Area C?!"

"What I was supposed to do?!" Mew suddenly yelled back and Gulf wasn't expecting that. "They were cutting you like a damn vegetable and---do you know how hard it was for me?! I couldn't do anything!"

Gulf stopped for a while, watching Mew yelling at him like that was a new thing but he could also feel something else in his eyes, he wasn't sure what it was.

"So this was your solution?" He asked in a lower tone, looking at Mew.

"Yes, it was." Mew answered quickly and took a step closer to younger. "Nobody is gonna touch you, no more tests, no more wounds---nothing." 

Gulf gulped at Mew's tone, not showing it on his face and standing still but also feeling older's pain as he talked in a desperate tone like that.

"You are gonna stay with me, see your mother whenever you want, have Fon---and I will decide what's going to happen to her since I'm the goddamn father!" He yelled in front of younger and this was the highest tone of Mew, even Gulf wasn't so familiar with it he didn't actually felt triggered, actually he was standing there really calmly like Mew's anger suppressed his so quickly.

"This was the only way." Mew sighed before walking towards the window and ruffling his hair, dropping himself on the couch. 

"So--" Gulf walked to him after few minutes of silence. "--is he going to stay here?"

Mew just nodded.

"Yeah good---then I'm leaving."

"Are you serious---Gulf!" Mew quickly followed younger out and the new boy who got Gulf really, really angry was sitting on the couch with an innocent face.He watched Gulf storming upstairs and then Mew following the boy.

"You did it for my sake, right?! So---let me go and stay with my mom then!" Gulf kept yelling angrily, heading to his room and grabbing his backpack, starting to put his clothes in it.

"You know that I didn't mean that!"

"What do you mean then?!" He threw the backpack on the bed, turning at Mew with his furious face. "Am I supposed to be one of your bitches?!"

"Again?!" Mew yelled back. "How many times we are going to come back to this!?"

Gulf shook his head angrily, ignoring him and getting closer to him as he stared into his eyes. "What---Are you going to impregnate him?" He asked, his tone was low but it was more hurtful than the way he screamed, his eyes seemed disgusted. "--and take us both to the doctor like your fucking puppies?!" He pressed his index finger on the guy's shoulder but Mew didn't seem like he mind it.

"Calm down for a second and--"

"Am I supposed to keep staying here and watch you suffer?" Gulf looked at him, causing Mew to stop and look back into his eyes since he thought younger was only angry about the new boy.

"Am I supposed to look at your face while knowing that you did it for me and...---and you have to do the thing you hate the most?" His voice cracked somewhere between the words and Mew's face softened at that, he quickly shook his head no but Gulf pulled back, grabbing his backpack again. "Don't bother---don't lie to me, I know you better than that." He mumbled, cause he knew Mew tried to help him that day since older didn't want to have a fertile, impregnate someone and felt like those human scraps, Mew did this to be able to find a way out for both of them.But now he made this deal to be able to take Gulf back from that place and it was making Gulf feel furious, this wasn't fair, not at all.

"Fuck this!" He dropped one of his shirts and threw the backpack angrily. "I shouldn't have call you..---I should have just..--" He sat on the bed, taking his face between his hands and exhaling loudly. 

"...just what? Let them kill her?" Mew asked in a softer voice than minutes ago and Gulf was about to tilt his head for another screaming session, but he stopped when he felt Mew's hand on his hair.

"You did the right thing." Mew said, caressing the boy's curls softly. "Nothing's your fault." 

Gulf sighed deeply before tilting his head and looking at Mew.

"Whose fault is it then?" He asked with his glassy eyes and it was the only view Mew needed to forget about his all anger, cause really, these rare times were reminding him the fact that Gulf is still so much younger than him and he wasn't grown enough to handle all of this, physically and emotionally.

He quickly got on his knees in front of the boy and looked at him.

"It's not your fault, it was my choice." Mew repeated but Gulf remained quiet.His mind was a mess right now, he didn't like where this was going, he didn't actually know why but he was feeling much angrier than he showed and it was only about Mew having another mate.It wasn't like he was his real mate, yes they lied to everybody but still, Gulf didn't like that.Plus it was Lhong, Gulf would trust a wall rather than trusting him and even seeing him in the living room of Mew was enough to disturb Gulf.

His thoughts were interrupted when Mew let out a sigh and turned his back at him, dropping down and sitting on the floor between his legs.

"Congratulations, now Fon definitely hates me." he said, not joking but sounding actually tired as he rested his head against the boy's thighs. "I'm sorry Gulf, I really am." He mumbled and Gulf wasn't able to see it but he closed his eyes for few seconds.He was feeling really awful to make Gulf feel guilty for this, he tried to fix things but seeing the boy getting sad again was enough to prove him that he wasn't doing good.

Younger one licked his lips before reaching out, he hesitated for a second and pulled his hand back when he was about to touch Mew's hair.

"She doesn't." He mumbled.

Mew nodded softly before slowly standing up.

"I will drive you there."

"No I can--"

"It's a long way, it's fine." Mew didn't let him disagree and left the boy alone, going downstairs before heading out.

Gulf stayed on the bed for few minutes before getting up and grabbing his backpack.He didn't even look at the other boy as he walked towards the door.

"You are still the same." Lhong commented when Gulf was about to walk out, and he stopped. "You are not good at sharing, right?" He stood up, raising his eyebrow and looking at Gulf. "What is it again drama queen? You wanted your rich sweetheart only for yourself?"

Gulf sighed angrily before turning at the other boy.

"What? Have you fallen in love with him or something?" Lhong chuckled. "Then it will be really heartbreaking for you to watch me having his son, I suppose." he smiled at Gulf and the boy was holding himself so hard to not jump on him cause he really didn't like Lhong, not even a bit.

"It's good for you to go away, you know---I heard that you are having a girl." He chuckled as he walked closer to Gulf. "I wasn't even surprised, I always knew something was off with you."

"Oh, you bet." Gulf tilted his head. "You didn't change either, Lhong." He looked at him. "You always wanted to have the things I had." He took a step closer to him too, showing that he was still the same Gulf and he could beat him up until he coughed blood, cause Lhong experienced that before. "Let me guess..--his father chose you right?" He smiled. "Do you wonder why he chose you between that many boys?" He leaned towards Lhong's ear. "Cause you are a slut." He whispered and Lhong's expression went dark for a second but he quickly pulled it off, smiling and backing away.

"Someone is angry." He said while walking back to the couch. "Just go to your mama and let me handle with the man." He sat down again, smiling and looking at Gulf. "He will forget you in a week, I promise." He said with his annoying smile that Gulf was used to see and he just rolled his eyes, turning his back at him and slamming the door after walking out.

Lhong always pissed him off, he never ever agreed on something with him cause he knew Lhong was the spy in them.He never got raped, he never got treated like them, he wasn't so skinny like others and the fact that a lot of guys were able to use the boys before actually having them as their mates were so suspicious since people were paying off the guards but also having too much information about the boys in there.Gulf always knew Lhong was snitching on them, few boys he used to take care of told him some stories which made him sure, but he never had any evidence and everybody liked Lhong, so that boy was always in advantage.

It was dead quiet during the long ride cause Gulf was thinking so hard, it was bad for Mew to have a mate, a real one but it was Lhong, which made Gulf think even harder since that boy could do anything to get what he wanted.Gulf knew Mew wasn't stupid, no, he was really smart, but he was also soft-hearted and Gulf saw the way Lhong tricked everybody in there, he knew he would never let Mew see the face Gulf saw on him, he would pull the poor boy image since everybody knew Mew was a nice guy and he never hurt someone from Area C.

"Can you text me--like everyday?" Mew's voice made Gulf look at him and realize that they were already in front of his house. "Just to make sure nothing happened." Mew added and Gulf just nodded, he quickly threw himself out of the car since he was getting a strong urge to tell Mew to drive back.

He knocked on his door, not looking back even though he knew Mew was still not driving but waiting for him to enter, he tried hard to not look back.Cause something was actually pushing him to go back there and not let Mew alone with that guy.

"Gulf!" His mother smiled brightly at the moment she opened the door. "Oh my dear---have you lost weight again?" She quickly noticed it and Gulf had to drag her inside when she started to ask why Mew was driving but not coming inside.

He didn't want to tell his mother what was happening cause he knew she liked Mew, she thought they were actual mates and it was Mew's kid inside Gulf.So if the boy would tell her about Mew having another mate, she would think the guy was using him, when he wasn't.

"A girl?" His mom chuckled, covering her mouth before standing up.She seemed really excited and actually the only one who reacted with a smile was his mother.It caused Gulf to smile softly, watching his mother getting so happy over the news for few seconds, then remembering it wasn't supposed to be like that and getting worried about Gulf's safety.He had to tell her that he was going to be fine since Gulf father was an influential guy and he was taking care of them, which was a big fat lie.

"Fon?" She smiled at the name. "It sounds sweet."

Gulf nodded and took a sip from his coffee.He saw his mom noticing the backpack he brought and didn't even ask anything, she was actually letting him tell everything really slowly, not pushing him or seeming stressed to see him.In fact, she was really cheerful and happy.

"Do you want me to turn off the lights?" She asked and Gulf just nodded, trying to stop thinking about how similar she sounded with Mew.It was really strange for Gulf cause he could see it in Mew's eyes, just like how it was with his mom.She was asking small things, wanting to do small things for him like he wasn't able to do them, it was the purest way of showing her care and the way she looked at him was the only proof Gulf needed.But he could also see it with Mew, at first it wasn't there, Mew was the nicest guy ever and had only good light inside his eyes as he did things for Gulf.But after some time he recognized it, he was looking at him with the same way his mom did, like he cared about him, a lot.

He sighed loudly before turning to his left side, not being able to sleep since he kept thinking about Mew's house.Knowing that fucker was staying with Mew made him furrow his eyebrows as he closed his eyes, trying to sleep but ending up with rolling on the bed, left to right, it didn't matter, he wasn't able to sleep.

He spent so much time with Mew and it caused him to forget the fact that everybody in Area C would kill to be on his place.Lhong was a smart one and he wouldn't do anything wrong, at least not when Mew could see, and the idea of someone like him carrying Mew's child was pissing him off, so bad.

"So, you are not going back?" His mother asked in the morning, placing a cup of tea in front of him.

"I don't know." Gulf answered and she just nodded, not asking further.She took him out, they went to shopping and it was pretty fun, Gulf missed to act normal since nothing was normal in his life anymore.But somehow his mom always found a way to make things normal, like it had never been abnormal at all.

But there was a small problem.

Even after three days, he was still feeling like this place was somewhere he was just staying at.

He spent his childhood in there and yes his best memories was there, but he kept feeling like he had to go back to Mew's place.That house wasn't even his, nothing inside that house was his, it didn't make sense but he was feeling it.

He sighed after getting under his blanket, sleeping on the couch again since he liked it better.The light were off when he grabbed his phone and sent Mew another emoji, he sent him emojis for the previous days, obviously not knowing what to say.

Mew saw it way too quick and Gulf was still staring at the screen when he saw the other was typing.Mew didn't give him a reply till now and Gulf knew he didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

He was typing for a long time and Gulf was waiting, wondering what other was going to say.

_"Good night."_

He knew it wasn't the first thing Mew typed down and it kind of made him feel bad for some reason.He didn't reply and just put the phone away.

He didn't know what he was expecting, why he was this mad, or anything.He was with his mother, Mew allowed him to stay there and wasn't it what he wanted from the start? Yes, he didn't accept his condition and all but now he was familiar with Fon, kind of.He was still not a fan but he was okay.His all problems were solved in a way, but why he was still not able to sleep peacefully and not feeling completely sincere with his home.

His home was this place, not Mew's house.

Yes, Mew never wanted a mate but like he said, it was Mew's choice.Gulf also knew he would do the same thing for Mew, cause they cared about each other and they wouldn't let the other get hurt like he did, Gulf would do what he could do, just like Mew.

So why he was still not feeling good? Why he wasn't smiling or enjoying anything? Why his mind kept wandering around Mew, thinking about Lhong and what he was doing in that home like it was his home and Lhong just disturbed him?

"Are you okay?" His mom asked softly and he realized that she just asked something but he wasn't paying attention.

"Yes---I'm sorry." 

She sighed, smiling gently before sitting across him.

"Aren't you gonna tell me what happened?" She asked but Gulf just shook his head no.

"It's too complicated." He mumbled, not wanting to ruin her life more than this cause he knew she would fall apart if she knew the truth.

"I don't think so." She suddenly said and caused Gulf to look at her.

"What?"

"I don't think it's complicated." She looked back at him. "You look like you miss him."

"Mom!" 

"What?" She chuckled. "You are not even here, you keep staring at the walls and doors for hours."

"What---I'm just--"

"Look, I'm not gonna tell you what you should do." She reached for his hand and Gulf was puzzled, he didn't think her mom would actually want him to go back. "Sometimes taking a break from things is good--" she patted on his hands. "--it makes you realize if you miss them, or feel better without them." She said, looking at him with a smile. "If you want to stay, sure, I will be more than happy." She chuckled. "But if it's the first option, you shouldn't force yourself to do something you don't want to do."

"But---what if it's the right thing?" He looked at his mom and she shook her head no.

"I gave you two options, did I mention anything right or wrong?" She smiled like she already knew what was going on inside her son's head. "It's either you miss them or don't want them, that easy." She caressed his hand before standing up. "You should decide before it's too late." She said while walking to the kitchen. "I think Fon would like him too, anyway--what do you want for dinner?" She added with a grin and before Gulf could say something she quickly changed the topic.

If Gulf needed to be honest, he definitely missed Mew more than he thought he would.He was always thinking about him, he was probably leaving Lhong alone at home since he was going to work and it irked him so bad, imagining Lhong living in the place he felt like home.

He wasn't a kid, he knew he would miss Mew.But he was missing him on a level where he wasn't even able to enjoy his day.

He kept thinking about what his mom said, but it was more complicated than she thought.There was another fertile in his house now and Gulf didn't know what he was supposed to do.He would probably kill that boy in the first day since Lhong would brag about Mew, plus imagining him getting impregnated by Mew also pissed him off.Everything pissed him off.

But he wanted to go back, he didn't even want to leave in the first place.He left because he felt hurt, he didn't want to see Mew having a fertile because of him when he actually hates it and would never do it.But now, he missed Mew.He missed the house and all, plus letting Lhong play with Mew wasn't making him feel at ease.But still, he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

He got startled with the buzz of his phone, remembering that he sent another emoji to Mew for tonight and didn't get a reply.

_"I miss you."_

He kept staring at the screen and after few seconds, he straightened up, sitting on couch and calling Mew instead of texting him.

"Gulf? Is everything--"

"Pick me up." He said quickly, not wanting to give himself time to change his mind.He felt a little nervous when the guy on the other side stayed quiet.

"P'Mew? Are you still there?" He asked since it was dead quiet but then he turned his head to the door as he heard the soft knock.

"Open the door." Mew said on the phone and Gulf walked to the door, it was in the middle of night and his mother was already sleeping.

"I know this seems weird but I swear I wasn't spying on you or anything I was just--" he started to mumble things, still standing in front of the door and trying to be quiet since it was really late.Gulf already knew he wouldn't be able to just pass by since this area was really away from Mew's home and it was too late.

"I don't know." Mew said quietly, chuckling and rubbing his face for a second. "The house feels kind of weird without you and..--I just wanted to get away, I guess."

Gulf kept staring at him, he wasn't really expecting this.He knew it meant something, yes Mew did a lot of things for him but they all had logical explanations, him being the nicest guy ever was the biggest reason.But this one was different.He was standing in front of his door in the middle of night, and saying the same things Gulf kept thinking about.

This was different, it felt different.

"Why did you tell me to pick you up? Is everything okay?" He asked, his eyes getting worried as he took a look inside like there could be something.He was getting into his worried and panicked mode so quickly just because Gulf told him two words.

He realized he was still standing there awkwardly, without saying a word when Mew looked at him questioningly.He took few steps closer to him and wrapped his arm around of Mew's shoulders without thinking twice.He was nervous and surprised before the hug but after sighing and tightening his hold on the older, he felt better.

"I missed you too." He mumbled in the lowest tone ever, knowing this wasn't like anything they've been through till now.This night was different, the way he was feeling right now was different and Gulf knew it.

He wasn't expecting his heart to get a little excited when Mew wrapped his arms around of him, on a lower place than anybody would touch.Mew hugged his waist instead of his back and Gulf somehow felt relieved after having Mew's palms on his hoodie.

He didn't need any confirmation, the way Mew hugged him back was enough to make him realize it was also different for Mew, tonight was something different.

Till now everything had to happen, it wasn't their choice.Only helping each other was their choice, other else was just fate, they mostly had to go that way.But now Gulf had opportunity to stay there and he wanted Mew, he missed Mew; the other could just go back to his normal life and keep his deal with Gulf, but he wanted Gulf.This time they both chose it, it didn't happen because they were forced to it.

He looked at Mew when he slowly pulled away, after seeing him he was sure that he missed him even more than he calculated.

Actually he was going to pull away and take Mew inside since it was kind of chilly and too dark, his mind was about to do that but his heart pushed him to stare back at Mew's eyes when the older cupped his cheek.

It was odd, out of blue and completely unexpected; but also in a strange way, it was so expected.Everything was different, the way they were looking at each other, the way they were touching each other, even their breathing was different; but it also felt the same.Like nothing was changed, like it was just the right moment they were waiting.

Gulf closed his eyes when he felt Mew's breath against his lips, his hand on Mew's shoulder was squeezing it a little bit harder after feeling the way older stroked his back.He didn't even feel strange when he parted his lips slightly before Mew crashed their lips together.He wasn't expecting the kiss, but also expecting it.It was really hard to explain, he never thought about his feelings towards Mew before and now he was kissing him back eagerly.Like it was always there, like it had to happen and it was always welcomed.

It was really hard to explain, but the kiss was enough to make him confirm that he wanted it,   
a lot.

After all these days and sleepless nights, he finally stopped thinking.He pulled Mew closer when he found his back against to the door side.They were kissing each other passionately like they were waiting for this and they never realized it.

Gulf whimpered softly when Mew pressed himself against to him and it caused older to pull away in a heartbeat.

"I'm sorry---" his hand found younger's belly automatically. "--I didn't want to hurt you--" his eyes got bigger and he raised his eyebrows. "---it actually got bigger?" He asked, looking down after feeling like Gulf's belly was a little bigger than a week ago, but the hoodie didn't allow him to see much.

"It did?" Gulf furrowed his eyebrows, he didn't really check it that much.

"It did." Mew smiled. "Just a little bit."

"You can tell that with just touching it?" Gulf looked at him with a small smile.

"Of course." Mew smiled back, his hand moving to younger's side after caressing his stomach over the hoodie.They both didn't touch each other this much, but all of sudden everything felt so normal like they've been doing it since years.

Gulf knew they would have to talk, so he just leaned closer to the man in front of him and kissed him again.He didn't really want to have a serious talk cause he knew things were fucked up, he would like to kiss him for a while instead of that.

So he did.


End file.
